I took a breath, it was dark.
The stars were hiding; the clouds were out.
I walked alone with my shadow,
Towards the roaring sound of thunder.
The rain made it hard to see,
my tears made it hard to breathe.
I covered my face,
fearing someone would see.
The draining of my sorrows,
all those years, pouring on me.
Loud thunder clapping above,
breaking into my fears.
Shaking I looked up,
my eyes finding the sky,
the darkness was vast,
nothing could hide.
A little light,
giving hope and life.
My heart started to soar,
it was alive again.
I now know,
I have nothing to fear.
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Canary word: Present
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
I have always liked rain!! Thunder and rain is a great metaphor to describe emotions. I like how you used it to establish the mood of the story. The first line is awesome!! I can imagine myself in a rainstorm. Facing my fears and facing the world. Awesome job!!! I commend your creativity
This is a really good poem!
I like the wording you have used, like how Spearhawkdude said, the last line is great. It's very powerful, summing up the poem and bringing it to a good end. I find the end of a poem really hard to write, but this one's great.
Also, the first line really captivates the reader, and it helps even more you have a full stop after the first line opposed to a comma.
Great poem!
-CFG
This was so good! Me and @Dreamy have been working together (sort of) too. I knew she was lying when she said she was bad at writing poems.
This poem was so heartfelt and so realistic, it made me feel all gooey inside, and I love it. The last line was so nice, and I loved the way you used the persons surroundings to convey their feelings. And I love how you were conveying how even a little bit of light can bring hope into a person. 
keep up the good work.