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Dear Confidence

by manilla


Dear Confidence,

For the times that you've let me down

And for the times that you were there, 

I would like to thank you

And remove that thanks shortly afterward.

-

Dear Confidence,

Do you recall when you left me in the storm?

I was ten years old, weak, unstable, unsure

I remember watching the tears pour down.

There was nothing better do, or so you had

Made me think.

-

Dear Confidence,

Does the memory of submitting that story remain?

Does the sensation of winning a gold linger?

You gave me the will to push on 

From my doubts and those who doubted me.

-

Dear Confidence,

Why were you there when I least expected it? 

Why were you there when I needed you most?

Will you be there for me in the future? 

And before you go, what does it hold?


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Tue Jun 12, 2018 1:44 am
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alliyah says...



An interesting idea to write a poem as a series of letters to confidence. I like the concept quite a bit and also how the narrator grew as the poem went on! One suggestion would be to maybe intersperse more personification of confidence between the questions to give "confidence" almost a character in itself? Nice piece though!




manilla says...


Thank you, Alliyah! Your comment is in my consideration!



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Mon Jun 11, 2018 1:09 pm
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LanaOverland wrote a review...



Hey

I really like this for one.

I'm gonna start with the first section: very good inspirational quote voice especially with the punchline at the end. I like that you stay in the voice even with the funny last line. Kind of reminds me of like a year book quote. I have no critiques here.

2: I'm gonna be honest I thought the last line was a little weak. The way you've written this makes it seem like all of the sections are separate poems written in series. So although I know this is a turning point in the way you talk about confidence in the series of mini poems the poem starts out so intense with a great image that makes this great metaphor with the storm. And maybe it was the switch in tone from the metaphor voice to the cliffhanger voice but it really broke up my favorite mini poem in this "series" (I'm putting series in quotes cause I doubt that was your intention, but its the way it reads). I didn't feel that the last line of this fit here, but I loved the placement of the beginning of 2 right after the first mini poem (that was a good transition for me) and like I said that image was very true for me and powerful. --actually now that I reread the last section I think I know what it is. You break the established pattern of four lines here which emphasizes that last line and I think that is also part of what makes it uncomfortable to read.

3: So here you return to that inspirational quote voice which works well with the first mini poem and though I don't have a lot to say about this one, I did think that it fit very well and I have no complaints about it. Good Job.

4: Here's one I misread. So I like the misdirect, it really emphasizes the message which is that confidence is there and gives you strength to persevere. You faithfully stay in voice. The end question is interesting. Cool I guess is all I have to say.

Overall, like I said in the 2 section it reads like a series of poems, maybe written on four separate inspirational posters. I think it's a really strong piece, but the second stanza/mini poem is your weakest not because of the metaphor (which may be over used but you phrase it in such an interesting way with the right tone and with the right lead in so I loved it) but because that last line makes me pause to much and doesn't fit with the metaphor.




manilla says...


Thank you for the feedback! :)



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Mon Jun 11, 2018 3:00 am
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jjfashiongirl says...



This poem was very well written and it made me connect with the words that were written.




manilla says...


Thank you!



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Mon Jun 11, 2018 2:26 am
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Radrook wrote a review...



Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:

Confidence is belief in one’s ability to accomplish a goal. The opposite is doubt in oneself. I really like the concept of personifying confidence and asking it questions. I also like the way the poem looks on the page and how each stanza is set apart as a separate set of questions.

Questions indicate a lack of understanding. In this poem the writer expresses a need to understand why he is confident one moment while in others he is full of doubt. It isn’t clear whether confidence has disappointed him because of being totally absent or else because it did not provide success. The writer seems to describe confidence as some mysterious feeling that suddenly descends out of nowhere and is not reliable.

Question:

“There was nothing better do, or so you had made me think.”

[How can confidence make a person think that there is nothing better to do than to cry?]

Suggestions
I remember [feeling] the tears pour down.

I would change the following two to statements instead of questions:

“Does the memory of submitting that story remain?”
“Does the sensation of winning a gold linger?”

All in all a very good read. Looking forward to reading more of your poetry.




manilla says...


Thanks, Radrook C:



Radrook says...


Happy to have you among us!



manilla says...


Very glad to be here :D




There's a Brazilian things you could write about. You just gotta pick Juan.
— Hattable