POD 30:3 -Tammy -On Both Accounts

Contains adult themes. Rated PG-13.

Philosophy of the Dark

Chapter 30:3

-Tammy

-On Both Accounts

Jamie drove herself to court that day, Tammy had arrived earlier. Amber was waiting outside the courthouse when she got there.

“Hey,” she said when Jamie approached.

“Hey,” Jamie said with a forced smile.

Amber fake smiled back, “Are you nervous?”

“Crazy nervous,” Jamie laughed. Short and abrupt, almost like a cry.

“I wish I could help,” Amber said.

“You’re here, aren’t you?”

“I guess,” Amber shrugged, “But it doesn’t feel very helpful.”

“It is, more than you know.”

They walked into the courtroom, it was mostly empty. A few people were

sitting in the benches near the front, Ortega was sitting with Jamie’s mom

and the doctors. Tammy was alone at the table.

Jamie sat at the table with her, Amber right behind her in the first row.

“Hey Jamie,” Tammy said without looking up from her pile of note cards.

“Hi, Jamie said, “this is Amber.”

“Nice to meet you.” Tammy’s voice was sharp and clipped. She still didn’t

look up.

“You to…” Amber said, raising her voice near the end of the phrase, making

it a question. She looked at Jamie, eyes full of question. Jamie shrugged

and turned to the front of the room.

Judge Vogel wasn’t there. To one side of the tall, raised desk stood a

police officer, on the other side a few jury members were either reading or

talking quietly to each other.

An hour passed and the room was filled. Everybody stood as Judge Vogel

entered the room, then sat as she did. The normal procedures occurred,

then finally Vogel looked Tammy in the eye.

“Ms. Ellis, you may call your first witness to the stand.”

Tammy stood up, shaking slightly. Only enough for Jamie to see.

“I would like to call up Jamie Dumont,” Tammy said. Jamie stood up, her

legs shaking visibly.

She was seated in a booth next to Judge Vogel, then she was sworn in.

“Ms. Ellis, you may begin,” Vogel said with a small wave of her hand.

Tammy stepped forward, looking Jamie straight in the eye, “Jamie, would

you please recount exactly what happened on the night of the incident.”

Jamie told the story exactly as it had happened, no lying, no twisting.

“You say there were previous accounts of abuse to both your mother and

you?”

“Yes,” Jamie said, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Would you please describe them to us.”

“It started when I was in middle school, seventh grade.” Jamie looked away

from her hands folded in her lap and tried to keep her eyes on

Tammy. “The first time he just slapped me, not hard enough for me to turn

red. A year later he did it again, harder. After that it escalated…there were

times when he would push me to the floor and…kick…” Jamie paused, not

for dramatic effect, but just because she had to. Talking about it made it

real again.

“Every time he got divorced he would think of a way for it to be my fault…

and I would be punished for it. Then I began to write it all down…” Tammy

gave Jamie a look, one that seemed pissed.

“In this book,” Jamie pulled the notebook out of her lap, “This was when it

started getting bad.”

***

Anger is a big thing here, especially to my father, and to him I

am the cure. I am what keeps him from destroying everything in sight, I

guess it could be seen as a noble thought. Don't destroy everything if you

can find one form of relief. That's the problem though, he's like a hammer

with pent up frustration looking for relief, and sometimes when you're

desperate all things begin to look like nails.

That's why she left.

She became nail number four, after me and mom.

He never beat her, but somehow I think she knew. She told me

she was leaving. I knew what this meant, and I was afraid.

The night she left is one I will never forget. It has burned itself

into my mind along with so many other nights when I had felt lost from the

world. So many other nights when I had no where to turn.

I was pinned to the ground his body holding me down. He

whispered threats to me, he told me to shut up. I held still and quiet as the

cold air rushed in through the open window. I pretended I was outside in

that air, breathing freedom. I pretended I was anywhere but there, trapped

underneath a man doing things to his daughter nobody believed a person

was capable of.

That wasn’t the first time. Every time he was angry for the next

few weeks I would find myself pinned to the rough carpet, breathing the

night air, wishing I were free. Sometimes even wishing I were dead.

***

There was tension in the air as she finished the reading. The room was

completely silent, everybody taking in every word. Jamie looked up from

the book, a few people in the crowd were crying. Tammy had tears in her

eyes, and even Judge Vogel had to try hard to keep a blank face.

Jamie scanned the other table, her mom was gone.

“That is all,” Tammy said. The plaintiff took the notebook from Jamie and

sealed it in a plastic bag.

“Mr. Ortega, you may now cross-examine the witness,” Vogel said.

“No thank you, your honor,” Ortega looked at Jamie. His cold blue eyes

holding the first emotions he must have felt in a long time.

Jamie walked down from the stand and made her way back to her seat.

Amber gave her a silent nod of sympathy as she sat down.

Tammy continued with her witnesses and evidence for the rest of the day.

Then court was over, there was only one day left until the verdict.

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Chapter Order:

33

30:3

34 (however many times)

30:4

35...Then back to normal.

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POD 34 -Voices

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