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125,029 Literary Works • 672,775 Reviews
I really like this poem. The girl is question has great personality that you were able to develop from the first stanza.
I found these lines a bit unnecessary, as if they were placed without full purpose. They could have more thought added when placed for a better impact.
I really like what you are saying in these lines, It could possible make them the favourite of the poem. However the lines are long especially the last one and seem to break the flow. I feel like they need some extra crafting to make them more poetic.
<3 thanks! I'll take a look sometime.
Hi there, roxy here!
I know that you posted this up here quite a few months ago, but I just happened to stumble across it today and so decided I must comment on it!
I really love this piece, the dignity and the defientness of it all! I love how easy it is to relate to this piece, we all have something in us that others have tried to squash, but we have stood strong and proud through it anyway! A great theme for a poem!
I think that the way you showed the two sides of the story was very well executed and originally done!
"Their eyes displayed contempt,
their hearts wrought with frustration;
they said she was crazy,
they said she’d never be a lady."
"She laughed at their faces and yelled with strong fervor “And you dare to call us all freemen?!”"
These are definatly my favorite lines, so full of emotion and passion!
Congratulations on such a wonderful piece of writing my dear!!
i like this poem, the women in it is brave and fearless. i love the reference to freemen, it really makes a point and stands out in my eyes. The red dress, i feel is her sign of rebellion. Me, i think it is a great idea to question authority and the girl in this really did that. She stood up to those who would try to change what she believed and one, this is a great display of courage and integrity.
It was inspired by a book called "The Scarlet Letter". Thanks!
Hello there, Dream! My name's Rosie, and I'm here to share my thoughts about this piece.
Initially, I wasn't sure what this piece was because of how you'd organized it. Judging by the way it is divvied up into paragraphs, I was under the impression that it was a short story. But as I read, I realized that it felt much more like a poem and realized that you'd classified it as a poem.
Watch this.
"Scarlet is a rude color,
many had once told her.
It’s too bold, too reckless,
too wrong, and too breathless."
This is not perfect, but I think it demonstrates my point. In all writing - but especially in poems, an author's method of organizing the words can make the difference between the work feeling muddy and confusing instead of vibrant and interesting. Presenting your work in a format that allows its awesomeness to shine instead of being buried beneath other words is essential.
Correctly organizing your work will make more people want to read it. If your work is clean and pleasant to read, your ideas will be conveyed more effectively, thus making more of an impact upon your readers.
Lastly, I'd like to take a moment to touch on the concept of this piece. It's been done before. This doesn't mean that I think you shouldn't write about it; it means that because you've chosen to write about something that quite a few others have, your take on the concept must be unique and vibrant enought to stand out. You must use your own unique views and creativity to add new flavor to a stale concept.
If you disagree with any of my opinions or suggestions, feel free to disregard them. At the end of the day, your opinion concerning your work is paramount. Don't change it for anyone.
Always keep writing!
-Rosie
Thank you. I was going for a more simple approach and was really doing this to get back to writing again. I need some practice for sure but I do like this concept and don't mind repeating it.