Quick -- hide the fire within.
Do not let others see
the fiery sparkles
in your eyes.
Do not let them raise
their eyebrows
when they know
they fueled this fire.
If you don’t hide it --
beware. The fire
would not stay
in your eyes.
Instead it’ll spread to
your mouth and tongue,
urging you to spit
venomous words on them.
Then if they still fuel it
with their stinging words,
the occasional corrosive
whispers, and devilish smiles,
your fire -- they should beware --
would prevail to
your other body parts,
urging you to dance a lethal dance,
one they wouldn’t want
to participate in.
Again, quick -- hide the fire within.
Or else, you would leave them
lying still on the floor,
their bodies covered
with scarlet
pool.
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140,262 Literary Works • 673,077 Reviews
Hey I'm Caitie.
I love this poem because it explains exactly what alot of people think. I have a younger brother and if he sees that he's annoying me he'll keep doing it. So I know exactly how this is and I'm glad someone put into word. Over all I think that the poem flowed really smoothly through out the entirety of it. I love everything about this!
What an excellent topic to write about, for myself has experience situation as describe above.
Instead it’ll spread to
your mouth and tongue,
urging you to spit
venomous words on them
I loved the imagery you put in to showcase how angry can spill over and can cause you to utter words of terrible matters. The comparison to a snake with "venomous words" also reinforces the angry felt by the narrative.
would prevail to
your other body parts,
Maybe go more into detail and explain what parts are being affected such as hands, feet, fingers, etc.
This poem is very well written and would love to read other literature from you.
You clearly did not hide the fire within, you waited and branded it onto this poem.
Do not let them raise
their eyebrows
when they know
Eyebrows is quite a jarring word, I don't know if it works here. maybe just brows would be suited better
their bodies covered
with scarlet
pool.
The ending is also a bit off, just ending on pool kind of messes with the flow. i dont really have a suggestion for replacement there but it feels a bit off. The rest of the poem is fantastic and i hope the person who its addressed to avoids you before they get hit haha