I saw a mirage of us together and a few lovely imaginations,
But destiny had long ago crushed my dreamy Carnations.
I was stupid and I am still the same, because I find you attractive,
My spring is gone in sadness still my love for you is active.
Wilted flowers, wilted love and wilted promises also wither,
What else is left to fade, its just somber and silence hither.
I worshipped you with my whole heart, even when you were mostly absent,
After you actually left, sun-soaked sorrow has always been present.
The sun is burning bright but it is your absence which burns me the most,
The heatwaves still hum your name and the breeze smells like Alecost.
I can't watch you stay away, so my tears always blur my vision,
I beseeched for your love, to leave me was your decision.
My heart is just a desert, dying for drops of your love,
And in this desert only your name echoes, as I cry near alcove.
Some nights, it feels chilly and I need your warmth, only to realize that you are not here,
But I know our love didn't die, it just evaporated, it is invisible and everywhere.
The sun couldn't even dry these tears, let alone the scorched memories,
With every Heatwave and Heartache I worry more about my heart and its injuries.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hi @KaavyaK! Love what you've done here. You portray the ever-staying heartache for a love that's long gone, quite beautifully. Your harmonic rhyme binds the piece as a bouquet does roses.
You begin with accusations of destiny against your dreamy love- a bold start. You then move on to say how you feel like a fool for still loving a person from your past, who decided to leave you, which is incredibly relatable considering how blind and pathetic love can make a person.
You trap us in the imagery of wilting surroundings and impending silence following heartbreak, how the world feels numb. It's mindblowing to read how the lover is not much affected by burning heatwaves, as she is by the absence of the one she loved. You paint your heart as a desert desperate for love- a stunning metaphor.
You end by taunting the heat of the sun, incompetent as it failed to even dry your tears- love it.
And my favorite part about the poem- about your love evaporating, making it omnipresent and invisible to anyone else but you, instead of dying- fantastic concept
Thank you so much...but how did you know it was 'she'?
I think it was a guess from the way it was phrased, sounded it was from a feminine narrative. Plus it was in first person, so I believed it to be from your own perspective. But it was completely random, I hope I haven't offended by being wrong. I can't find any portion of the poem suggesting it, I'm very sorry for assuming things and jumping to baseless conclusions.
Oh no no no....it's just others did not guess till now...so...you are smart!
There is no need to be sorry.
Thank you.
Have a nice day ahead.
Relieved to hear it.
Hello! Valkyria here to leave a short review on your work. Let's get into it:
Wow, this poem is jampacked with imagery and description; it is absolutely gorgeous. The reminiscence of lost love and how the speaker is still grieving it and their former partner. As the user below me said, it's haunting and beautiful at the same time. Your choice of language is immaculate in expressing the right emotions. Every line made me breathless. The description puts a vivid image in my head. It's vulnerable and personal, and it's put so elegantly. I also noticed how "heatwave and heartache" were capitalized in the last line. It's a nice touch that connects it to the title. Well done!
Thank you!
I absolutely adore this piece, though my heart aches with empathy. Love can be beautiful but yet tragic and haunting when it doesn't favor our way. What's meant to be will always be, so give yourself time to heal and look forward to new adventures that await your future. Your person will come.
As for the depth of this piece, I am intrigued by such wording to express emotions. The vulnerability is displayed to an angle that lingering and longing for past love is inevitable. We can't help but reminisce the past when we miss it, but keep your head up and keep writing. The only thing out of perfection in this write would be the last four lines. They're a bit longer than the others, but that is truly the only thing that came to mind other than I love this beautiful art. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself. I truly enjoyed it.
Thank you!