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16+ Language Violence

The Devil Elixir.

by babydollblues


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

My fingers twist,

Turn in unnatural ways, 

Doing an odd dance.

The skin ripping,

as bloody gore shines through,

showing my pure bones.

"Dig at 'em!"

And I do, 

Pulling them out with a demonic vigor;

I don't need anything angelic in this body.

"You've become a monstrosity,"

I grin, 

As I crawl along the floor like an animal,

Drool running down my chin,

Making rivets all along the tile floor.

"Ain't nothin' feelin' good tonight!"

I giggle out,

A large chunk of muscle slides off the sinew of my arm,

A wet pop sends me into hysterics,

And I'm going into a fit again.

"Fuckin' hit me! send it straight up my veins!"

An injection,

And I'm seein' the Devil,

A smoking mess of bodies.

I've got an itch in my guts,

And an ache in my fists,

I'm tellin' you honey,

I'm a no good beast,

and the stuff in your pockets,

They seem like one hell of a feast.


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Points: 152
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Mon Jan 09, 2017 11:15 pm
PollyLouise77 says...



This poem is so unusual and for that reason I really admire it. When people write about themselves even for creativity they usually want to make the characters seem as positive and likeable as possible to make sure there is a connection but you have done it in such a way that you never needed it in the first place. It's to good for that.It is thought provoking and entreating and really sparks the question of what next? what next? I'm not sure if this is your style but if you wanted to write a series of poems based on this I'd be really excited to read it. Thankyou so much for sharing your creativity. Good luck with your next work.




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Points: 152
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Mon Jan 09, 2017 11:15 pm
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PollyLouise77 wrote a review...



This poem is so unusual and for that reason I really admire it. When people write about themselves even for creativity they usually want to make the characters seem as positive and likeable as possible to make sure there is a connection but you have done it in such a way that you never needed it in the first place. It's to good for that.It is thought provoking and entreating and really sparks the question of what next? what next? I'm not sure if this is your style but if you wanted to write a series of poems based on this I'd be really excited to read it. Thankyou so much for sharing your creativity. Good luck with your next work.




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12 Reviews


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Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:00 pm
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Adler77 wrote a review...



I like this poem? Your title really caught my attention. At first, I thought that the speaker was some monster or demon, or something. As I read, I imagined some inhuman being dancing around excitedly. It only hit me near the end, that the person was on Devil Elixir. Earlier in it, I thought it viewed people as food, which really got me interested in what manner of beast that was. To think that is just a person receiving the elixir, it really gets me curious concerning the story behind it. All in all, I loved it and keep up the good work!




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59 Reviews


Points: 5328
Reviews: 59

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Mon Jan 09, 2017 9:11 pm
PusheenTheCat wrote a review...



Wow this is a really good but I am here to help you with what you need to work on.
I really like the way you said everything and how you put it up. But the real thing is that you are crazy on the inside, and that is what I like about you.
This is a really crazy story but I really like it. Another thing I like about it is that you really know what you are talking about like when you said at the beginning "'Dig at em"' that is when I would say that you have gone crazy but that was also the part where I couldn't stop reading.
I really also like the part were you said "'A smoking mess of bodies."'that was another part where I really liked.

Keep writing and I will keep giving you reviews. Until next time keep writing and the good work.





I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
— Paul Simon