note - it's not meant to sound finished, because the reason why i write is still being unfolded itself
--
act i.
wistful thinking is still thinking
a pen to paper is still a mark on the world.
words are power i pretend to have
they are a voice of mine i pretend is heard
a painful silence i pretend is filled.
act ii.
isn't writing like alcohol?
says a one that has never drank.
the way you love the burn
but in the end you still remember
act iii.
writing is art
the way passion ebbs, overflows
distinctive memories painted on canvas,
scraps of hope and thought cut and pasted together.
hearing a tale spun of gold is music to one's ears.
creativity is done with carefully-placed nuance
writing is my art.
act iv.
why do you write?
why do you take the simple written word as your shield
the pen as your weapon?
although as if, writing itself ceases vulnerability
why do you write, put yourself out into the world?
why you write comes to everyone, slowly
or there is no reason to seek it at all
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I like the first line within the poem. "they are a voice of mine i pretend is heard," I like this line, but I feel like it can be rephrase a little better, so it flows much nicer. I like the act parts, but feel that this one "act iii" is rather unnecessary. (Not the stanza but the word.) "Now I like the description that these lines give writing is art
the way passion ebbs, overflows
distinctive memories painted on canvas," i feel as if a few words are missing from it, but it's rather nice. Otherwise this is a very nice poem.
This is very well written. The only things I have to say are that the "act 1, 2, 3, 4" seem unnecessary. Is there a specific reason why you put those there?
There is a punctuation error (I think) in the line "Although as if, writing itself ceases vulnerability". I think the comma should be placed after "although". So it would read as "Although, as if writing itself ceases vulnerability". Other than that it is a good poem and a good topic. Happy writing!
thanks for the review!
((the "acts" were different stages of my thinking creating this piece.))
Hey, farie here with a review....let me just say how passionate this poems seems, and i love that! It’s adorable and it makes me smile when i read the mystery you set up in the beginning. This made me want to read this when I saw it in the Literary area. The things you put like “the pen as your weapon” is pretty deep and very creative. I heart that!!! Keep writing!!!!!
thank you for the review C: