Alice

Spoiler! :

There was once a young girl named Alice. She wasn’t the nicest, nor the meanest. Alice had a passion, one that sometimes cannot be named.

It’s not very known, and not very appreciated.

She’s a writer.

Not a normal one, that writes about teenage romances or alien crashes.

Not one that speaks her heart out in a weird romantic novel. Not one that writes only biographies. Not one that writes about travelling.

No, she writes about nonsense.

Nonsense that no one reads.

Nonsense that no one wants to read.

It’s nonsense that brings her happiness even though everyone turns her down.

But there are two people in her life. Those two people support her in everything, love her for it, appreciate her work, they are there for her.

Even if she writes about how the air could be a danger to all of us, they tell her she’s amazing because she truly is.

Her writing isn’t bad, no, it’s brilliant, but no one reads it from the nonsense.

These two people are her wonderful parents. They are there for her all the time. When she writes a new specialty, they are there to give her hugs and kisses.

Her parents are the best people in the world. It doesn’t matter if other people trash her writing, her parents are there to say “It’s okay, you’re a brilliant writer.” Because she is.

Alice, a nonsense writer, wants her parents to be there forever and she appreciates every smile that comes from them.

Every meal that is handed to her on a platter. Every single piece of advice that is told to her ear. Everything.

Comments

Points: 1108
Reviews: 17

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Mon Jun 18, 2012 5:32 pm

firepen wrote a review...

Hi Nike, I was drawn to this piece of work because I am called Alice! I think this is good. At times, it is a bit repetitve and lacks structure. And I'm puzzled as to whether this is a poem, a story or a description. I think if you group together similar ideas in paragraphs then it would vastly improve it and give it a slighly better meaning. I also think the character you have here is a good one. Perhaps it is you, like some think, or perhaps you just have a knack at creating good characters. If you do not want to make this into a description/story, I think you could definitely use the character Alice again. I'm sorry that I have reviewed it so long after you wrote it - I have only juust seen it. I hope this is helpful. Feel free to PM me with any questions!

Points: 1747
Reviews: 135

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Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:51 pm

stargazer9927 wrote a review...

I figured this was about you since you said it was for your father's birthday in the spoiler. Making your writing personal is really cool. But if this is all true perhaps it would be better for you to put it in the non-fiction section.

It's good your parents appreciate your writing. And I agree with you one-hundred percent on when you said:

It’s nonsense that brings her happiness even though everyone turns her down.

I feel your pain with that. It doesn't matter that everyone appreciates writing in general, it matters that they turn yours down and tell you something's wrong with it, even though you loved it and you thought it was perfect. I go through that on a daily basis between this site and my creative writing class. But they don't understand that writing is a form of art and personal to you, so everyone writes differently and it shouldn't need to be their version of perfect as long as it's your version of perfect.

Sorry, once I start on something I can't stop:)

For me it's not my parents that support me (although they don't crush me either), it's my siblings. Everyone needs someone to tell them to keep going when they want to stop, so it's good that you have your parents.

I hope your father liked it!

Points: 18486
Reviews: 522

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Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:38 pm

Lavvie wrote a review...

Hi Nike. Lavvi in to review for you

This was an interesting twist you took to writing. I think I understand what you were trying to tell us, as the readers. However, there are some phrases/points I'd like to point out that aren't perhaps fitting to your short story.

one that sometimes cannot be named.

This is so contradictory because, not two sentences later, you label Alice as a writer, even though you just said it couldn't be named. Just sayin'

not very appreciated.

I beg to differ! xD I'm not taking any offense, but this is not terribly true. I mean, we're on a whole website that appreciates writing

Besides that, I liked this. It was interesting, as I mentioned above. However, I found this piece void of emotion, like you didn't put much thought into it. I realise that it is very short, but emotion can be inserted into the smallest of writing. Maybe expand on this? Write more about Alice and her nonsensical writing. I feel no attachment to Alice at all. I don't know her. And I want to know her. Sure, if you want to keep this piece short, go for it, but it's so short that I can barely latch on to it in any way.

Yours,
Lavvi

Points: 1276
Reviews: 378

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Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:19 pm

Soulkana wrote a review...

I loved this. It makes me sad for her but happy for her because of her parents. No writing is nonsense in my opinion XD. Good luck with this. I shall read more of your work soon ^^. Best of lucks and hope you have many reviews in front of you. Keep up the good work. Happy writing!!!!!!!!
Soulkana<3

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Alice

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