in the summer noon
an ant cools its body in
my sweat drops on floor.
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140,623 Literary Works • 673,565 Reviews
Niice. ^^ I like how your haiku diverges from the average one. I think that last line sounds a bit awkward, though. (Not the meaning, just the way it was presented.) I don't know what an alternative would be, though, with the same amount of syllables. ^^"
Overall, this is a great little poem with a fun idea and brings great imagery in its short length.
Thanks!
~Joelsweet
(Ps- Keep in mind that I am certainly not a professional writer ^^" This is just my opinion.)
No prob, bro. Thanks for your opinion.
Hey!
I really liked this haiku and I know how hard they are to write. I love the idea of summer and ants and sweat. It's relatable and it's simple but beautiful. It brings back memories of late summer noon with me lying on the floor watching little ants crawl around.
The last line confused me a bit but I understand why you can't add 'the' in the last line.
Anyway, I really liked it and I'd love to read more your haikus,
Alice ♥
Hey, thanks for the review and thanks for liking my haiku.
I will try to write better haikus, but, pls don't read my previous posted haikus. they are gross..
Okay I won't. Please tag me when you write another haiku
Sure, Rache-san.
haha awesome I've always liked haikus. I learn Japanese so I have been doing Japanese haikus. They're so beautiful and calming to the ears. I like it that you used summer and ants and sweats haha would have never thought about an idea like that. Your haikus are really creative and unique so good luck and I hope you continue to write more wonderful haikus such as this in the mere future.
Till next time and I can't wait for your next upload!
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