The world around us is ever changing,
from ‘good to better’ and ‘bad to worse’, it is ever changing.
We are bestowed with the gifts for survival by mother nature,
something we have exploited, but yet to ‘treasure’.
What we exhale they inhale – such a cohesive bond, such a pleasure.
Humans have excelled in technologies,
we can fly and communicate,
we call it ‘power’ and celebrate.
Little have we realized that the hand of creator is laid everywhere,
being a human is only fair.
The one inside us wants to go beyond ‘boundaries’; ‘cast’, ‘color’ and ‘fake’ identities,
thou one is the true nature of our existence.
The world around us calls for responsibility,
and cries for human attention.
The world around us is a true reflection of the very ‘joy’,
and the ‘wonder’ of the 'world inside' us.
The world around us is the creator’s MAGIC; entitled to us,
for we humans are its MAGICIAN.
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What a sweet poem <33 It was quite direct and narrative like. I felt like the narrator was speaking right to me and like I was learning a lot about their thoughts. As if you were just talking right to me, about the world and how it is changing and how we are growing.
I think 'thou' should be 'though' or 'although' I love how you use this listing tone, going through a lot of different attributes as we get further into the poem.
You touch on some hard things. Like human responsibilty, respect, and the need for us to help, but instead we neglect our world, leaving it in a degrading state. And at the very end, you use the magic metaphor that I love. The world being filled with magic and us, humans, the magicians. It is up to us to use it properly, to heal and save, instead of hurt and destroy.
Fantastic work!
Your friend,
Ellie
Thank you so much!
hey, so its been a long time since i wrote a review here but this poem forced me to write one, its that good. lets get into it.
ah, these lines.
so true, the world is sure changing. but not only in a good way but for the worse as well.
this line makes me cry and ponder about all these issues. we humans, who think that this world is in palm of our hands have greatly damaged it, this nature.
we think that we are superior to all living beings just because we have acquired these skills but there is a horrible truth that we have become monsters, committing crimes that goes beyond our imagination.
ok let me stop my overthinking brain.
overall i want to say that its a great poem
keep writing
Thank you!
Yes, that's the message I have been trying to convey through this poem. We humans think there is no one above us but there are things beyond our imagination.
Hello! This is AkuRashomon, and I am here to give a review/comment about your poem. This reminds me of my bathroom thoughts while the shower runs cold and noisy, tapping on the bathroom floor. It is good that people love to question and share their ideas and perspectives of the world involving around them. That is what makes the human brain beautiful. When they start to notice what is around them and they start to make their own beliefs, experiences, and thoughts about it. Overall, this poem was wonderful. Thanks for sharing this!
- AkuRashomon
Thank you!