Just Because, You Say.
You Spread All Those Lies, Lettin' People believe You.
Feelin' No Guilt At All.
Sometimes I Ask Myself, "Does He Have A Soul?" or "Does He Have A Freakin' Heart?!"
There's Usually No Answer.
But That's What I Expected.
You Roam The Halls, A Fake Smile Plastered On Your Face. Did You See That I Wrote Fake There? Well, I Hope You Did. Because It Is FAKE.
People Swoon Around You, Taking In Your Every Lie. I Would Personally Say That You Have A Problem.
A Mental Problem.
It's Called Being A Psychological Liar. Just Sayin'...
But, Let's Just Let That Be. I At Least Know You Lie, But Your Words Over Power Mine, Which Isn't Fair. My Family And Friends Now You're Crap, But No One Else Believes Me.
Thanks To You.
One Last Thing Before I Leave This Place, I Hate You. Just To Let You Know.
I Hate You, No, Better Yet, I Loathe You.
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139,305 Literary Works • 672,528 Reviews
This is very good but, you should try to tell more of a story. I love the message you wrote about and it's very true and original. Also, I found one mistake. I think it must of been a typo though.
I think Now is supposed to be Know. Keep up the good work!
I really liked this. It's what I wish I could say to some people but don't have the heart to do it. I would have to agree with the review before me though: it could use more detail.
Ok, so I suggest that you put more sentences in each paragraph. I realize that this is a short story and I can understand your story just fine, it's just that it will be more exciting for readers to read, if that makes any sense.... One way you could add sentences is by adding more detail. Detail is awesome!
Your story is really good, though! Good job! =)