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The Staircase: Leading to Archaic Era (Part 1)

by KaavyaK


The Introduction:

I had a very unusual dream one particular night. I could find myself on a spiral staircase, which had no start and no end. I was moving on these stairs that spiralled into a dark atmosphere, which didn't look like sky. In order to test if there is a base upon which the staircase rests, I jumped off, but was bounced back to the same position in a split of a second by some 'unknown force'. This meant I had to climb down to find out what was at the bottom. I decided to slide down through the railing of the staircase knowing that I'll not fall but reach to the bottom at faster pace than climbing down each step.

In some time, I landed to an altogether different biosphere. I was astonished to see the prodigious size of 'flora' and 'fauna' present there. I could see prehistoric 'Homo Sapiens' almost five times larger than an average human adult today, they had tamed 'Wolves' who were also three times larger than today's 'Grey Wolves'. I noticed an insectivorous plant like a 'Venus Flytrap' which was four times larger than today's version. Amidst of all that was happening in my experience, it was noteworthy that each and every creature was moving at a very slow pace, as if the time and motion during the era has slow down. I figured out that it could be driven from a scientific reason, that the time taken for Earth's revolution could have been far slow than present days' time taken to complete a revolution. I noticed the surrounding which appeared to be a dark and dense Cave which could have been inhabited by our ancestors in the chain of evolution. I witnessed a close confrontation between the pack of Wolves who were domesticated and a wild 'Bear' who happened to trespass their territory wherein the Wolves succeeded to drive off the huge Bear.

Part two coming soon...

Stay tuned!!!


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Tue Apr 23, 2024 6:51 pm
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AmayaStatham wrote a review...



Salutations, curious mind!



Amaya is back here and ready to review 📚!

Buckle up, 'cause this is going to be a bumpy ride. I’m going to keep it short alright!✨

All in all

This party rocked, let's take a quick look!

This sounds like a very interesting science fiction story. I definitely love the beginning, from the spiral staircase leading to the Archaic Era. I have a feeling this might all be in the protagonist's head and that sth really bad is going to happen.

Great start! Amazing concept. Even though this first chapter was short, I liked it a lot. I love the references from normal to “three times its size normal”

Promising title I have to say, it really spoke to me. I would love to find out more. XD Awesome job!

Areas to Improve:✒️

The following suggestions are merely to help you improve on your writing and not to offend you in any way. Feel free to skip these suggestions, if these are not what you aim for.

Firstly, I thought that this first chapter is a little short. I can’t really go into too much detail because this is actually your base and I haven’t yet seen what it’ll grow out to be.

Next, your beginning: Your beginning is very nice, from the protagonist on the staircase to landing in the beautiful (or scary) place. But as Lucian said, I would definitely consider adding some more descriptions to the staircase part. That would make things more wholesome.

Because your title has a staircase in it, I think it’s a pretty important part in your story, so I would take another look at that if I were you. If it’s not going to have such a major role, feel free to skip this suggestion. ^^

That’s it for this review, I hope I helped you a little. XD I would definitely suggest you continue writing this story if that’s what you want, but it’s really got potential. You did a nice job!

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
Amaya
– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉




KaavyaK says...


Thank for your review.



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Wed Apr 10, 2024 12:30 am
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Lucian wrote a review...



This was a very well-written work! the vivid imagery brought me into the dream. It was a wonderful idea to use an ancient biosphere, and the description of it was incredible. The inclusion of the sizes of the animals, along with their common day counterparts.

For recommendations, maybe a more full description of the staircase. Perhaps describing the stone, it's what I imagined the walls were built from, maybe even describing the cracks and crevices that adorn the walls. A continuation of the staircase could have been interesting, maybe having the tunnel shift from different styles of stone and wood and earth. artifacts or bones left on the stairs from the last ones who traveled down whatever staircase it is. That's it for my recommendations, I noticed that the poem had spotless grammar. Good job!

As for the continuation of the book or series that this is the lead of. what if you had the dream be a premonition to the main character finding a tunnel after some short adventure or even accidental? If you want a recommendation on the future of the work.

Overall, this was a incredible read and I hope to see more of your work. Good luck and may writers block stay away.




KaavyaK says...


Thank you for your review.



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Sun Apr 07, 2024 5:23 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was a lovely little tale here. I think you've done a wonderful job of putting together a very intriguing little world and quite an intriguing way to get there too.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I had a very unusual dream one particular night. I could find myself on a spiral staircase, which had no start and no end. I was moving on these stairs that spiralled into a dark atmosphere, which didn't look like sky. In order to test if there is a base upon which the staircase rests, I jumped off, but was bounced back to the same position in a split of a second by some 'unknown force'. This meant I had to climb down to find out what was at the bottom. I decided to slide down through the railing of the staircase knowing that I'll not fall but reach to the bottom at faster pace than climbing down each step.


Oooh this is a lovely little start to proceeding here. Just slowly letting us know what sort of a staircase this happens to be and the potential mysterious forces that we are dealing with as a result of that. Its a lovely little start just making sure we get a good idea of the scope of everything. It really works to give us a good look at what to expect and to build some nice tension here right at the start of this story which is always a great thing to have. Let's see where the rest of this story takes us.

In some time, I landed to an altogether different biosphere. I was astonished to see the prodigious size of 'flora' and 'fauna' present there. I could see prehistoric 'Homo Sapiens' almost five times larger than an average human adult today, they had tamed 'Wolves' who were also three times larger than today's 'Grey Wolves'. I noticed an insectivorous plant like a 'Venus Flytrap' which was four times larger than today's version. Amidst of all that was happening in my experience, it was noteworthy that each and every creature was moving at a very slow pace, as if the time and motion during the era has slow down. I figured out that it could be driven from a scientific reason, that the time taken for Earth's revolution could have been far slow than present days' time taken to complete a revolution. I noticed the surrounding which appeared to be a dark and dense Cave which could have been inhabited by our ancestors in the chain of evolution. I witnessed a close confrontation between the pack of Wolves who were domesticated and a wild 'Bear' who happened to trespass their territory wherein the Wolves succeeded to drive off the huge Bear.


Oooh well this is quite intriguing. I am loving the animals and the plants you've brought across here. They're very much recognizable and easy enough for us to visualize but they definitely do give off the energy of a different and much more dangerous world. I think its quite an enjoyable balance there. I love the way you introduce it as well, with the person just trying to take in all of this wonder and that ending is quite nicely done too. I can't wait to see what more will be seen in that second part.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall a powerful little tale and I think it sets up the part one of this particular scenario really quite well. I can't wait to see what will come next. Its really quite a promising start.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate




KaavyaK says...


Thank you, Kate, for the encouraging review.



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Sun Apr 07, 2024 5:07 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello, My Friend!

Pleasure to meet you! I am Raven, and after spotting this intriguing piece in the Green Room, I’d like to leave a review using my Familiar method! It’s pretty much the YWS’more method with the touch of a fantasy-horror writer. Let’s dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh…

What The Black Eyes See...

This was such an awesome concept! The idea of a dark staircase with no clear start or end immediately gave me SCP vibes (that is a compliment lol), and arriving at the new primal atmosphere felt like a unique and fascinating twist. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

Not much to put here at all! The descriptions were brilliant and I spied no glaring errors. As a very minor recommendation in good spirit, maybe some sensory notes would help this scene really pop. Like the dense air in the staircase, the feeling of the breeze as the narrator flies down the railing, and the humidity from those giant plants in the new area. Maybe an aroma like fresh earth and wet wood to compliment the new area. A sound like primal grunts and growls from these prehistoric beasts, or the rumble their massive footprints cause. Things like that, maybe?

But since this is a dream, it also makes sense for details like that to be hazy or lost, so I wouldn't think it's crucial.

And of course, this is just my opinion and I am not a professional, so please always take my advice with a grain of salt. The story is fantastic as it is too ~

Why The Grin Widened...

Ah, where to begin for highlights?

First of all, the atmosphere of the staircase feels so eerie. Very dark and mysterious, and gives a sense that it could be hiding something. Knowing that, I really enjoyed the detail here:

In order to test if there is a base upon which the staircase rests, I jumped off, but was bounced back to the same position in a split of a second by some 'unknown force'.


The mention of an unknown force pushing him back was very cool, and made the whole moment even more ominous. I genuinely had no idea where this story would go, but the anticipation to find out was building fast. Nicely done with that buildup ~

Then, landing in a whole different world, the descriptions created an incredible visual that left me shocked and surprised. Once again, your attention to detail was on-point, like here:

I could see prehistoric 'Homo Sapiens' almost five times larger than an average human adult today, they had tamed 'Wolves' who were also three times larger than today's 'Grey Wolves'.


Not only did using the scientific word for humans highlight the point that this is early man, different from the narrator him/herself, but the mention of larger sizes and separation from modern incarnations of these beasts also played up that prehistoric atmosphere. Very cool!

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, awesome short story, and I would love to read Part Two whenever it comes out! Nicely done! :D

Image




KaavyaK says...


Thank you, Raven, appreciate your review.




It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
— Voltaire