I wish I was a gentle soul;
A good ol' gal.
But after all these things,
How could I be?
I guess you could label me a concrete rose;
I've grown from nothing
but I still got thorns
and I still hurt anyone who dares to take hold.
Not everythin's gotta be pretty;
someone has to be rough,
otherwise there'd be a whole lot of fools,
and a lot of people aimin' to hurt 'em.
Yeah, I've got a lot of problems;
These small hands are meant to break things,
So please don't get so close,
Don't be so quick to love.
I know you want to teach me gentle ways;
but please know all this is incredibly uncomfortable,
and I'd rather be treated unkindly,
than called all these sickly sweet names.
I've got a lot of heart;
I've got a lot of love too,
but sometimes when I really need it,
it doesn't want to show.
You've got to understand;
I'm real rough around the edges,
gotta lot of wear and tear,
I'm not used to lovin' blindly.
And I'll refuse to, if I have to be honest;
I stop my heart from being fully in it,
there's nothing wrong with you,
it's just hard to love you.
I enjoyed this. The emotion is beautiful and I feel the message is very strong. I think the format is great and it goes well with what you are saying. I think everyone feels like this at some point in their lives and you have captured the feeling beautifully. You are a good writer and I look forward to reading more of your writing.
I'm going to be honest, this gave me some feels.
This is beautiful.
I love the format and how it stays consistent throughout the poem.
The metaphor is on point (pun intended).
I just really like this, and I usually don't like poetry or romance!
Even though there's no characters specifically shown, I still am able to imagine someone saying or writing this to someone, and that's pretty amazing.
In all, I think this is a nice, thought-provoking poem, and I think you should keep it up!
Hi there babydollblues! Niteowl here to review this poem!
To start off on a positive note, I think you have a strong voice throughout this piece. I mostly enjoyed reading this out loud, which to me is a key part of an enjoyable poem. Now I'll go through the whole piece.
The first stanza is, in my opinion, not the strongest. I like the concrete rose metaphor better, so maybe that would be a stronger opener. I'm not sure if the first stanza would fit better somewhere else in the poem or cut out altogether.
otherwise there'd be a whole lot of fools,
and a lot of people aimin' for purposeful hurt.
I know you want to teach me gentle ways;
but please know all this is incredibly uncomfortable,
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