Young Writers Society

Philsophy of the Dark

Chapter 23

-Faded

-On both accounts

I never expected to end up here, on the outside looking in. Like my very own words my life is fading. Weather beaten, dehydrated from exposure, I'm slowly losing the fight to life. If only I could go back in time. Make sure he was dead, that way I would be locked up by now. Without having to hear the judgments, because they're okay when they come from the professionals, but they kill to hear from the people you trust.

I trust you, so I'm going to let you in on a little secret: Life sucks. Don't trust it for a second, because it has the tendency to twist the knife before pulling it out.

I'm telling you this so you don't make the same mistakes as me. I know I'm going to hell, it's looking for me right now, all I have to do is reach out.

I wish the right answer were that easy to find, reach out and you hold the knowledge, everything you need to know to live. But life would be awfully boring that way.

There's a short wait for me, the verdict will come, and I'll be ready for it. Hell, I'll go looking for it myself if I have to. Because it's this waiting that's making it suck.

I once said hell hath no fury like missed misery. Well, let's just say, Hell caught up.

And now, it's my turn.

***

“Amber, Natalie,” Jamie said as she stepped out of the tunnel, both of their eye's widened. Jamie was walking toward them with slow, intimidating steps, a slight smile playing on her lips.

“J-Jamie,” Amber stuttered.

“So glad you remembered,” Jamie said, taking another step toward them,

frozen and weak with fear.

They were afraid of her. The thought frightened Jamie, mostly because she

enjoyed it so much.

“How could we forget?” Natalie said, trying to play it cool. Jamie could

practically taste her fear, feel her anxiety.

“I know, what with my name all over the place now. 'Seventeen year old

student sends father to the hospital'. You must be so proud, what with me

being famous now. Or is it infamous?”

There was no reply, Jamie was now standing with her legs a few inches from

theirs, smoke from Natalie's cigarette was thick in the surrounding air.

Jamie took it from her, and pulled it up to her mouth, breathing in

shallowly. It was like inhaling fire, burning it's way down her windpipe and

into her lungs. It took everything she had not to cough it right back out,

instead she let it out slowly, controlling it until little by little it was finally

gone. Jamie dropped it to the ground, promising herself never to touch one

again.

Still nobody spoke, until Jamie broke the silence.

“You think you're lives are so hard,” she started out quietly forcing them to

lean in and listen, “I mean, you have to figure out where to get your

supplies. Amber you have to babysit the devil reincarnated as twins.

Natalie, you just keep fucking up with boys, in more than one way. Well let

me tell you a story.”

Jamie stepped closer to both of them, without changing the tone or volume

of her voice.

“Once upon a time, there was a little girl, who's parents were head over

heels in love. But then it wasn't enough, and the mother was caught in bed

with another man, and after a year of fighting the two parents split up. The

father had nowhere to go though, so as if to repay him, the mother let him

stay. At the very sight of the mother the father would loose control, and the

fighting continued, until one day the little girl couldn't stand it any longer.

"She went up to her bickering parents and begged them to stop fighting. Do

you want to know how they responded?

"The father hit her, square in the face. It was the first time, and the little girl

never forgot the pain. Internally or out. The mother didn't even care, you

know why? Because the man wasn't hurting her anymore.

"The fighting stopped, and eventually the father got remarried, but instead

of moving out, he stayed, bringing the new wife with him. It lasted four

months, until the little girl went up to the new wife and asked why she and

the father hadn't moved out yet. It was a valid question, which the new wife

couldn't answer. She left soon after. And guess who was blamed.

"For years it was like this, little hits here and there, verbal abuse. Slowly the

girls name was forgotten by her father, replaced with phrases such as 'little

bitch', and 'worthless piece of shit'. The mother never interfered.

Until one day, when the girl discovered an itch she just couldn't scratch, she

needed to be the causer of pain. Even to herself. And for the first time

ever, her mother was in full support.

“It just dawned on me too, how she never cared, it's almost funny just how

wrong I was. Even to this day, she doesn't care. I'm hated by my father for

never being good enough, hated by my mother for not being my father,

and now I'm hated by my friends for doing something about it. Accident or

no. So you can consider what I've said, or you can disregard it, either way, I

never want to see either of your pathetic faces coming to me with your

fucking problems. Ever again.”

Jamie's breathing had increased, and she ended the speech in a rage, with

tears falling down her face freely. Both Amber and Natalie were stunned to

silence.

“Jamie,” Amber tried reaching out. Jamie pulled back.

“No,” she said, “I don't need your pity.”

“It's not pity,” Natalie said.

“Then what is it?”

“Understanding.” Amber said, placing on hand on Jamie arm, only to have

her pull away again.

“Understand?” Jamie asked, astonished. “You think that by hearing that

you understand? You don't know anything about it! You know what? Have

some guy rape you, then send him to a hospital, only to be blamed. To

have everyone say that you were just too appealing. Or better yet. Have

your father use you shamelessly because he can't get it anywhere else,

then make him stop. And be sent to jail. Then maybe I'll listen to you

thinking you understand.”

Jamie turned and ran from both of them, not stopping until she got to her

car, tears blurring her vision making it nearly impossible to see. She drove

off without caring, leaving dust and tire tracks behind her for the last time.

POD 24 -Taken back by Darkness. Coming soon!!!!

HEY GUESS WHAT??? I JUST REACHED THE FIFTY PAGE MARK!!!=D