Here's a poem about a stalker. I wrote it for fun and... it's supposed to be funny. xD Lol.
He knows almost everything about me.
My name, my beliefs, where I go to school,
Who's my crush, my mom and what I consider cool.
He knows when I was born,
when I'm doing homework or going to bed.
He knows I like chocolate, sunflowers,
and that I'm always late.
He knows almost everything I do.
Where I go and when I leave.
Actually, he knows what I'm doing right now;
Procrastinating, watching T.V.
He keeps refreshing my profile's URL,
Hoping to see any update.
He knows what I think and when I feel loved,
I change my status to let him know.
Yep, my dear stalker knows some things.
I can see him from my window looking at my pics.
I'm his new neighbor and I could watch him day and night,
I bet the creep doesn't know that.
P.S. Don't worry guys, I don't have neighbor stalker... I think. e.o
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Canary word: Present
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139,704 Literary Works • 672,657 Reviews
I liked it ,pretty funny actually and obviousely other people do to so ,keep up wiriting.
Awesome! Although I don't think you need the "and" in the second to last line.
I absolutely loved this poem, it's good to see a bit of comedy in poetry. Keep writing!
Sish
Great job I really like this poem!!! Its very creepy at the thought of having a stalker.
I really liked this, akwardly. But it was really good, I didn't really see the humor, but it was a good and a unigque poem. I've never hear anything like this before. But I liked it, I mean teh stalking part was kind of creepy but it is the grammar we're looking for and when I looked it was good!
You shoudl keep on writing abotu stalkers or even unicorns. Also I am glasd you donm't (think) you have a stalker. 
lol good luck! Keep on writing becuas eyoru way is very unique, I like a wide imagination. 
I really love your poem; I think it's hilarious! I like how at the end, you were more of a stalker than he was! Nice job turning the tables on us! Though I noticed it kind of stopped rhythmic after a while, but it's still good!
My best friend has a sort of blog thing called The Stalker Club--We don't actually stalk people, just kind pretend-stalk friends by jumping out from behind a tree or whatever and scaring them on the way to school. Or mock-follow them in the hallway acting like a ninja. (Yeah, we're pretty crazy.)
That sort of thing.
Only our friends actually read it, you're supposed to annoy the crap out of one person per week.
Anyway, she thinks this poem would be great to post on it. We wouldn't claim it, we'll put your name on there. I thought it be better to ask you permission first:
Would it be okay?
Hahaha! Yea, it's an idiotic stalker you got there. Too much ego to not notice that you're watching him too.
I loved it!
Hi.. Well firs off, You got what you wanted.. probably (that's my guess..) You must have wanted people to laugh on reading this.. and guess what, You got it!! I was laughing very hard and my bro was shouting at me shut up!! It was very well written.. Loved It!!! good job once again!!
Harshita:)
Nevar. Seriously though, she's been following me around for three years. First year, I figured she was a loner in need of a friend. Second year, I decided she was a lesbian or a bisexual with a crush on me. Third year, this year, I came out as bi, and caught her staring at me in the locker room multiple times and being "extra friendly", i.e. following me more, then deciding that the second idea IS in fact the case. She transferred to my art class. My problem is that she has no friends and is super nice, despite the super creepiness. It's like kicking a parasitic puppy. T_T
NUUUUUUUUUH! Post it! D8< NAO!
Darn you, Sol. I was going to post "Letters to my Stalker" (my ACTUAL stalker) but now it will look like I'm copying you.
Hello, m'dear. Nice poem you got here. I can see you really meant it to be funny. It was funny.
OK, there was only one line I wasn't sure was grammatically right:
From what I can see, is that it has two gerunds; and I don't even know if that's possible! I know what you were trying to tell, but I'm just not quite sure because of the sentence itself.
My favorite line here would be:
It's epically funny. I could relate to that. Whoopz! I mean, a lot of Fb'er and YWSers would.
So, this was all in all, light to read, funny, and not to mention fun. I like the simplicity of it. The only nitpick I have of it, is the way you capitalize a line even though you used a comma in the previous sentence. And then, at some parts you didn't apply that.
See? But that's pretty much it.
Well, that's good! Phew!
Jash
Hahaha.. This made my day... Thankz and keep it up.
Haha! This was really comedic and awesome.
I only found one place that needed a comma, and other than that, your story is awwwesome.
You shouldn't have changed the title! You made it so obvious! lol XD
Great job solly!
i love the twist
First of all, it's pretty awkward that you have a stalker. Wait do you really? Great poem either way. Everything looked great, punctuation, grammar, etc. I could really step inside your shoes and feel what you were feeling, considering that you were so descriptive, there was no guess and check mystery about what you were feeling when you wrote this... Nice writing either way!
~Fortiii!
This was funny! I do wish you had rhymed more; it could have turned this from amusing to hilarious. As other reviews have pointed out, it needed a little editing. That said, this was really enjoyable. Good job!
This totally made my day! Really creative and fun, while it was well written too. It was amusing, and funny! I enjoyed reading it!
YO!
....I meant to review this earlier. XP
I'd write it "..who's my mom/who my mom is", but that's just me and my repetition.
That, or take out the "who's" in front of "crush" to make it consistent.
I feel you kinda lose rhythm and rhyme here, but it's still a good stanza.
The next-to-last line feels like it has too many syllables to me.
Also, you might wanna put a hyphen after "procrastinating."
He can read minds?! O.o
I love using slang, but the yep seems out of place here.
And I'm like, "Where'd the rhyme go???"
Overall, this was pretty good. Honestly, it wasn't one of my favorites, but it's humorous and fairly well-written. Good job.
He knows almost everything about me.
My name, my beliefs, where I go to school,
Who's my crush, my mom and what I consider cool. ''Who's'' is a contraction of 'who is' so it sounds like a questionin your line
He knows when I was born,
when I'm doing homework or going to bed.
He knows I like chocolate, sunflowers
and that I'm always late. This ending throws me off because you didn't carry on the rhyme from the last stanza.
He knows almost everything I do.
Where I go and when I leave. I like this line
Actually, he knows what I'm doing right now;
Procrastinating (comma) watching T.V. The rhyme is magically back? are you doing ABACAD (or now that I think about it, it would be ABAB, wouldn't it? I feel dumb..) pattern with your stanzas?? I recommend you keep up the same rhyming scheme with every stanza.
He keeps refreshing my profile's URL,
Hoping to see any update. 'any update' sounds clumsy
He knows what I think and when I feel loved, You don't post everything you think, do you?
I change my status to let him know. 'stalker' is usually has a negative connotation, why are you encouraging him with your updates?
Yep, my dear stalker knows some things.
But, I can see him from my window looking at my pics.
I'm his new neighbor and I could watch him day and night,
I bet the teenage creep doesn't know that. ending with a rhyme would've really helped you out I think, it comes off lackluster to the reader without a quirk or rhyme.
I reallly loved your idea here, keep up the creativity! And keep writing!
-KatTrain
This made my day! I loved it.
Cheers,
Luxe
Awesome poem! Made me laugh.
It also made me wonder how the narrator actually felt about her stalker (I'm going to assume the narrator is female here). Was she just as infatuated with him? It seems like they have a bit of a messed up relationship. Stalkers are generally seen as bad news, but she isn't really doing anything to stop him from stalking her.
It's like she is updating just for him.
The way she calls him "dear" is like she holds some affection for him.
I'm not sure if she's just stating that she can see him all the time, or if she means it in a smitten kind of way. Like she could spend an entire day just watching him.
But then she calls him a "creep", which probably means she doesn't like him very much. Then again, why isn't she stopping him from stalking her!?!
I like how her feelings aren't exactly clear, and how you kind of flipped the whole stalker and "stalkee" relationship on its head. The stalker is now the one being stalked. Lol. It made for an interesting read
hellooo my SOLLYPLUSHIEEE!!!!!!
I'm going to review this..well actually I'm just going to say that I like it!! XD
This made me crack up! =D
Favorite part:
loool XD
..Let's hope he doesn't stalk you yeah
nice write!!
-qaralynn-
Solz! You've done it again. Written something hilarious, entertaining and undoubtedly brilliant! Loved every line of it. Made me wonder if my parents are actually stalkers now. Hehe. Great work again, Tolz.
Hi,
But you know what I mean.... What I liked was that she (I'm assuming the person's a she) knows almost everything her stalker knows and even the things he doesn't know, so its actually she who's the stalker. I'll point out the insignificant stuff now,
I thought it was funny that the person who's being stalked is actually stalking the person who's stalking the first person. Sorry, I confused myself.
I feel the poem would be so much better of it had more rhyming.Maybe it's just me, but there is a little rhyming here and there and those are the lines that I liked the most.
Hi there, Sol!
I must say, I've having to nitpick to find anything wrong with this review. It was very amusing, and the twist was very well thought out.
What I particularly liked.Grammar error/Something I think should be removed.
[quote="Solvalery"]He knows almost everything about me.
My name, my beliefs, where I go to school,
Who's my crush, my mom and what I consider cool.
He knows when I was born,
when I'm doing homework or going bed.
He knows I like chocolate, sunflowers
and that I'm always late.
He knows almost everything I do.
Where I go and when I leave.
Actually, he knows what I'm doing right now;
Procrastinating watching T.V.
He keeps refreshing my profile's URL,
Hoping to see any update.
He knows what I think and when I feel loved,
I change my status to let him know.
Yep, my dear stalker knows some things.
I can see him from my window looking at my pics.
I'm his new neighbor and I could watch him day and night,
I bet the teenage creep doesn't know that.[/quote]
Good job, very funny!
Hey, Sol.
(If I was faster, this review was supposed to be the first lol xD)
Nitpicks:
- I think that there should be a comma after 'Procrastinating'.
- It sounded here like the persona intentionally 'changed her status to specifically let him now'. Was that really what you meant?
What I found funny about this is the fact that she knows everything her stalker is doing and what he knows about her XD
The first part of this poem seemed pretty boring. She only said things I, as a reader, would normally expect from stalkers. But the 'twist' in the end made up for it.
Another thing is, you stopped making rhymes after this seemingly forced rhyme:
It seemed a little strange to notice that the poem stopped rhyming. You need to be careful with your rhymes.
Never stop writing!
P.S.
Feel honored! This is the first time I used font colour in my review! lol
Haha! I liked this. It made me laugh through the whole thing. This was entertaining and funny. Great job. Keep Writing!!