Sitting down on the plastic seat, I huffed from anger. The walls were bland, all white and full of places with student pictures. No one was in the office right now, the principal left to get something.
I looked at the empty desk in front of me; it was huge and covered with random folders and sheets of paper. There was this bookcase, probably new and expensive with its dark brown wood shine.
At first I didn’t notice, but the noise of heavy metal startled me. I looked to my left and saw him just sitting next to me, not even saying a word. I don’t even think he noticed me sit down next to him. Shockingly he had a tux on with a fuchsia colored tie. He never wore a tux.
Looking away, I just sat silent for a couple of minutes, staring at the bookshelf and windows that showed the grey, boring, and empty hallways of our school. I could hear some dance music come from the gym where the dance was taking place.
Random thoughts were running through my head from frustration. I mean come on; he’s sitting right next to me and won’t even say anything or ask why I’m even here?! Why is he here anyways?
There was a desk behind us which was covered by piece of papers and a cup full of pens. Not caring if that could be important to the principal or not, I grabbed a sheet and a pen. I took a short glance at him again, but his hazel eyes were too focused on his phone. Taking a deep breath, calming my heart down from the rapid fast beating, I started to write.
My only specialty I could use through this terror.
Dear you,
I like the idea of you just simply ignoring me like that. It’a a nice, or no, kind thing to do to a friend. Well, I’m not sure if we’re that anymore. I wasn’t shocked by this discovery; don’t get me wrong, you do this all the time. I know, I have asked why you haven’t spoken to me and you said you were busy… your fuchsia tie must agree with you then. It still bugs me you know. I am just human, right?
Remember those times in class where we’d simply mock each other like there’s no tomorrow? How about when we couldn’t keep quiet in class from constant chatter with Dylan? Why did it stop so suddenly?
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I didn't finish this or edit or whatever. I wrote this during school a while ago and found it and thought to post it (:
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139,610 Literary Works • 672,619 Reviews
I liked the character, the whole scenario was very relatable.
also, for you to finish the letter would be good.
It would be worth you going through it and checking it for spelling and stuff at some point, because that would make it sound so much better
Basically, I liked it - but it felt like it stopped as soon as you were getting into it.
Probably because, as you said, you never went back through it or anything.
I don't get it, there's no really theme of your story and you have admitted it... I have deduced - and this is only my opinion - that you're in the principal's office because of some misconduct or something and you are deprived of joining the dance class in the gym.
But along with this, you have some conflict with the atmosphere: why isn't the person paying attention to you? was there someone more important?
Like I mentioned, your story, although filled with silent emotions, has very little content that makes some sense. But then, you have yourself admitted. It would have been better if you had edited it before putting it online so that at least the viewer could get a good impression of your capability.
These are my perceptions - but since I'm not an amateur reader (I'm not trying to boast) I'd suggest that you consider my review and write better next time. Good luck.
I don't get it, there's no really theme of your story and you have admitted it... I have deduced - and this is only my opinion - that you're in the principal's office because of some misconduct or something and you are deprived of joining the dance class in the gym.
But along with this, you have some conflict with the atmosphere: why isn't the person paying attention to you? was there someone more important?
Like I mentioned, your story, although filled with silent emotions, has very little content that makes some sense. But then, you have yourself admitted. It would have been better if you had edited it before putting it online so that at least the viewer could get a good impression of your capability.
These are my perceptions - but since I'm not an amateur reader (I'm not trying to boast) I'd suggest that you consider my review and write better next time. Good luck.
Hey, this reminds me of one of my old friends... :/ *peers at the computer screen* You aren't.... STALKING ME, are you???
Just kidding.
On to the review. I really liked it, the idea of a kind of renegade friend that you (or whoever the story was about) could only communicate with throug writing anymore really hit me. I think the wording is a little rough, but that's also kind of your decision in the end so I don't want to redo it and just kind of shove it down your throat, either.
Overall, though, it was very good and I'd love to see a continuation of this, like Twinkle suggested.
Keep writing (and PM me if you do continue with this) -
--Storm
This is a very good piece and to think you wrote this during school. Was it a class assignment or something? The descriptions here are short, simple and easy to read. You should continue on with this story. I wished there was more to read here. I was really engrossed by the reality in it. This is just something ordinary, something that happens quite often and no one pays much attention to things like these. And yet, here you've written it so marvelously that this little piece seems unique.
The best thing here was instead of just saying that he wasn't paying attention or anything, you wrote that his eyes were too focused on the phone. It creates better imagery that way. Goodluck in future posts