Sitting here and waiting for the vernal equinox to arrive,
Flower seeds to bury, of us gone archive.
Pondering on and about our winter catalogue,
Thinking about that night's chain of dialogues.
Love is in the air for those who can breathe,
But you were my oxygen and now emptiness wreathes.
It started as an original love story,
Delayed epiphany, was another foolish dummy.
Our hearts were locked, which had no key,
All that was left, was to be hurt by your perfidy.
Silly me, waiting for you at the train station,
But you never sat in the train, it was only incantations.
In every tall-tale, there is an evil-eye,
Estrangement was brisk, we had to say goodbye.
My dear, why was your warmth so strange,
Time has stopped since our glances last exchanged.
Crying since Christmas, my garden's all dry,
Flowers are yet to plant, pour them their lullaby.
I loved red roses, and preferred to plant them,
Little did I notice that there were thorns on the stem.
Petal by petal I opened my heart to you,
Not expecting a result that led to tears and dew.
Vibrant flowers are blooming high and low,
But all that my Wilted Flowers of Spring wish for, is a mere glow.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hai :3
This is such a wistful, bittersweet poem!! There’s such a strong seasonal motif throughout, with this gorgeous transition from winter to spring, but instead of renewal, there’s just this lingering sadness. You’ve woven this aching sense of loss into nature itself ~~ Like, flowers that won’t grow, gardens that remain dry, love that once bloomed but now withers. The vibes of this are just so poetic and tragic in the best way!! That is such a classic heartbreak poem vibe to me.
Okay, first of all, I am obsessed with this opening!! It immediately sets up this waiting, this longing for something new, but instead of rebirth, it feels like the narrator is just stuck. The phrase “of us gone archive” is so unique to me as well. I'm not sure exactly what it means, but it gives this sense that the relationship has been reduced to just records, a past event stored away, and that’s such a heart-wrenching way to frame it. It's very realistic!! It’s like love was once effortless, but now it’s suffocating, empty, and gone. This is a clever way to describe loss without being overly direct.
I love the idea here, but “tall-tale” and “evil-eye” feel slightly mismatched in connotation. The idea the evil eye traces back upon cultures and religions, so I think it's usage should be done respectfully ~~ Not that this poem isn't respectful, of course!! I imagine there could be a better way to word what you want to get across though, something that might not be seen as offensive depending on whoever reads it. Could you reword it to use the word "curse" instead?
^^^ Though, I adore how this makes their love feel almost magical!! It's not whimsical in the traditional fairy-tale way that is often painted, but it's something beyond human understanding. It may be negative, cursed, something that doesn't spark immediate joy... BUT I think that captures the same vibe either way. It's like throwing the typical expectation of a love / heartbreak poem onto its side, subverts the "And we lived happily ever after" that exists in these narratives.
My heart...
This ending is just so heartbreaking. It’s like the world keeps moving, love keeps blooming around the narrator, but they’re just stuck in the past, in loss. The contrast between vibrant flowers and wilted flowers makes the feeling of isolation even stronger. It's made worse because it's not even full love, just something, some small warmth that the narrator begged for. That’s devastating in the best way because like I said earlier, it's not a happy note to leave off on!!
Love love love!! This is such a gorgeous, sorrowful, aching piece of poetry. It captures that lingering sense of heartbreak perfectly with so many beautiful metaphors and striking visuals. Amazing work with this!! ^_^
- Payton
Thank you!
I do not mean to disrespect any religion or culture, by the word 'evil-eye', I meant to say that there is always someone standing in the way, right there to wish bad and be that bad character of every love story.
I hope its not hurtful...I really meant no disrespect.
This is an excellent poem. It is very powerful and each sentence hits harder than the last. The whole poem flows and it shows a purpose. I can feel the pain within the writing. I loved the way you use spring and flowers to show such pain. "Petal by petal I opened my heart to you, not expecting a result that led to tears and dew." shows the passion for this person. This is amazing.
Thank you!