Pearls of light bloomed from the vines
that embraces my Christmas tree.
In the darkness of my living room,
it's all my eyes can see.
The same songs from twelve months ago,
the radio plays again.
But it makes most people happy;
no one critiques or complains.
The smell of hot cocoa dances,
breaking through the cold.
But it looks like the season didn't bring magic within,
I could open lots of boxes, but I won't find it in a gift.
My mind keeps on repeating
your last words, like a remix.
And on the sofa, I try to decipher,
why have you played with me.
I'm standing in front of my favorite scene,
but my eyes get blurred by tears.
The lights now look like fire,
it's like you've burnt my Christmas tree.
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139,269 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Great Job! The only thing is why would any one burn a CHristmas tree!In the part when you say
shouldn't it be I won't Find in a gift? I think that is the only thing that is wrong. I almost cry in the last paragraph, because I would never burn a Christmas tree! You did a gret JobLili
Thanks, people<3333
Your poem is awesome! It's the perfect Christmas love catastrophe. The way you described the tree was really unique. I especially liked these lines:
I love the way you brought the poem around in a complete circle, starting with the tree and ending with the tree.
Great job with this poem!!!
I read it, and laughed on the inside all the way through, then out loud at the end. I'm not sure why I laughed, maybe because there was christmas music playing in the background. I could tell that this was emotional, but it was so well-written and so accurate a portrayal of christmas that it almost felt like satire.
Definitely keep writing!
Wow! That made me feel so good at home, and I can't wait for Christmas. The last part though, that was harsh. It would be really sad burning down a Christmas tree. Who would ever do that?
I think you probably meant to say "but I won't find in it a gift".I really liked it though!
Although I didn't really get the meaning of the sentence:
Anyway, that was really good, the last part almost brought me to tears but, congratulations!
Alfonso =)
Me fascino! (creo que se esbribe asi) Este poema te quedo super chevere; de la forma que lo escribiste (primero explicando tu arbol, despues la falta del espiritu navide~o y luego dando una vuelta y terminando haciendo una conexion entre tus dos temas). Pero lo mayor que me gusto fue que nos comunicaste claramente como el escritor(a) sintio cuando lo escribio.
Cuidate,
Chris
Wow. I seriously have you to thank for my Christmas spirit this year, really!
This line?
"I could open lots of boxes, but I won't find it in a gift. "
Amazing. Seriously, definitely, astonishingly, incredibly, doubtlessly perfect.
It was beautiful, the edges were tinged with nostalgia (my new favourite word) and it flowed together like a river. (how's that for simile!)
Anyway, the thing I picked up was the last line:
it's like you've burn my Christmas tree.
Should it be 'burnt'?
I wouldn't know. I'm not a poet.
But gosh, you are.
NightWriter x
VALLLLLLL!!!!! Good to have you back dearest! I have long been awaiting to be the first to review some of your famous poetry! And the rumors don't disappoint. This is a fine piece of work that you have compused which is why you have won a rare "like" from your good friend tucker. <3
Anyways! I really love this piece because of 1: the strong emotion 2: the fantastic imagery. 3: the amazing description. You have taken every aspect of what I look for in poetry and combined it into one! EXCELLENT WORK! The first stanza is by far the best!
"Pearls of light bloomed from the vines
that embraces my Christmas tree."
I love that line so much. Just the blooming and the embracing are so perfectly put into here. My only tiny tiny nit pick i have is this:
"I could open lots of boxes, but I won't find it in a gift."
This is a great line but it seems a little long and out of place. Maybe try on making this a little smaller and then your good!
All and all this was fantastic! Keep up the good work val!!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo TuckEr EllsworTh