I couldn't shed a tear that day
It all dried up that day.
My body stood still
My heart couldn't feel
The shock that I got
When they shot
The dearest one in my life
The securities just like bee
Came out of the hive
Just the joke to see.
Is it really a joke?
A person can not be a joke!
Is ‘humanity’ a game?
It's seriously a matter of shame
That the present condition of politics
Is worse than the past world wars
Which shook the world.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hi!
I enjoyed reading this, it's an interesting way to talk about politics. You used an analogy that I found interesting.
I was a little confused with the part "when they shot". Who was being shot, I think that would be something good to ease into your poem. Of course, this is a suggestion, I'm not forcing you or anything!
My favorite line was "Is ‘humanity’ a game?". How in the world did you come up with that? Throughout the poem, it shows character and your feelings about politices.
I hope you keep writing!
Signed,
Pineapples
Thanks for the review
This is quite realistic not gonna lie, it kind of shows the turmoil with the mood you created with several poetic devices associated with sound. Although, I don't get one thing in the poem's story actually, is the bee hive and everything else implying to someone getting shot?
I am still trying to understand the poem a little by little, but overall I really like your poem writing style.
Thanks for the review! By the hive, I meant a building near the incident place.
Ohhhhh, got it, thanks!!!