There are sayings
Round the Globe
People just Say
To make you feel low
Be it their
Their fortune
Favouring the bold
Or Doing it the way
They do in Rome.
A leopard can not change
His spots, however hard try he may,
And God helps you
If you help yourself, they say.
Never give up,
Prepare for the worst,
Hope for the best
And let the new broom wash away the dust.
They say
Not to throw stones
In glass houses, if you live
Not to waste time
As it waits for nobody.
Birds of the same colour
Together flock,
As
Blood is thicker
Than the water they want..
They say wait
Till Tomorrow,
Which wicked never comes
Live live to the fullest
As dead men tell tales none
Why do they say
Why do they speak
If they know
Too many cooks
Spoil the meal.
Too many cooks
Spoil the meal.
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Thanks for sharing this very interesting poem. It is a vey pleasant read both because of the rhyme and the way that the well-known sayings are given a unique twist. Seems a little similar to rap but not quite the same. I like how it seems to flow spontaneously and isn't laboriously tied down by any specific convention. I also like the inversion of word-order such as "dead men tell tales none."
Suggestions:
The introduction had me expecting to be shown sayings that people say to make others feel low. So I was surprised when the rest of the poem didn't follow through with the introduction. Because it doesn't and provides saying that are not motivated by hurting peoples feelings I would suggest another introduction.
Also, some of the sayings made me wonder about their meaning. For example, the reference to tomorrow never arriving because it is wicked? I had to pause to ponder that and still don't have a clue.
The following would be stronger with a question mark.
" ....if they know too many cooks spoil the meal[?]"
Greenteas and salutations my dear friend!
My name is GreenTea and I'm here to review! I hope none of the constructive criticism will be taken negatively and the positive comments will help inspire you to continue. Let's get into the review!
This is certainly an interesting take on a poem. I haven't seen a format quite like it! It's short and sweet and also a little confusing. I'm not sure what I should think of it but I think it's pretty cool. I'm kind of confused on why there are random capitals in the middle of the lines but maybe that's a stylistic choice? I like how your poem is so simple but it gives the reader something to think about. I like the fact that you used well-known sayings that others would recognize but in a new and interesting way.
Time for comments!
I like this. This is a strong but simplistic opening that really catches the readers attention. "What sayings?", "Why do people say them?", "Where around the globe?". One nitpicky thing I would change is to put an apostrophe before "round" because it's slang for "around".
I like how you switched the words around on this specific line. It still is the same meaning but it's different. I like it!
The way you used the repetition to end your poem gives it a good closer. Well done!
Well, that’s all I have for now! Hope I gave you a quali-tea review!
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Zàijiàn!
~GreenTea