A/N: this just came to me spontaneously...it is meant to be self-interpreted, however it could be a twist to the original beauty and beast story. (Also, it is a bit dark.)
You took my innocence away with just one look,
robbing me of all peace of mind, all serenity.
I was broken by your tone, it wasn't harsh, it was sturdy.
As if you knew me more than I knew myself.
You held me in the palm of your hands from day one.
using all the faith I had in you and turning it against my good.
Formulating a plan to keep me in the chains, you wound around me.
I was held by false promises and my own shame and guilt for ever loving you.
You enjoyed that fact, didn't you?
That I actually cared about you.
That you actually mattered.
You tore into the root of my confidence within a week,
and planted weeds which claimed that I was yours.
And I took it.
I'm still trying to destroy those weeds to this day.
But I think it'll take more blisters, pulling you out,
or just fire, to burn you to ashes.
You stole me away with a couple of words,
took my heart and put in on a mantle for all to see,
you imprisoned me with those fangs of lies that
enchanted me and made me trust you.
You planned to destroy me with my own mind.
And the worst thing, is that it worked.
This is really amazing and I can obviously tell that you put great emotion into this poem. Its very touching, yet dark at the same time. I really enjoyed reading it, and like carnembluestar said, the last two lines were really awesome. I literally got tingles as I read it, like to do whenever I see/read something powerful and great.
You are a great poet, keep going!
Bye for now!
~BookWolf
Thank you, and thanks for the like!
Hey,
This is a great poem. You used punctuation correctly which is always nice. I also admire your use of vocab through out the entire poem. Because this is a review however my one little nitpick is that I'm firmly against starting sentences as well as stanzas with "And" with few exceptions. Aside from that however this is a well written poem. I love your use of metaphors and comparisons to. It's clear you put a lot of time and consideration/thought into this poem and I'm glad you did. At this point I look forward to reading more of your past and future work.
Sincerely,
Collideascope.
Thanks!
This is a powerful piece and a great one as well.
I really like how you've used punctuation, I think its placement only added to the impact of the entire work.
My favourite part of the entire poem is the ending two lines. I feel as though they hold the most impact by summarizing all the emotion written through out. You could almost imagine the narrator's voice cracking with the last word as if they were ready to cry.
Keep up the good work
Thanks! x)