A/N: This is the product of a late-night worry I had regarding the current relationship between my father and I. The quality is hopefully better than what I've written in the past, but I'm just happy because this poem gave me release.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Oh, wow.
My father and I have had a troubling relationship, too, so I understand the mindset that produced this piece.
here's a sense of dread that comes with the wording, a line that sticks out to me is "When Father snaps my quill like sticks" because of the way you used future tense. The changing rhyme scheme is another source of uneasieness, like you're afraid to put too much weight in one spot in case it collapses.
Very powerful writing, and I wish you safety in your future travels.
Oh my gosh...
This stuff is very...dark.
I like how you used such descriptive imagery, but not to the point where it is explicitly dark and graphic and disturbing. That’s a skill that will come in handy as a writer for sure.
I also am a little...concerned. You said that this is based off of your reality...?
If you ever need to talk to someone, please let me know, I’d love to help you! <33
Thank you for your concerns and comments - I'm meeting with a social worker regularly for my mental health, don't you worry