A/N: A quickie written in @Alliyah's poetry workshop!
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a good type of emptiness,
where my mind empties
thoughts to confess,
spilling out the seven seas with an ease
unparalleled, unseen before.
an imaginary saline, warm breeze
wraps me in a feeling of rarity i cannot ignore,
for this is my contentment-
i must restrain it before it flees.
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140,071 Literary Works • 672,990 Reviews
Hello there manilla.
I am kostia and I will be giving you a brief review and my honest opinion on this poem.
I will start from the title. It really captured my attention and I thought it was simply perfect for this poem.
Even though your poem was brief and quick as you mentioned in your note, it was very well structured, with engaging vocabulary and a deep meaning.
I will disagree however with the other two reviews since I wouldn't include the imagery as a characteristic of this poem. There is some imagery in it, however it is hardly one of its main aspects.
To me this was more of an emotional piece with philosophic aspects in it.
Your vocabulary was smooth and nicely put and combined. I have not noticed any grammar or spelling mistakes.
To be honest I wouldn't change anything about this poem. I really liked it. It was brief but complete and full of meaning. This is very hard to do, so well done!
My favourite part was the ending.
"for this is my contentment-
i must restrain it before it flees."
I loved the repetition of the title! Very powerful ending!
That's all I had to say about your poem! I loved reading it. Great job!
Keep writing
Best regards
Kostia
I really loved the imagery that just flows through this! The rhyme scheme really helps it flow too, and the layout of the poem just added to the sense of it escaping and trying to flee. The use of punctuation helped seem liked you were trying to restrain it by stopping the reader with short pauses at the commas and full stops!
Hi manilla,here for a review.
The poem ,as it is a good one.The imagery that the poem provides is subtle and concise.The structure in which the poem has been written is unique but I think you add a little more regularity to boldly and prominently present the rhyme scheme.
The title and the whole expression of the is amazing,a more consistent structure could certainly help in making the meaning of your work more profound.Great poem all in all and you have an amazing word choice.
Hope this helps and congrats on such good work.