Simple and blunt and short and yet effective. When seen on upon the first time, this poem is kinda memorable because of the color palette. Not something you’d see everywhere...
Anyways.
The way you begin is not doing anything out of the ordinary or anything, but it works. You really set the whole tone of your poem in these two lines. And strangely enough, your poem doesn’t even seem to lack description- even though it does- since the rest keeps us hooked all along. The middle stanza is just as the first. Not stunningly perfect or bad- just alright. It does give us a feeling like “whoa- is that really what happens??” and it’s probably the one I read twice the most- since it’s weirdly vague and complex and simple at the same time. The last one isn’t just a nice way of ending; no imagery, but a great mind reeling last catchphrase. This could easily become one’s favorite. If I had to suggest something, it would be to add imagery and comparison
Points: 0
Reviews: 109
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