Young Writers Society

Hey, I just reviewed your poem so I thought I'd read this too! Let's dive in:

The Good Stuff
- This has a very interesting start with a dark staircase in the dream. It provokes a lot of mystery.
- There seems to be some pretty unique worldbuilding (since time-travel doesn't often happen in dreams)


Room For Improvement
- You have a great idea and a captivating start to your story but the writing ends up feeling a bit bland due to lacking the 'show, don't tell' tactic. This story states the obvious in a few parts and doesn't use a lot of detail, so there isn't a lot for the reader to picture or wonder about:

This meant I had to climb down to find out what was at the bottom. I decided to slide down through the railing of the staircase knowing that I'll not fall but reach to the bottom at faster pace than climbing down each step.

Serrurie

Salutations, curious mind!

This was a very well-written work! the vivid imagery brought me into the dream. It was a wonderful idea to use an ancient biosphere, and the description of it was incredible. The inclusion of the sizes of the animals, along with their common day counterparts.

For recommendations, maybe a more full description of the staircase. Perhaps describing the stone, it's what I imagined the walls were built from, maybe even describing the cracks and crevices that adorn the walls. A continuation of the staircase could have been interesting, maybe having the tunnel shift from different styles of stone and wood and earth. artifacts or bones left on the stairs from the last ones who traveled down whatever staircase it is. That's it for my recommendations, I noticed that the poem had spotless grammar. Good job!

As for the continuation of the book or series that this is the lead of. what if you had the dream be a premonition to the main character finding a tunnel after some short adventure or even accidental? If you want a recommendation on the future of the work.

Overall, this was a incredible read and I hope to see more of your work. Good luck and may writers block stay away.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was a lovely little tale here. I think you've done a wonderful job of putting together a very intriguing little world and quite an intriguing way to get there too.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I had a very unusual dream one particular night. I could find myself on a spiral staircase, which had no start and no end. I was moving on these stairs that spiralled into a dark atmosphere, which didn't look like sky. In order to test if there is a base upon which the staircase rests, I jumped off, but was bounced back to the same position in a split of a second by some 'unknown force'. This meant I had to climb down to find out what was at the bottom. I decided to slide down through the railing of the staircase knowing that I'll not fall but reach to the bottom at faster pace than climbing down each step.

In some time, I landed to an altogether different biosphere. I was astonished to see the prodigious size of 'flora' and 'fauna' present there. I could see prehistoric 'Homo Sapiens' almost five times larger than an average human adult today, they had tamed 'Wolves' who were also three times larger than today's 'Grey Wolves'. I noticed an insectivorous plant like a 'Venus Flytrap' which was four times larger than today's version. Amidst of all that was happening in my experience, it was noteworthy that each and every creature was moving at a very slow pace, as if the time and motion during the era has slow down. I figured out that it could be driven from a scientific reason, that the time taken for Earth's revolution could have been far slow than present days' time taken to complete a revolution. I noticed the surrounding which appeared to be a dark and dense Cave which could have been inhabited by our ancestors in the chain of evolution. I witnessed a close confrontation between the pack of Wolves who were domesticated and a wild 'Bear' who happened to trespass their territory wherein the Wolves succeeded to drive off the huge Bear.

Hello, My Friend!

Pleasure to meet you! I am Raven, and after spotting this intriguing piece in the Green Room, I’d like to leave a review using my Familiar method! It’s pretty much the YWS’more method with the touch of a fantasy-horror writer. Let’s dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh…

What The Black Eyes See...

This was such an awesome concept! The idea of a dark staircase with no clear start or end immediately gave me SCP vibes (that is a compliment lol), and arriving at the new primal atmosphere felt like a unique and fascinating twist. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

Not much to put here at all! The descriptions were brilliant and I spied no glaring errors. As a very minor recommendation in good spirit, maybe some sensory notes would help this scene really pop. Like the dense air in the staircase, the feeling of the breeze as the narrator flies down the railing, and the humidity from those giant plants in the new area. Maybe an aroma like fresh earth and wet wood to compliment the new area. A sound like primal grunts and growls from these prehistoric beasts, or the rumble their massive footprints cause. Things like that, maybe?

But since this is a dream, it also makes sense for details like that to be hazy or lost, so I wouldn't think it's crucial.

And of course, this is just my opinion and I am not a professional, so please always take my advice with a grain of salt. The story is fantastic as it is too ~

Why The Grin Widened...

Ah, where to begin for highlights?

First of all, the atmosphere of the staircase feels so eerie. Very dark and mysterious, and gives a sense that it could be hiding something. Knowing that, I really enjoyed the detail here:

In order to test if there is a base upon which the staircase rests, I jumped off, but was bounced back to the same position in a split of a second by some 'unknown force'.

I could see prehistoric 'Homo Sapiens' almost five times larger than an average human adult today, they had tamed 'Wolves' who were also three times larger than today's 'Grey Wolves'.