No, I don't need mental help! What I've done to him is well deserved.
He answered before I even finished asking, he simply shook his head. He joined two innocent and beautiful letters to create a word that upset me: No.
He said “No!” The most callous answer, and he seemed so confident.
How could he? I mean, can't he understand what I'm going through? When you want something but you just don't have any hope left, 'cause you already tried everything.
Was it that hard to use a longer word? Maybe a “yes” with three dots would've work better for me. Or maybe for both of us, 'cause right now he's locked in the closet until he decides to tell me what I want to hear.
I just need a little cooperation from him, if that happens we'll find peace, not only for us and my uninspired mind, but also for the people around us. My life would be complete, but right now something's missing. I'd be so happy if he'd only agree with me. And he will, otherwise this will be war, until that day when he gets all excited after hearing the “I do”, wearing a tie and shinning shoes.
I'm not desperate. Okay? Sometimes you want something, and sometimes you need something. Do you see the difference there?
And don't try to convince me, I'm not insane! I won't let my neighbor, Drake out of the closet! Either way, if he stays there, it'd be for only three days, 'cause I know his big sister, Liza will reclaim him, she want him to be on the big event.
All I wanted was an idea to write down. Was that too much to ask? This stupid writer's block won't go away, and it's making me do things I really don't want to do.
I'm pretty sure it all happened because my pen, Mr. Lucky is no more. I hate to admit it, but it went out of ink. It was a sad story. But this lack of inspiration is even sadder. Do I really have to wait for Liza's wedding with my fingers crossed, hoping to get some real inspiration?
I might get some good ideas as soon as they notice Drake is missing. I can already hear the bride saying that my life as a writer has no limits.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,269 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Hhahahahah! Thanks, Noelle! <3
Hi there!
This was a very interesting piece to say the least. It was good though because it made me think. Well, it confused me as I read along, but I had to think hard about what was going on. First, I thought the narrator had asked him to marry her, but he said no. And then I wondered why she would lock her love in a closet for three days. Once I got past that part, I became utterly confused until I reached the part about writers block. That was when I had the 'aha!' moment and finally realized what this was supposed to be about. I enjoyed it.
Keep writing!
Well, now I'm confused, because when I read this it all made perfect sense. Then I saw it was suposed to be confusing.... Now I'm wondering why I understood it. Anyway, you had some missing commas and such, so read through it again. Other than that, it was great. And he was saying no he didn't have any ideas to give you, right? So you locked him in the closet? I'm curious, is this a true story?
I thought that was funny! You did good on it. There are tidbits of grammar problems, like where you should have added an "s" but you didn't. It confused me a bit. I didn't understand what the 'no' was about. It was an entertaining story nontheless actually. I liked it.
Hey, Sol.
I like confusing when I write it. The last couple of pieces of short fiction I posted on here got everyone going "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?" At the time I was like, "Gosh, you guys, can't you see what I'm trying to say?" and took none of their advice because OBVIOUSLY they just weren't smart enough, right? But now I know that they had a point.
If I'm writing something and posting it on YWS, it's because I want to improve it. If I want to improve it, I must be improving it for someone (because I think it's good when it comes out, yeah? haha). If I'm improving it for someone, then there is a reader. If there's a reader, I do not want that reader walking away without being able to understand anything I've just thrust upon them, because then what is the point? They might as well not have read the piece and would have gotten as much. Is that what you want people to say about your writing?
In short, I think this piece is something that is only for you. You understand everything that's referenced and can laugh at it, but you give us nothing. You made no attempt to make it understandable to other people, so why post it here?
It doesn't make me feel your message of "nothing is what it seems". It makes me uninterested because I can't identify with anything you've given me except the vague idea that you're going through some kind of writer's block. But you haven't made me care even about THAT (except just automatically because I'm a writer). If someone who is not a writer read this, they would connect with even less.
Hmm. Anyway, I hope you get your inspiration back soon. ( : Sometimes writing stuff like this helps get all the blockage out of the way, just by practicing writing, and then we get back on track. So it's good that you're writing this. It just doesn't mean it's meant for other people to read. ;D
Hannah