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I'm not a lovin' fool

by babydollblues


I wish I was a gentle soul;

A good ol' gal.

But after all these things,

How could I be?

I guess you could label me a concrete rose;

I've grown from nothing

but I still got thorns

and I still hurt anyone who dares to take hold.

Not everythin's gotta be pretty;

someone has to be rough,

otherwise there'd be a whole lot of fools,

and a lot of people aimin' to hurt 'em.

Yeah, I've got a lot of problems;

These small hands are meant to break things,

So please don't get so close,

Don't be so quick to love.

I know you want to teach me gentle ways;

but please know all this is incredibly uncomfortable,

and I'd rather be treated unkindly,

than called all these sickly sweet names.

I've got a lot of heart;

I've got a lot of love too,

but sometimes when I really need it,

it doesn't want to show.

You've got to understand;

I'm real rough around the edges,

gotta lot of wear and tear,

I'm not used to lovin' blindly.

And I'll refuse to, if I have to be honest;

I stop my heart from being fully in it,

there's nothing wrong with you,

it's just hard to love you.


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44 Reviews


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Reviews: 44

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Fri Jan 06, 2017 7:33 pm
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CharlotteS wrote a review...



I enjoyed this. The emotion is beautiful and I feel the message is very strong. I think the format is great and it goes well with what you are saying. I think everyone feels like this at some point in their lives and you have captured the feeling beautifully. You are a good writer and I look forward to reading more of your writing.




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Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:57 am
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UnbalancedCalm wrote a review...



I'm going to be honest, this gave me some feels.
This is beautiful.
I love the format and how it stays consistent throughout the poem.
The metaphor is on point (pun intended).
I just really like this, and I usually don't like poetry or romance!
Even though there's no characters specifically shown, I still am able to imagine someone saying or writing this to someone, and that's pretty amazing.
In all, I think this is a nice, thought-provoking poem, and I think you should keep it up!




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Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:51 am
UnbalancedCalm says...



woops




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Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:41 am
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niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there babydollblues! Niteowl here to review this poem!

To start off on a positive note, I think you have a strong voice throughout this piece. I mostly enjoyed reading this out loud, which to me is a key part of an enjoyable poem. Now I'll go through the whole piece.

The first stanza is, in my opinion, not the strongest. I like the concrete rose metaphor better, so maybe that would be a stronger opener. I'm not sure if the first stanza would fit better somewhere else in the poem or cut out altogether.

otherwise there'd be a whole lot of fools,

and a lot of people aimin' for purposeful hurt.


The second line here is one of the few places where I felt tripped up when I read it out loud. I think it's the long word "purposeful" that's messing me up. Maybe you could rephrase the idea more simply, like "and a lot of people aimin' to hurt them".

I know you want to teach me gentle ways;

but please know all this is incredibly uncomfortable,


The second line here is again a spot where I lose the flow a bit. I think the weaker spots in this piece are where we lose the speaker's voice. I wonder if you couldn't say this in a more interesting way, like "but gentle doesn't exist in my world."

As far as endings go, I prefer the second-to-last stanza over the last stanza. I don't feel like the last stanza really adds much. It just summarizes in a pretty tell-y way what the rest of the poem has already shown us.

Overall, I like the voice of this piece, but there are a few spots I think it could be stronger. Keep writing! :)





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