Young Writers Society

Script: Open House

by Nike


Jane Einsch is throwing a party at a house her father has on the market. When they say, what you don’t know doesn’t hurt, they don’t really mean that. This house is haunted. Her idea of a party blanks out from her mind when her and her friends have a nightmare come true.

Every time something bad happens (paranormal, killing, scaring) the dancers hear nothing. They know nothing. They are blocked out of the world. The dance floor (dining room) is a trap. They are stuck there forever when the clock strikes ten o’clock PM. The dancers are going to be used as killers.

Also, some moments of activity only happen to one person and no one else can experience, see, or hear it. Sometimes the activity can kill them since no one can help either, but others people from the outside manage or the person experiencing it could stop it.


Jane Einsch

Ariana Reilly

Kaily Gladstone

Eli Reilly

Jesse Santos

Samantha Denkins

Delia Winston

Jay Bertus

Toby Peros

Harley Williams


Jane: Janey

Ariana: A

Kaily: Kay

Jesse: Channing

Delia: Dee


Scene I

[Jane] grabs the keys from the lockbox.

[Jane] unlocks door. (Show key unlocking the door, zoom to that.).

[Anyone] places drinks on the floor and snacks. Any item they brought with them should be put on the ground next to the fireplace.

Ariana: I can’t believe your dad let you use this place!

Jane: Like he knows I’m throwing a party.

[Kaily] walks into the room from the kitchen.

Kaily: More like a get-together.

Jane: Still.

[all characters] laugh and try to set up the food in the kitchen.

[Ariana]’s phone rings.

Ariana: Cherrio!

[Ariana] covers receiver.

Ariana: I’m trying accents.

[Jane] and [Kaily] laugh. [Ariana] uncovers receiver. [Jane] and [Kaily] do whatever, accompany themselves.

Ariana: Yeah, yeah. I was hoping, I don’t wanna eat from the floor. Okay. See you!

[Ariana] hangs up and puts the phone away.

Jane: Chinese?

[Ariana] nods.

Kaily: Table?

[Ariana] nods.

Jane: Thank God. I’m hungry as fuckin’ hell.

[all characters] laugh.

Kaily: I’m gonna wait for them outside then. Is Jesse coming too?

Jane: Oh you and your Jesse. Just go outside!

[Kaily] and [Jane] smile. [Kaily] walks out the front door, leaving it open. [Ariana] and [Jane] set up the radio by the fireplace.

Ariana: Who’s coming?

Jane: Oh, just a few people from work and school. It is more like a get-together.

[Ariana] and [Jane] sit on the floor.

Jane: Good thing they’re bringing bean bags…

Ariana: Didn’t Kaily bring some pillows?

[Jane] looks around room.

Jane: Yeah. But where did she put them?

Ariana: Probably upstairs.

Scene II

Outside the house - viewing where Kaily is standing.

[Kaily] is sitting on the stairs, looking around the street.

Kaily: Dammit. It’s so cold out here. They better come quick.

[Kaily] looks through her pockets. She stands up and realizes that the door has been shut. She tries to open the door but it is locked.

Kaily: Guys! Open the door! I don’t have my phone!

[Kaily] pounds on the door. She tries the door knob again.

We go back to the inside of the house. [Jane] runs to the door.

Jane: Why’d you lock yourself out? She smiles, laughing.

Kaily: I didn’t, that’s the thing. I left the door open.

Jane: Right…

Kaily: I ran out of the house down the block! I left it open!

Jane: I don’t know why we’re arguing about this.

[Jane] tries to unlock the door. The lock turns back into the lock position. She tries to open it, but it won’t budge.

Kaily: What’s going on?

Jane: The door’s fucked up.

Kaily: Dammit Jane! And you yell at me!

Jane: God, I’m sorry. The door is literally fucked up. When are the guys getting here?

Kaily: I don’t know. Call ‘em. I left my phone in the house.

A phone rings.

Jane: Speak of the devil.

[Jane] walks back into the living room and answers [Kaily]’s phone.

Jane: Hello?

Scene goes to [Eli Reilly] talking on the phone while driving. [Jesse Santos] is with him in the passenger seat, holding a six pack of beers.

Eli: Hey, where’s Kaily?

Jane: Locked out. The front door is jammed. Wait.

We go back into the car. [Jesse] pulls the phone away from [Eli].

Jesse: Don’t get mad, you’re driving! It’s illegal to talk on the phone.

Eli: Whatever.

Jesse on the phone: Hey.

Now we follow Jane.

Jane: Jesse? Hey man.

Jesse: We’re almost there so chill out. We’ll fix the door.

Jane: How’d you hear me?

Jesse: I’m a pro.

Jane laughs: Whatever.

[Jane] runs back to the front door.

Jane: Kay, go to the back of the house. There’s a door there, I’ll go and unlock it.

Kaily: Hopefully that one is not eff’ed up. She laughs softly.

[Jane] goes into the kitchen and unlocks the door. The door opens. [Kaily] comes into the house and takes the phone from [Jane]’s hand.

Jane: Hey! She looks appalled.

Kaily: My phone, my call.

[Kaily] walks back into the living room and sits on the floor.

Scene III

The focus goes to Ariana who is upstairs, looking for the pillows.

Ariana yells: Kaily! Where did you put the pillows?

Kaily yells: In the dining room!

Ariana: No wonder they aren’t up here…

[Ariana] walks back downstairs.

Ariana: I’ll grab them.

[Jane] walks into the room with pillows in her hands.

Ariana: Never mind.

[Jane] smiles, placing the pillows on the floor.

Kaily: I’ll help you to the back of the house. (She’s still on the phone talking to Eli)

[Kaily] walked to the kitchen (still on the phone) – she’s out of the shot.

Jane: I wonder when everyone is coming…

Ariana: Me too. Sammy said she’d be the first one through the door!

Jane: Yes, I mean, she’s probably hiding somewhere. Sarcasm

Ariana: I bet. That girl is something else.

Shot goes to the front door. It is wide open and Samantha Denkins walks into the house. On the screen we see a (IV)(Roman Numeral Four) pop up.

Samantha: Guys, why’d you leave the door wide open? Glad it was me, but anyone could’ve walked into here.

[Ariana] and [Jane] are shocked.

Samantha: Hello…? Guys? Are you okay? I said I’d be the first one here, why are you shocked?

Ariana: N-no, it’s nothing. It’s just that the front door was jammed. We couldn’t get it to open.

Samantha: Well it looked to me like you found a way.

Jane: Probably Kaily budged it open with the guys.

Ariana: Yeah, probably.

Samantha: Then why aren’t they here if they opened the door?

Jane: Grabbing some stuff from the car. They knew about the door being jammed so they took care of it.

Shot goes to the door closing. Comes back to the living room.

Samantha: Whatever; where’s the party?!

Ariana: More people will come soon. We just need Eli to bring in the table for our snacks and Chinese. There are pillows to sit on, so go ahead. Jane, turn on some music and I’ll go dim the lights in the dining room.

Jane: Gottcha.

[Ariana] walked into the dining room and dimmed the lights. [Jane] worked on the radio, some music started to play.

Samantha: This isn’t going to be one of those quote un-quote boom-boom parties? ‘Cause you hate them?

Jane: You can ‘boom-boom’ in the dining room.

Some louder music starts playing.

Ariana: For the dancing in here.

Samantha: Thank God. I love chatting, but you know I love dancing.

Jane: Right, of course. Jesse is bringing a pack, so you can start your dancing after a few.

Samantha: Aye! That’s so true but you don’t gotta proclaim it!

Jane: Whatever. She’s laughing

The shot goes to the dining room which has loud music playing. [Ariana] starts walking out but she hears a strange noise and stops moving. The sound is of a scratch. [Ariana] walks out of the room, forgetting it.

Ariana: I’m ready for this. I need to dance tonight.

Samantha: Me too! I’m gonna get Harley to move his ass.

[All characters] laugh.

Jane: If he bothers. That guy has the self-esteem of a teenage girl covered in acne. Not gonna happen.

Ariana: True, true. But if Sammy wants him to, she will get him to.

The front door is shown. It is wide open once again as two more people walk up to the house. The characters are, Delia Winston and Jay Bertus. (VI) pops up on the screen. They walk into the house, following the sound of the music. They find the living room.

Delia: Hey chicas!

Jane: Hola Senorita!

Delia: Looks like this place needs more people. Where’s everybody?

Ariana: No idea. They are coming though.

Jay: Good, ‘cause I heard Eli grabbed some Chinese. I’m starving.

[Delia] pulls [Jay]’s arm playfully and walks to one of the pillows.

Jay: and I’m the only guy here.

Samantha: Oh shove it. You love being around girls.

Jay: Whatever Sam.

Samantha: rolls her eyes

[Ariana] and [Jane] walk out of the room, into the kitchen.

Jane: Too much backstory to that.

Ariana: Tell me about it.

[Jane] grabs a soda from one of the twelve packs and opens it.

Ariana: Hey, where’s Kaily?

Jane: drinks I wish I knew. She was supposed to be with the guys.

Ariana: Where are they? They’ve been gone for a while now. I mean even Sammy got here. Where the hell could they have gone? You don’t think she’s outside the whole time waiting for them?

Jane: Remember that the door was open?

[Ariana] nods.

Jane: Yeah; I thought that was them and they just went back to fetch a few stuff.

Ariana: Unless they’re having a threesome in Eli’s car.

Jane & Ariana: Ew! They start to laugh

Ariana: I can’t imagine my brother doing that! Ew!

Jane: Don’t make me imagine that horrible thing of a thought. I can’t believe you even said that!

Knocking sounds come from the ceiling. Six knocks.

Jane: Please tell me you heard that.

Ariana: Yup. I heard scratching from the dining room.

Jane: Maybe that’s them! They’re just trying to prank us. Trying to scare the shit out of us. Oh, not funny.

Ariana: Eli would pull a stunt like that, being my brother.

Jane: Exactly.

[Jane] puts down her drink on the kitchen counter. [Ariana] and [Jane] run out of the kitchen and up the stairs. The camera is focused on them the whole time.

Ariana: Don’t fuck with us guys. It’s a party; you guys should come down and have a drink.

Jane: Speaking of drinks, I hope you brought them.

[Jane] and [Ariana] look around the upper story but can’t find anyone.

Ariana: Either they ran off pretty swiftly or we’re both hallucinating.

Jane: We are both hallucinating.

Ariana: Or they ran from hiding spot to hiding spot as we looked around! She points at Jane

Jane: Doubt it. I can’t even pull that off.

Ariana: rolls her eyes Maybe someone was knocking on the front door.

Jane: From right above us?

Ariana: We probably thought it was from right above us when really it was the front… stop kicking me. That’s not cool Jane.

Something is grabbing [Ariana]’s leg. A hand in a black cloud of smoke.

Jane: I’m not kicking you.

Ariana: Let’s just go downstairs.

Scene IV

On the screen, it reads thirty minutes passed. The shot goes to the front door, showing multiple people walking through the door in quick motion. The door shuts then opens as each guest comes and the numbers pop up every time.

Once the number ten (X) pops up, the door locks for good.

Samantha: This is what I like to call a party!

We are shown the party now. Loud and roudy. People are dancing, chatting, drinking and eating.

Delia: Yes! Yes it is Sammy!

[Delia] and [Samantha] walk into the crowded living room and grab a few more wine coolers.

Delia: Have you seen Jay?

Samantha: Why would I give a shit?

Delia: Right. You’re the ex anyway. Whatever, if he loves me, he will wait.

Samantha: Bitch, let’s get Harley’s ass on this crazy floor!

[Delia] and [Samantha] run for the dining room.

The shot goes to a parked and abandoned car which is unlocked. We follow a path Eli, Jesse, and Kaily took toward the house, through the back. The camera goes to the basement entrance. There are some noises of panting and things moving around. The camera zooms into the house and the door opens, revealing a pitch black basement and a child.

Child One: Will you play with me?

We are taken into the basement, following after the child. A lamp flickers on and a tied-up Kaily appears. She’s on a chair, tied to it with duct tape on her mouth. Her face has make-up all over it (like a child put it on so very messy) and blood running down her scalp.

The camera turns to the right, revealing a knife covered in blood and a Barbie doll with its head off next to it. We follow a blood trail up the stairs and go back to the party.

Everyone is loud, partying. [Jay] throws up. The camera speeds it way around the party area and up the stairs. [Ariana] and [Jane] run down the stairs, scared.

Jane: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Ariana: What was that?

Jane: I don’t fucking wanna know. I wanna leave.

The lights start to flicker. People seem to enjoy that and keep on partying but [Jane] and [Ariana] get even more frightened.

Delia yells: Nice! Like strobes!

Jane: We have to tell everyone before it gets bigger. Before it takes over us. We have to outsmart this.

Ariana: Try as we may.

[Jane] opens her mouth to yell but automatically shuts it. She tries to open her mouth but can’t.

Ariana: Jane? You okay?

[Jane] shakes her head and points at her mouth.

Ariana: We need to leave. Guys! Ariana starts to yell Guys!

No one listens because the volume of the music gets louder.

Ariana screams: RUN OUT OF THE HOUSE!

The house starts to shake intensely, like an Earthquake for just a couple seconds. No one notices but [Jane].

The shot goes to the basement stairs and we see [Kaily] [Eli] and [Jesse] walking up. They are all smiling and acting quite normal. Except for the blood stains they have on their necks, it looks like a Vampire bit them. The have been possessed.

Jay drunk: Fairly late. Where’s my Chinese!?

Eli: It’s in my car. Would you go grab it?

Jay: No. You better bring it because I’ve been waiting!

[Eli] walks up to [Jay], close enough to smell each other’s breaths. [Eli] stares him down.

Eli: Be a doll and grab that Chinese.

Jay: Alright, alright. Chill out man. I’ma grab it.

Jesse: That Jay… He’s first.

[Jay] walks out of the room. He’s out of the shot. All three of them go to the dining room and blend into the crowd.

We face the door once again and Toby Peros knocks on the door. It’s locked shut. He rings the doorbell but no one answers because no one can hear it.

[Ariana] keeps on yelling but no one can hear her.

[Toby] calls [Jane] and [Ariana] answers her phone since [Jane] cannot talk.

Ariana: He-hello?

Toby: I’m standing in front of the house. Wanna let me in?

Ariana shocked: It’s locked?

Toby: Obviously…

[Ariana] looks at [Jane] and then at the door. [Jane] walks up to it, trying the knob.

Jane: It won’t budge.

[Jane] can finally speak.

[Toby] keeps the phone on, but tries to open the door again.

Toby: Turn the lock babe, it ain’t that hard.

Jane: You should try it for size. This thing won’t fucking budge. Tears start to run down her cheeks, she’s not crying yet.

Ariana: Thank God you can finally talk.

[Ariana] walks up to [Jane] and helps her with the door.

Ariana: Open you mother fucker!

Jane: The back door worked last time.

Toby: I’m not going back there.

Jane: Why not?

[Ariana] hands [Jane] the phone.

Toby: There’s a messed up child there. She’s really creepy.

We look at what [Toby] sees. A small girl with blood all over her. She’s carrying a rag doll that’s holding a switchblade.

Jane: Children aren’t creepy.

Toby: Trust me Janey. I don’t want to go there. She has blood all over her and she’s glaring at me. I could die just standing here. I need to get you out.

[Jane] looks up the stairs. Flashbacks come up with screaming [Ariana] and [Jane]. Them getting hurt and pulled and them running.

Jane: You can’t save me.

Toby: I don’t want you two to die in there.

[Ariana] runs back to [Jane] she disappeared to give them some space.

Ariana scared: You will not believe this.

Jane: What?

We go to where [Toby] is standing, outside of the house. [Toby] starts kicking the door, playing with the knob. He pulls out a Swiss Army Knife from his pocket and starts working on the lock.

Toby: Step away from the door.

[Jane] and [Ariana] move away from the door. [Toby] pushes it open with a bright smile of achievement on his face.

Toby: That’s how you get shit done.

[Ariana] pulls both [Jane] and [Toby] to the dining room. There are people dancing, so engrossed in the music they can’t stop. [Kaily], [Jesse], and [Eli] are in there, staring at all the people from the corner of the room.

Jane: Yeah, they’re dancing. You wanna join?

Ariana: No. Look.

[Ariana] screams.

Jane: Jesus Christ, Ariana!

[Jane] and [Toby] cover their ears.

Ariana: They aren’t reacting.

[Jane] looks at the dancers. They seemed clueless to the screaming.

Jane: Ohmygosh.

Toby: Hey, look at your brother A.

[Ariana] took a look at [Eli] and put on a shocked expression.

Ariana: It looks like he got the life sucked right out of him. Tears stung her eyes

Toby: Right?

[Jane] takes a look at her phone. The time shows up as nine fifty-nine PM. The phone starts blinking and vibrating uncontrollably.

[Jane] drops the phone and backs away from it.

Ariana: Your phone is fucking possessed.

[Toby] is still staring at the dining room. The dancers start to slow down, freezing their movement. [Eli], [Kaily], and [Jesse] look with evil stares at the whole room, walking around as if looking for their prey.

Ariana: Let’s leave.

Jane: Toby…?

[Toby] got scared, looking at what was going on. He was frozen with fear.

[Jane] starts tugging [Toby]’s arm. [Toby] manages to come back from his fear and starts to pull both [Ariana] and [Jane] away from the room and to the living room.

Toby: We have to leave.

Jane: You think?

All three of them reach the front door. It is locked.

Toby yells: How in fucking hell is this door fucking locked?! I broke it open!

[Toby] still tries to break open the door. The door zaps him and he flies across the floor.

Jane: Oh my God!

[Jane] runs up to him to check if he is okay.

Toby: I’m fine Jane.

[Ariana] touches the door but it does not shock her. No one felt or saw the shock but [Toby]. She runs back to them but stops mid-way. She sees something black coming from the kitchen. There are no lights on in there but she manages to see it from the lights in the dining room.

Ariana whispers: Guys… Guys. Get up.

[Ariana] is still as a statue, staring at it in freight.

Ariana yells: Get up now!

[Ariana] is scared. She moves as if to run but doesn’t. She motions to [Jane] and [Toby] to get up and they manage. They are scared because of her reaction.

[Ariana] pulls on the door knob of the front door, trying so badly to escape. She looks back and runs up the stairs, [Jane] and [Toby] trailing behind her.

Toby: A, what do you see?

Ariana: You don’t see it?

Toby: What? See what?

[Toby] and [Jane] turn their heads back to look down the stairs and see nothing. [Ariana] sees the black figure following after them, walking, but reaching them.

Ariana: That! She points at the figure

Jane: There’s nothing there.

[Ariana] is the only one that can see it. She runs into the bathroom and locks the door. The camera is focused on her. She’s leaning against the door, panting. Re-thinking, she runs into the shower.

Ariana nervous: It could get in here if I don’t block the door. Fuck it, it’s a fucking ghost. It can get in here either way! Oh God, I’m talking to myself.

Jane: Ariana… you okay?

Toby: We should just find a way to ditch this place.

Ariana nervous: Yes, good.

[Ariana] sees black smoke coming from under the door. She creeps deeper into the shower, shivering.

Ariana: Ditch. This. Place. Yes.

Jane: You okay A?

Ariana: Who the hell would be?

The smoke grows larger, practically engulfing the place.

Ariana: I’ma fucking go blind. That’s probably why I see black smoke. I gonna go blind!

Jane: No you won’t!! You’ll be okay!

The camera goes to see [Jane] and [Toby]. They are standing in front of the bathroom door, waiting patiently for [Ariana]. There is no black smoke.

Ariana: It’s turning into a figure. Oh my God. I’m gonna die. It’s gonna kill me.

Toby: You can’t die.

[Jane] looks at him.

Toby: You can’t die A. I won’t let that happen to you.

There’s silence. We go into the bathroom and see [Ariana]. Tears are staining her cheeks as the black smoke and figure fade from her vision. The illusion disappears. The bathroom door opens by itself.

[Ariana] stares at [Toby] as he stands at the doorway.

The scene goes to the dining room. [Eli], [Kaily], and [Jesse] start to suck people’s souls out of their bodies by staring them down. Like hypnotizing them. Every person, one by one, starts to look like them, all empty and evil. They walk out of the dining room and by the stairs.

We go back to the trio.

Jane: Guys, we have to go.

The sound of piano keys come from a distance; a small tap on the same key over and over again, every second.

[Toby] runs up to [Ariana] and hugs her tightly.

Jane: I swear to God if you guys don’t get up we will die.

Both of them run behind [Jane]. Everyone hears the piano keys. They run down the stairs but stop mid-way. The people, now soulless creatures, stood at the bottom of the stairs, ready to suck them out clean.

Jane: Shit, shit, shit.

An old tune plays from the radio. Something composed by Chopin.

Ariana: Back up the damn stairs. Maybe they can’t walk up- never mind.

One of the people, Samantha, stars to walk up the stairs.

The trio backs up, running back into the bathroom.

[Toby] locks the bathroom door. [Jane] and [Ariana] stand behind him as he leans against the door with his full force. [Jane] and [Ariana] join him, trying to protect themselves.

Ariana: We’re gonna die. I know it. We can’t beat those things.

Jane: She’s right. This isn’t Call Of Duty! We got no guns to kill them.

Toby: Just shut up. They are our friends, we just gotta save them. Right? Make them remember who they are.

Jane: Their souls were sucked out of their fucking body! They won’t remember shit!

Ariana: Poor Eli.

[Jane] and [Toby] look at her with concern.

Jane: That’s right, your brother is gone. Dammit.

Toby: Let’s run out of here.

Ariana: To where exactly? To their soul sucking faces? Yeah, let’s totally go suicidal on this.

Toby: We’re gonna die anyway. The quicker, the better!

Jane & Ariana: Really?!

Toby: No. We’ll just push past them. Hit our way through. Or find something to attack them with.

Jane: What, toilet paper?

Toby: We’re on the verge of dying. Let’s not argue.

The soul sucked people start to pound against the door.

Toby: Shit.

The camera focuses on the people. We see a bunch of them running up the stairs to the trio.

Scene V

The camera flies down, past the people and to the basement. There, stands a scared [Delia]. She has a flashlight in one hand and in the other, a switchblade. A knocked out child lies next to her. [Delia] would never kill one.

She stands, trying to protect herself. Screams erupt from around her and she looks around, frightened.

Delia: Fucking, stop!

Child laughter comes next.

Delia: Leave me alone! I already killed one of you!

Child Two: Don’t lie now, Dee.

[Delia] waves around the switchblade- trying to scare off whoever is about to attack. Something falls, making [Delia] jump. Suddenly, we see a fire erupt from right next to her.

Delia: You think that’ll scare me? Huh, motherfuckers?

[Delia] walks away from the fire but it gets larger, following her.

Delia: Okay, I see what you did there. I give you props.

[Child Two] grabs her foot as she lies on the floor. [Delia] tries to pull it back.

Delia: Stupid freak, let go of me!

[Delia] bends down and slashes the knife against her skin. No blood comes out. She flashes the flashlight to the child and sees an evil grin on her face. [Delia] jumps back upright and begins to pull again.

Delia: Let go! Go play with your dolly!

Child Two: I wanna play with you, Delia.

Delia: How the fu-. How do you know my name?

Child Two: You’re my best friend.

Delia: No. Hell naw!

Child Two screams questionably: No?!

[Child Two] pulls away, standing up and trying to stare [Delia] down.

Delia: Oh, fuck you.

[Delia] swipes the knife across her face and [Child Two] flinches away.

Delia: That’s right you little bitch.

Scene VI

[Delia] is in the front room trying to open the door.

Delia: Come on!

She keeps trying to pull the door open. Next, she kicks it, trying to push it open this time.

Child Two: Come here Delia. I wanna play!

[Delia] turns on her heel and sees the child standing at the door to the basement. She has a small smile on her face, holding a creepy doll.

Delia: Please God, don’t do this to me.

Child Two: Please Delia. Come play!

[Child Two] starts walking up to [Delia] slowly. Every step she takes, a piano key is hit. Almost like a ticking clock and a dramatic start. [Delia] starts to take deep breaths, scared for her life.

We don’t see the zombie people now because they are all upstairs, pounding on the bathroom door.

Child Two: Delia, come play!

Delia: Get the hell away from me!

[Delia] runs up the stairs and the camera follows her. She stops mid-way up the stairs when she sees the soul sucked friends. She starts walking slowly back down the stairs.

Child Two: Watch out.

[Delia] turns around quickly and right in front of her is [Child Two] with an evil grin and blood down her chin. She has a knife in her hand now instead of the doll.

Child Two: Wanna play?

Delia: Shit.

Scene VII

We are in the bathroom with the trio.

Toby: They are only getting stronger!

[Toby] is pushing the door so it would stay shut. [Jane] and [Ariana] are helping him.

Jane: We need something to defend ourselves with!

Ariana: We went through this already!

Jane: The curtain rod! Grab it!

Ariana: How ‘bout cleaning supplies?

Jane: This house is for sale, do you think there’s cleaning supplies?

Ariana: I’m hoping that your dad decided to spruce this place up.

Toby: Jane, grab the curtain rod.

[Jane] pulls away from the door and runs onto the toilet. She pulls off the curtain rod and jumps back down. She hands the rod to [Toby].

Toby: Ariana, look for supplies.

Ariana: What if there’s nothing?

Toby: Just do it babe. We have no time.

[Ariana] flushed when he said that. She looked through the shelves and finds some cleaning supplies. [Jane] is leaning against the door with [Toby].

Ariana: Got it.

Jane: Give me a bottle.

[Ariana] hands her a bottle and leans against the door.

Toby: We have everything we need. Now, on the count of three we will open the door and attack. You ready?

Jane: As ready as I’ll ever be.

Ariana: We have to do this.

[Toby] grabs [Ariana]’s hand.

Toby: One.

Ariana: Two.

[Ariana] and [Toby] look at [Jane].

Jane: Three.

They pulled away from the door and ran through the people. They defended themselves. This is improved. You just have to defend yourself.

Delia: Guys! Guys!

Jane: Dee!

[Jane] looks around and sees [Delia] standing at the bottom of the stairs with a knocked out child next to her.

[Delia] ran up the stairs and helped them fight.

Scene VIII

The camera shows the back of the house. [Eli], [Jesse], and [Kaily] are on the stairs, wiping off the make-up from their faces.

Eli: They are gonna kill us for doing this.

Jesse: Who gives? This was awesome!

Eli: I know. We gotta tell ‘em.

Kaily: Naw, let them have their fun.

Jesse: What if they’re really getting hurt?

Eli: You know they aren’t.

We go back into the house. [Toby] hits the floor as one of the soul sucked people pushed him off. The curtain rod fell down the stairs.

Toby: Dammit.

[Ariana] was spraying them everywhere but they defended themselves by pushing her away. [Jane] and [Delia] were at the bottom of the stairs. [Child Two] dissepeared.

Now we are at the back of the house again.

Kaily: Let’s get in there.

Eli: Alright.

[Jesse] opened the door and saw [Child Two] in front of him.

Child Two: We are done?

Jesse: Yeah kiddo.

[Jesse] scratched her head and they walked into the house.

Jesse: Olive, come with us.

[Olive: who was Child Two] followed after the three of them.

They walked in on the fighting.

Eli: Shit. I hope they’re okay. I didn’t think this would happen.

[Kaily] ran up to [Delia] and [Jane], hugging them tightly.

Jane: I thought you were one of them!

Delia: I thought you were a goner!

[Kaily] pulled away, smiling.

Eli: Happy Halloween!

The soul sucked people stopped defending themselves and started to laugh. [Toby] and [Ariana] didn’t hear [Eli] so they kept fighting.

Jay: Stop Toby! Stop!

[Toby] put the curtain rod down, before he could slam it into [Jay]’s face.

Toby: What the fu…?

Jay: Happy Halloween man.

[Ariana] heard it.

Ariana: You fuckers! I thought this place was really haunted and fucked up!

Everyone started to laugh and [Ariana] ran down the stairs to [Eli]. She started to punch him playfully. [Eli] just kept on laughing.

Ariana: I can’t believe this!

We face [Jane] and [Delia] and they are talking to [Jay].

Delia: You really pulled this off. It was awesome.

Jay: I know.

Jane: Look at this make-up, it’s cool.

[Jane] touches [Jay]’s face, to check the make-up. [Ariana] ran past them, back up the stairs.

Jay: Dude, this was so cool. You should’ve seen your faces.

The camera goes up the stairs, past the people, and to the top of the steps where [Toby] and [Ariana] were sitting.

They were holding hands.

Ariana: Even though this was all a prank, it was awesome.

Toby: I know! I thought it was all real.

Ariana laughs: And you were so brave.

[Ariana] punched him lightly on the arm. She put her head on his shoulder.

Scene IX

The party is alive again. Music is loud and the people washed all their make-up off. It’s back to normal.

[Jane] is eating Chinese food with [Jay] in the front room.

Jane: So how’d you guys get the idea and why didn’t you get me into it?

Jay: Eli really wanted to prank you and A, Janey.

Jane laughs: I know whatever.

Jay: The idea… hm, I think it came when we were playing Black Ops.

Jane: Where else, right?

They started to laugh. We go to the living room and see [Samantha] and [Jesse] and [Delia] playing UNO. Next, we fall into the dining room where everyone else is dancing to the music, even the two little girls who played to scary children.

[Ariana] and [Toby] walk into the living room and we follow them.

Ariana: Can we join?

Delia: Mhm.

[Kaily] and [Eli] pop up with bags of chips and sit down next to them.

Eli: Make it a bigger game.

Samantha: Alright guys, after our game.

The dining room was now empty and we follow the two little girls.

Olive: I better get my pay for that, Jesse promised.

Child One: Yeah!

Olive: Serena, I still can’t believe you pulled it off.

Serena (which was Child One): I know; it was awesome.

They walk into the front room and see [Jane] and [Jay].

Olive: Is there anymore Chinese left?

Jay: Yeah.

[Jay] grabbed a box from behind him and handed it to Olive. [Jane] gave Serena two forks and some tissues.

Jane: Sit with us guys.

Serena: Alright.

[Serena] and [Olive] saw down next to them on some pillows and ate.

Scene X

It’s the next day. The house is empty and people are passing by it. The house looks normal. It’s empty. People walk past it.

We see [Jane] pull up in her car and park on the curb. She looks at the house.

Jane: It’d be horrible if you were really haunted. I don’t know how we would’ve survived.

She pulls away and drives off.

The door opens on its own and one of the extras stops walking. She looks at the house. She walks up to the open door and gets pulled in. The door shuts.

The screen fades to black and the credits roll.

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112 Reviews

Points: 2894
Reviews: 112

Sat Sep 27, 2014 7:17 pm
GrandWild says...

I only read snippits of it, but I read enough for it to make sense. That was the single most creepy thing I have ever read in my life. I don't know if I'm gonna sleep tonight........... Maybe I'll just watch something with some popcorn and pray that my sister doesn't turn psychopath.....

Nike says...

When I saw someone had left a comment on this, I was surprised. I have forgotten about this a long time ago (I even hate this). Thanks for the comment! LOL. Don't be scared, it's not real. xD

GrandWild says...

I know it's not real! It was just thrillingly scary.

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16 Reviews

Points: 456
Reviews: 16

Sun Nov 10, 2013 4:27 am
candrew wrote a review...

Hey I'm Candrew. First, way too many people. Second, FREAKY! Third, LOVED it! I couldn't have come up with that if I watched every paranormal movie there was. It was really good. You have talent and you should use it. I hope i get the privilege of reading more of your things as it was a pleasure reading this. Keep writing.

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1333 Reviews

Points: 25775
Reviews: 1333

Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:00 am
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Hannah wrote a review...

First impression: WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE.
that's probably not a problem in a movie as we'd have faces to tell them apart, but the names are all so non-descript that i can't separate character from character and i get confused really easily with relationships between people, especially in the beginning.

Second impression: ahh, the most common downfall of horror movie beginnings, the reason, i suppose that almost all of them start out with a sex scene these days: super boring introduction of characters while you try to evoke the feeling of normal-ness. there's nothing engaging in people bringing stuff in and setting up for a party. i'd say maybe try figuring out some sort of drama for them to be engaged in while they're setting up, so we have a mini story to get us interested before the real story starts?

that said, i cannot for the life of me follow the real story. i am certain that in visuals it would work a lot better, but your descriptions don't have me following. and even though it seems like you're playing way more to the visual side, your dialogue still needs to have SOMETHING, right? right now it's all cliched, empty words. maybe, in fact, the movie is just not my style, but i gave up half way through.

don't take this as a big insult. i remember a teacher telling me she went to a workshop where they'd pass out their pieces and people would read until they weren't interested, and how people would never read her pieces for very long. at first they'd read a sentence and be done, and then maybe a paragraph. but when she finally got people to read through an entire piece of their own will, she knew she'd done something right. all the failures just pushed her to consider her audience, her work, and her technique, and make it better.

do the same.
or ignore me.
but keep writing.
good luck and let me know if you have any questions!

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Points: 581
Reviews: 3

Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:49 am
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sushantshubham wrote a review...

Hello Nike,

Well this is rather gruesome. But hey, I'm not beyond enjoying a good horror story every once in a while. However, I think a problem lies and the lack of realism in this one. Let's consider the world we live in. No one (especially not four young ladies) would go to a sketchy gathering alone. None of them applied to Harvard. Obviously, because if they had, they wouldn't have been so stupid as to attend the mysterious gathering. Secondly, Harvard is among the best schools in the world. it would never send a six sentence letter to anyone.

This should be split into a multi-chapter short story. That way you can incorporate the kind of realism that makes horror stories shine.

You've shifted from your old stream-of-consciousness overdrive to a body of work dedicated to surgical precision and devoid of the acceptable excesses that make humans more than biological robots. Find a balance. Also, hello, and I hope you have been keeping well.

Nike says...

Well I did put in the plot that this house was a house her dad has on the market (her dad is a realtor and is selling the home). So it isn't really a sketchy gathering. Jane knows the place. I just wanted to let you know they wouldn't go to a random place. I do agree with you, maybe I should make it into a multi-chapter short story.

And thank you for reviewing :) I appreciate it. Hello to you too, yes, I have been keeping well. How about you?

*cries into coffee*
— LadyLizz