The salty brine rolls down your face,
Or is it my face?
Maybe we are one and the same,
An anthology of feelings,
Feelings that have become personified into a hollow whole.
Several of me,
But all of them are tainted by the same feeling,
The same inky blueness that covers the night,
And the color of my blanket we huddle up in with our fright.
All of me are numb,
Even the yellowest,
Even the reddest,
And especially the bluest.
We spill these colors on the paper,
In hopes of feeling something better,
Something newer.
But all of us are screaming no,
No to what could be a new whole,
Because we know that soon they will rue,
Covered in the same dull blue,
Itching for pen and paper too.
So,
We kill each and every new whole,
Knowing that although we will not feel,
The new wholes will not feel the crushing weight of blue,
Of midnight,
And yonder.
We,
All at the same time,
Wipe the salt lakes from our eyes,
Wishing that we knew of the letter 'I'.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
I really like this.. It reminds me of the biblical story of the man who was full of many spirits.
"We are legion, for we are many."
I like how the ends of the lines seem to have similar sounds in them. Ex: Time, eyes, I. Not RHYMES, per se, but they have similar sounds in them. A very emotional poem, I believe. Kind of creepy as well.
Thanks, Joelsweet
Sorry about the blank comment below, I accidentally didn't press "submit as a review." ^^"
Hey there I think you did a good job, you should be proud. I very much think I can understand this. I feel a lot of the same things. I don't even know I just really like it. I know I'm kind of new here so I still have a lot to learn haha. I hope you keep on writing, and that I'll see more from you. Keep on being you! All I'd suggest is a little editing in some places once you've careful looked through. Good luck.
*hugs*