Just a simple poem... ^_^ Hope you like it...
I won't love you forever.
I'd rather love you today,
praying that God allows me
to love you tomorrow as well.
I don't want to love you forever,
I want love you today.
Forever is just time
an indefinite term.
Time has watched people all along,
And we don't chain it 'cause we can't.
But it doesn't matter how important it is to us,
for it simply doesn't care who we are.
So I won't love you forever,
I'm gonna love you today.
'Cause when you think about it,
How long is 'forever' anyways?
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Canary word: Present
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137,609 Literary Works • 672,052 Reviews
I really like this, its sweet and makes me smile. The only thing I'd say other than the few things from what others said was instead of "anyways" at the end I would simply make it "anyway" I don't know but it would sound better I think. Overall I liked it.
A very well thought out, pretty and short poem. Only editing it once more would do the trick. I liked how it was about love. That is my favorite thing to write about but it lacked imagery, and vocabulary.
This reminds me a lot of this poem I read called I Won't Promise You Forever, or something like that. However, I thought that one was really dumb, and I liked this one. xD
This isn't really a review. Sorry. haha
Good job!! I loved reading this, it may be simple but it makes you think!!
I loved this part!!
Because it was the perfect way to start off your poem and the ending was the perfect way to end it. Unfortunately I can't answer your question.
I like the lines 'I won't love you forever, I want to love you today.' Although it can be changed to 'I'd rather love you today' if you like. But anyways, overall it's good. They message you're trying to convey is understandable. So hats off to you!
Beautiful!
Ouuuuuuh! This was GREAT!
Im afraid i have no corrections to make! xD
I liked it very much!
The last paragraph made me smile!
Happy writing! x
Hahahaah! Thanks everyone. <333
Everyone else has already pointed out the few grammatical issues and so on so I guess I'm free to simply say I loved it. I found this poem to be beautiful. It was both sweet and to the point. I don't think a person could ask for much more than that XD
hi Sloth!
This is kind of repeating the first to lines. Don't you think?
<3
I like it, but I am kind of confused what it has to do with the rest of this poem.
Perfect ending. Just replace that h with an H and you'll be golden.
This is a very nice, simple poem, that says what it needs to say beautifully. I loved it.
i like your first stanza
I like this a lot. It brings a very nice question.
Everyone above has taken care of the grammar and stuff, so I like the flow and the length. It's not too long. I hate long poems. They usually suck. Yay for straight-forwardness!!!!!!
And I also have to commend you for liking your own work. you don't see that too often, but it's a sign that you have pride in your work- that's good.
You can't expect others to like it if you don't like it, yourself. Ultimately that's what matters, right?
Nice Job, swola swola!
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-Jojo
Hello!
First things first, I really liked what you were trying to say in the poem. I think that it was a really sweet concept.
However, I do think that you can go on about why loving someone in the present is better than loving someone forever. You told us a bit about forever and how it's basically meaningless since we don't know what it is anyway. But, why don't you tell us a little bit about the present as well. Tell us why it's so much better to love in the present.
And a nitpick which w0lfbane has picked out:
Another thing I'd like to mention for that line is, I found that line a bit strange because it didn't complete the sentence at the end like all of the others are. I think that it wouldn't hurt if you rephrased it a bit better so that every line has a sense of completion.
Overall, I think that you have a pretty good poem. The meaning of it was awesome and the general flow was pretty good as well (although I think that you could be able to improve that by rhyming, but I know that rhyming is pretty hard. So, don't worry about that too much). A poem well written. Keep it up!
Good job although I spotted a grammar mistake:
Either one of the two should fix it
Hey Sol!
That is a very good question, by the way... :/
I like this poem, that it's short and sweet. It flows pretty well for the most part, and is not too elaborate. I am not sure if more imagery could be added without ruining it, but if it can, maybe you should give it a try
That's it from me
Nice poem loves!