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The Captain Of The Pearl

by Ishan212

You are the captain

The captain of the pearl

Sail across the seven seasĀ 

With nothing but a dark black curse

Fight Barbossa for the sake of Miss Swan

Deceive Angelica into the deserted island

Escape the royal prison with the help of a dog

Discover the heart of the dead pirate Jones

Walk like the drunk

But don't understand where the rum is always gone.

You are the captain

The captain of the Pearl.

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991 Reviews

Points: 117865
Reviews: 991

Thu Sep 03, 2020 5:44 am
alliyah wrote a review...

Looking for a fanfiction poem to review, and this one is just great! Haven't seen you on the site for a while Ishan - but hopefully you're doing well & will find this review.

So I think my favorite part is actually a formatting thing -> your poem gradually increases and then has about the same line length. Then the length decreases dramatically in "walk like drunk" and then instead of continuing to be short as expected this line "But don't understand where the rum is always gone" is super long -> I actually thought this had good comedic effect because the poem's form sort of wavers back and forth there like a drunk person stumbling around.

You fit a good number of Pirates of the Carribean references in here too which will is good to find in a fanfiction piece.

I think an area of improvement you might check on is fitting more pirate lingo into this and maybe even some rhyme to mimic the sort of sing-songy rhymy type poem that a pirate might sing. You'll find some lovely examples of pirate lingo in this SB here and you might even find it entertaining to read through if you like pirates!

Nice work here!


Happy Review Month!

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51 Reviews

Points: 161
Reviews: 51

Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:56 am
Ishan212 says...

A tribute to Captain Jack Sparrow

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206 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 206

Mon Oct 30, 2017 12:59 pm
DeerInBacPac wrote a review...

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started. :Caribbean

Yes, I know that this was posted a long while ago. I am still going to review it!

So, the first thing I notice is that a bunch of places are missing commas and thing alike. The spots missing commas would be "You are the captain", "Sail across the seven seas", "Fight Barbossa for the sake of Miss Swan", "Deceive Angelica into the deserted island", "Escape the royal prison with the help of a dog", "Discover the heart of the dead pirate Jones" and "Walk like the drunk". I must say, it flowed extraordinarily well and I loved the fact that this was a pirates of Caribbean themed poem!

Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, well, most of us that have seen the movies, we know what this is talking about. Its talking about how Jack. Wait no, there should be a captain in there somewhere. Captain Jack Sparrow and his....grand adventures at sea. From Davey Jones to the living dead, he had many grand times.

Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!

Ishan212 says...

Thanks a lot

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223 Reviews

Points: 3566
Reviews: 223

Sun Oct 29, 2017 11:05 pm
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ZeldaIsSheik wrote a review...

Hi, this is ZeldaIsShiek, here to review another amazing piece of literacy and beat the Werewolves once and for all! For the Witches shall win in the end! But before that happens, I am going to help you improve your writing as a whole and improve you as a Young Writer in the process. Of this I am certain. I like all literacy, regardless of what genre or subject it is falls under. When I review your work, this will become apparent to you. Are you ready? Let's begin the review!

I really loved how this poem was written, and I think you are a great poet for writing this masterpiece. It is very pirate-y and makes me feel like watching The Pirates of the Caribbean and pronouncing it wrong like a huge fan of the series would do. The name is actually quite ironic, since Captain Jack Sparrow's ship is actually called the Black Pearl. Could this be a reference to the movies, or is it the exact opposite of the Black Pearl? Is it the vessel that takes pirates out, or is it a pirate vessel? Either way, this poem is a great representation of pirate life and a metaphor for the life of someone who really likes Pirates of the Caribbean! I guess you're probably a fan... This whole poem seems like one big reference...

-ZeldaIsShiek, for the Witches to win!

ZeldaIsSheik says...

Oh, I just read the description! Awesome!

Ishan212 says...

Thanks a lot.
And yes I am a Pirates of the Caribbean fan.%uD83D%uDE00%uD83D%uDE00

ZeldaIsSheik says...

Haham, I feel stupid for not reading the description...

Ishan212 says...

The "%627372772" are just laughing emojis.
Nothing else.

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80 Reviews

Points: 5229
Reviews: 80

Fri May 26, 2017 6:01 pm
Jurelixranoanad wrote a review...

Hi, J here for a review.
If you changed a few words around to better acomadate the tense that you are going for, this would be a really great poem. It has description, emotion, and character, you have a talent for writing poetry and I hope to see you use it more. Great job this was definatly a Disney worthy poem.

Good Job and Keep Writing!!

Ishan212 says...

Thanks a lot

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68 Reviews

Points: 794
Reviews: 68

Fri May 26, 2017 5:49 pm
Midnightmoon wrote a review...

:D. Now for the review.

The first line, I would just say "Sailing" instead of "Sail," and "Fight" to "Fighting."
"Deceive" should be "Deceiving" and "into" should be "Onto." "Escape" to "Escaped."
"Discovered" instead of "Discover."

On this line, "Walk like a drunk,
But you don't understand where the rum is always gone,"

I would change "The" to "a" and "Where" to "why."

Other than that, I loved it!! I hope this helps. You have talent. Definitely. :D

Ishan212 says...

If was just a simple attempt.
I'm going to revise it and publish it again

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68 Reviews

Points: 794
Reviews: 68

Fri May 26, 2017 5:44 pm
Midnightmoon says...

Oh my gosh!!! I. LOVE. PIRATES. OF. THE. CARRIBEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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