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Young Writers Society



POD 30:1 -Helpless (Rewrite)

by JC


:!: NEW CHAPTER! :!:

Philosophy of the Dark

Chapter 30:1

-Helpless

-On Both Accounts

Jamie was seated at her very own table in front of the crowd. The room

was filled, heat poured from everybody and if had been cold outside the

windows would have fogged up.

At the other table was Richards lawyer, Jamie's mom, and two doctors.

At Jamie's table there was empty space and false hope.

In the crowd there were various news reporters with their backs to everybody

as they spoke into microphones, telling millions outside of the room the

story.

Judge Vogel silenced the room with her gavel.“Would potential members of

the jury please come up to the front please,” she said.

Twenty people filed up to the front room where twelve were selected and

sworn in. Witnesses were also called up to be sworn in. The whole process

took over an hour. Jamie counted tiles on the floor and made it up to three

hundred and twenty-seven before Vogel began the trial.

“In the case of Jamie Dumont, on charges of Grievous Bodily Harm, how do

you plead?” Judge Vogel met Jamie's eyes.

“Not guilty,” she said.

“Miss Dumont, you have chosen to appear in court without a lawyer, am I

correct?” she asked.

“Yes, your honor.” Jamie said.

“And you were aware of the court's ability to supply you with one at the time

of your decision?”

“Yes.”

Judge Vogel nodded and looked down at her desk.

“Okay. Mr. Ortega, would you like to make any motions at this time?”

The man from the previous day, Mr. Ortega, snapped out of his daze and

answered, “No.”

“You are aware that this is the only opportunity you will be given?”

“Yes your honor.”

The plaintiff walked up to the stand where Vogel sat, she looked down at

him as he told her something too softly for the rest of the room to hear.

Judge Vogel looked up at a clock hung up on the wall.

“The court will now take a one hour lunch break. We will reconvene at one

o'clock pm.”

With one tap of the gavel the room stood up and began to clear.

Jamie spent the hour sitting just outside the room with a sandwich in her

hands, unable to eat away the butterflies.

A bell signaled the restart of the court, Jamie threw here uneaten sandwich

away and stepped back into the room, reclaiming her lonely table.

“Welcome back,” Vogel began, “We will continue our case on Jamie

Dumont.”

The door in the back opened as another news team walked in.

The Judge sighed, looking at Ortega as she did so, “Mr. Ortega, your

opening statement please,” she said.

Mr. Ortega stepped forward to the front of the room with an odd smile on

his face. A smile of victory.

“Yes, Your Honor.”

The room went silent, all except for the man banging at the keys of his

typewriter.

“Those of you who knew Richard,” Mr. Ortega began, “knew that he was an

honorable man. A good father, a loving husband.” A look was spared for

Jamie's mom.

“But yet he lies in a hospital, as we speak, trapped in a coma because of

Jamie Dumont. His very own daughter.

“Jamie claims 'not guilty'! For what? For sending her father to the hospital!

She claims she didn't do it, well there is indisputable evidence that she

pushed him over the banister, she wanted to cause him harm, she is

responsible for her actions! Jamie Dumont is guilty.”

Ortega straightened out his suit, holding his air of authority and victory.

“There are the facts,” he said, “Facts that prove Jamie's intent to cause

harm to her father. Facts that show, despite her accusations, that had not

stepped out of his lines of parenthood at the time of the incident.

“There is a witness who was there at the time, and saw that Richard holding

his daughter under control as she tried to cause physical harm to both her

and him in a rage. Earlier that day Jamie and Richard had gotten in a fight,

during which Jamie left, and Richard followed her with the intent to bring her

home. All of this can be testified by a witness.”

Ortega's voice began to rise as he continued, making him even more

intimidating.

“Jamie Dumont pushed her father down the length of over forty stairs, onto

a hardwood floor with intentions of causing him harm!”

The last of his statement rang through the silence of the room.

Mr. Ortega straightened out his suit again, thanked the audience, and went

back to his seat. Judge Vogel looked to Jamie next.

“Miss Dumont, would you please give your opening statement.”

Jamie stood up, her legs as useless as shivering toothpicks.

Lights shone in her face, hiding the audience, the room fell dead silent as

they waited anxiously for her words.

“Uh...” Jamie stuttered, her words as quiet as a pin drop, and just as

legally useful. “As I'm sure you all know, I plead not guilty,” and eloquent

start, still quiet, still useless. Somebody in the audience stifled laughter.

Jamie shut her eyes tight, willing herself to disappear, to explode, anything

to get away.

“But it's not because I didn't do it, I admit full responsibility for my

mistake. It's because I didn't intend to bring harm to him, I meant to get

him off of me. Self-defense.”

Ortega smiled, something wasn't right, Jamie could tell.

“Uh...That's all.”

Jamie took her seat alone at her table. There were no papers, no evidence,

not like on the other side. Multiple witnesses, a stack of papers and

evidence enough to prove the judge guilty.

In a court like this, Jamie had no clue, no legal mind, no hope now.

Here, she was helpless.

The room was still dead silent, Jamie dropped her eyes, refusing to look

away from the wrinkled material of her pants.

A snicker, silenced in the background, a million hearts shattered, one life

going down quickly, with no way back up.

“Your honor, may I ask the defendant some questions?” Ortega asked.

“Miss. Dumont, are you okay with that?” Vogel asked.

“Yes, I guess so,” Jamie said.

“Go ahead,” the Judge prompted.

“Are you saying that you accept responsibility for Richard Dumont's injury's?”

“Yes. I am responsible for his injury's, just as much as he is for mine.”

“What has he done to you? Do you have proof?”

“Not anymore,” Jamie said.

“So that's a no on proof. Is there anybody who can second your

accusations?”

“Yes, my mother.” Jamie said, looking across the room. Her mom was

staring straight ahead with a disciplined stare.

Ortega laughed, “Miss, your moms the reason you're in court.”

“What?”

“Mr. Ortega, please,” Judge Vogel tried to cut in for the first time.

“She told the cops that you did it on purpose She has your voice, on tape,

admitting that you wanted to cause harm to your father.”

“I never said anything like that!” Jamie said.

“Well you're not the one with the evidence.”

Three loud bands, and the room was silence, except for the ever clicking

typewriter.

“Please!” Judge Vogel said. “Now is not the time. This is a trial, not a

debate.”

The typewriter was silent for the first time.

“I'm sorry Your Honor,” Ortega said.

“That's all the time we have for today,” Vogel said, “We meet again

tomorrow at ten o'clock am.”

There was another strike of her gavel, and the room cleared once more.

:idea: POD 31- The First Step -On Both Accounts (Rewrite) NOW POSTED! :!:


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User avatar
2058 Reviews


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Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:05 am
Emerson wrote a review...



hmm...

Making court scenes readably enjoyable is almost impossible.

I just finish Dostoevsky's amazing novel, The Brothers Karamazov which I highly suggest you read before you die. They had a court scene, and as amazing as Dostoevsky is, it was still boring at points, but it was extremely well written. In fact, I suggest you go to your local book store/library, and read the find the section with the court scene (it isn't hard, the chapters are labeled in a pretty straight forward manner at that point) and read it. You probably won't get it and it will bore you but it's awesome :lol:

You'll need to fix this up...Who wants to read boring court ness? I don't! But thats my opinion...




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Fri May 18, 2007 3:20 pm
M.B.Author says...



Well, I am guessing you rewrote it, I didn't read the first draft. So I cannot say it was better then the first. But, it was good! It did feal real. Keep up the good work.

-- M.B.Author




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Fri May 18, 2007 4:17 am
JC says...



I know it's confusing, but I've removed the chapter numbers for the old chapters to make it a little more...intact???

Anyways, the following chapters should be easier.




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Thu May 17, 2007 6:52 pm
Alainna says...



This is a much better court room scene, very realistic!!! I hope I'm doing this in the right order...argh!

Alainna
xxxxxxxx




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Thu May 17, 2007 4:24 pm
Twit wrote a review...



Oh man, the rewrites and the chapter numbers are making this all confusing. Have I said this before? Sorry, anyway, the courtroom scenes sound very prof. Already I dislike Ortega. :razz:

-Twit




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Thu May 17, 2007 7:26 am
Insomnia wrote a review...



Well, you've got me a bit confused with with re-writes but I'll get it straight eventually lol.

Jamie threw here uneaten sandwich
away and stepped back into the room,

*her

Facts that show, despite her accusations, that had not stepped out of his lines of parenthood at the time of the incident.

After accusations, you seem to be missing a word somewhere. I'm not too sure what, maybe it should go: that he had?

hardwood

Maybe that's just how you say it where you live, but should that be hard wood(en)?

“Miss. Dumont, are you okay with that?” Vogel asked.

Nothing wrong here, but it sounds a bit odd, especially from a judge. :) They tend to use more confusing words lol.

Ortega laughed, “Miss, your moms the reason you're in court.”

*mom's

She told the cops that you did it on purpose She has your voice

*purpose. She has

Anyway, great Chapter. Hopefully we'll get some more of this soon. :D

-Mat




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Thu May 17, 2007 6:00 am
miyaviloves wrote a review...



You make the courtrooom seem real in this, I thin kyou have got everything right and It soiunds all very professionally done :P

Jamie threw here
-Just an extra e there :)

Other than that well done again!

Meevs
x





cron
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.
— Bishop Desmond Tutu