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16+

Regretting

by KaavyaK


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Now that I can do nothing,

All I am doing is regretting my life.

Why did I meet you?

Why did I see you?

Why did I fall in love with you?

Now that I can do nothing,

All I am doing is regretting my life.

Why did I get this life?

Why am I still alive?

I would rather want to die,

Then listening to another lie.

Now that I can do nothing,

All I am doing is regretting my life.

This was just a trap,

With a gift wrap.

I just saw a snap of that map,

Saying how to trap me, trap me, trap me.

Now that I am trapped those are your hands that clap,

Click-clap, click-clap, click-clap.

Now that I can do nothing,

All I am doing is regretting my life.

All that left is a broken heart,

On which you placed a dart.

Regretting.


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User avatar
316 Reviews

Points: 26243
Reviews: 316

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Tue Apr 23, 2024 7:57 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



Time for a Black Cat Review!!



MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

Your first sentence is really engaging:

Now that I can do nothing,

All I am doing is regretting my life.


This does a really great job of catching my attention and I love how full of emotion it is. I love the statement of now that I can do nothing. That is full of so much- regret, looking back at the past, sadness, isolation. You capture a lot of emotion in those two lines.

Why did I meet you?

Why did I see you?

Why did I fall in love with you?

Now that I can do nothing,

All I am doing is regretting my life.

Why did I get this life?

Why am I still alive?


The use of asking questions is amazing! I find this poem so personal and so I can tell how genuine these thoughts are. Great work!

I would rather want to die,

Then listening to another lie.

Now that I can do nothing,

All I am doing is regretting my life.

This was just a trap,

With a gift wrap.


This flows very well and I enjoyed the rhymes you used. It really helped me be a lot more engaged and felt like it flowed very well when I said it out loud.

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

I would rather want to die,

Then listening to another lie.


I think this should be:
"I would rather die,
than listen to another lie"

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

Overall, I loved the emotion that you conveyed in this piece. I found it very powerful and full of regret. I think you are a wonderful writer and this is a great reflective lyrical piece.

I loved this quote:

All that left is a broken heart,

On which you placed a dart.

Regretting.


Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

Thanks for sharing this. Keep writing!

Your friend,
Ellie Mae

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!




KaavyaK says...


Thank you so much for reviewing my work.



User avatar
6 Reviews

Points: 50
Reviews: 6

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Sun Apr 21, 2024 10:18 pm
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AraWolf wrote a review...



Hi!
First of all, i would like to state that this was a pretty good poem! I loved the dynamics of it including the onomatopoeias and alliteration. I very much enjoyed the rhyming as well.
As for the things that you could work on, i think that each sentence should be a line and that you could be a little more descriptive of where they are in place and time, what happened to them, what trap they got drawn into, and why this mattered to them.
Overall however, i loved it! Please continue writing your poems so i can proceed at looking at them! If you would like please check out my stories as well!




KaavyaK says...


Thank you so much for reviewing my work, I will surely read your stories.



AraWolf says...


Thank you! Your poetry was AMAZING!



KaavyaK says...


Thank you!




“Though lovers be lost, love shall not; And death shall have no dominion.”
— Dylan Thomas