Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Politics

E - Everyone

powerless

by manilla


how it feels to be sickeningly powerless is a curse, but

this is where we stand.

in the heat of the moment, the tension builds, the oceans swell.

i can feel the cloud of smog smothering me--

it chokes us all.

in my veins, there run chemicals, plastics:

are we losing what it means to be human?

x

they are afraid to listen to the voices of thousands, millions,

the children on this planetĀ 

who are to suffer the consequences,

of ignorance and customs that cannot withstand the tide of time.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
42 Reviews


Points: 8
Reviews: 42

Donate
Wed May 08, 2019 5:52 am
View Likes
seekingthetruth wrote a review...



wow. That was a poem that spoke a truly desperate and harsh message about climtate change. not many people can write something persavie that is good but this my friend is one of the best I have seen on here all week because it is promoting the dangers of what humanity is doning to the earth. it speaks the truth and I think people right now need the truth because no one knows what damage is done.


I loved the structure very nicely laid out, liked the violent message


work on: adding a rhyme scheme will make it more powerful




manilla says...


Thank you! This is part of the freeverse style but I appreciate your comments.



User avatar
21 Reviews


Points: 623
Reviews: 21

Donate
Sun May 05, 2019 8:24 am
View Likes
Leviari wrote a review...



Hello!

This poem is amazing and... surprising. I love that you decided to reveal the true theme only at the end. At the begin I thought you were just describing the feeling of being powerless in the face of life's struggles, but then you added a very swift twist clarifying that you were referring to environment issues all along.

I like how you structured it, how you lined the verses and the words in italics, the rhetorical question ("are we losing what it means to be human?").

"how it feels to be sickeningly powerless is a curse, but
/this is where we stand/."
I was very touched by these first lines. By structuring it the way you did, the sentence "this is where we stand." came across very powerful.

The last stanza is killer!

Thank you for writing about such a relevant matter and in such a beautiful way.




manilla says...


Thank you for your review <3



User avatar
114 Reviews


Points: 7140
Reviews: 114

Donate
Sat May 04, 2019 5:28 pm
View Likes
FabihaNeera wrote a review...



Hello,

This is really well written! I love the message your have here, and it's portrayed so strongly in every line. Your words sort of dance around the topic of our world today, and I think it gives more than enough to the reader for us to really ponder over. I feel like a lot of us don't even think about these sorts of disasters in our world today, so it's really great that you were able to write on such a realistic topic and express it in your own creative way. With italics, you added a lot of emphasis on the right lines that really give us deeper meaning. In the line, "are we losing what it means to be human?" This is a nicely worded question that connects with me, and likely a lot of other readers, on a deeper level.

the children on this planet

who are to suffer the consequences,


I especially like these lines a lot because now you are connecting this idea to the passing of time, with maybe the next generation of children who will see our world as it is now. This really drives in tbe idea of how ignorant humanity is now to be leaving our world like this for future generations.

Anyway, that's all from me! I didn't see any prominent mistakes in this poem.. . I just think the idea is really well conveyed and I hope to read more!

Keep Writing. :)




manilla says...


Thank you for your kind review!




You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.
— Joyce Meyer