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The Staircase: Leading to Archaic Era (Part 2)

by KaavyaK


The readers are encouraged to go through 'Part 1' before reading 'Part 2' in order to have a better understanding of the story.

The Interaction: 

The prehistoric humans were moving at a slow pace they saw me and approached with their bows and spears as I posed a threat to them. It instantly reminded me of what I read in 'History' about how interactions took place in prehistoric times. Therefore, I bow down in full body length to show my 'submission' to my ancestors. The prehistoric humans started sniffing my whole-body top to bottom, it appeared to be their way of examining an intruder.

In next few minutes I was picked up by a strong hand and was carried over from present cave to a new cave. Whilst they were carrying me, I could see the surrounding which was a rocky, hilly region with plants of all shape and size including big size 'cactus' plants. They took me to this new cave wherein I was dropped amongst children who were the size of an average adult of today's age. It appeared the prehistoric humans didn't want to waste too much time in investigating my whereabouts instead they took me as a creature who would best suit to amuse their offsprings. This new cave was comparatively smaller and ventilated as some of the rocks were removed from the surface of walls allowing sunlight and air to flow in.

The children had very long hair, sharp nails and large jaws. They uttered something in their own language which I was unable to interpret, however I responded through hand movements. At last, I could make them feel comfortable and I was no more a stranger to them. I was perplexed on all that was coming to my experience was 'too real' to be true. My skeptical mind could only suggest that I have 'time travelled' millions of years back, providing me an opportunity to witness the 'evolutionary chain' of human beings. 

Quite a few days passed on and I was well fed with whatever they hunted down as a prey, although there was an order to follow on who eats first. I was enjoying my time with my roommates who had started sharing their toys with me those made of rocks. At the same time, I noticed how both prehistoric men and women engaged in making tools out of rocks and made pictures with stones by carving on the wall.

On one particular night I saw how they were intrigued with sudden streak of lightening in the dark sky and became afraid of the fury of nature. Perhaps, they haven't discovered 'Fire' until then. So, I made up my mind to introduce the most vital element of Mother Nature into their lives - 'FIRE'.  

'Part 3' coming soon.

Stay tuned...


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Sun May 05, 2024 8:04 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

This was a great sequel to your first Staircase story! I was really excited to hop back into this great prehistoric setting, watching this narrator struggle to make sense of being dropped here without any explanation or clues (presumably). And seeing how they engage with early man is fascinating! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

Nothing much to put here! I have no complaints for content; this had all the aspects I was hoping to see continued in the story. The fascination, the bewilderment, the bit of fear, and the great descriptions of course! There was only one thing I noticed and thought to remark on, in good faith, and it's very minor:

The prehistoric humans were moving at a slow pace they saw me and approached with their bows and spears as I posed a threat to them.


It seems like two sentences got spliced together here. Perhaps it would be better to split them up? Example... "The prehistoric humans were moving at a slow pace. They saw me and approached with their bows and spear as if I posed a threat to them."

That's all for here! And of course, I am not a professional, so please always take my advice with a grain of salt.

Why The Grin Widened...

I love how you described the narrator's interaction with the prehistoric men; the lack of communication through words, which makes perfect sense, and relying on body language instead. Likewise...

In next few minutes I was picked up by a strong hand and was carried over from present cave to a new cave.


The fact that these guys can move a normal human with one hand really put their size and strength in perspective, and added a bit of tension to the whole situation. After all, if there's a misunderstanding or a miscommunication that convinces the prehistoric men that they're a threat, that could spell trouble, and the narrator is clearly at a disadvantage...

(also, out of curiosity, do you have a name and gender for the narrator? Not a big deal if you want to leave it unspoken, I'm just curious and it would make these reviews a little easier lol)

The children had very long hair, sharp nails and large jaws. They uttered something in their own language which I was unable to interpret, however I responded through hand movements. At last, I could make them feel comfortable and I was no more a stranger to them.


Again, great way to describe an interaction between someone of the modern day and the prehistoric race. And I would guess that the narrator has some advanced level of communication skills, if they can make the children feel comfortable through gestures alone -and come off as nonthreatening enough for the adults to let them near the children in the first place.

My skeptical mind could only suggest that I have 'time travelled' millions of years back, providing me an opportunity to witness the 'evolutionary chain' of human beings.


Ah, and now we're getting hints as to the reason the narrator is here, and what that staircase did! However this time warp works, through whatever means, I am very interested ~

Perhaps, they haven't discovered 'Fire' until then. So, I made up my mind to introduce the most vital element of Mother Nature into their lives - 'FIRE'.


And this was a brilliant note to leave this next part of the story on! The discovery of fire sounds like it could go spectacularly right...or terribly, dangerously wrong.

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, this was a great new installment in your Staircase story collection! Nicely done! :D

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KaavyaK says...


Thank you for reviewing my work.



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Tue Apr 23, 2024 6:59 pm
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AmayaStatham wrote a review...



Hey there!



Amaya is back here and ready to review 📚!

Buckle up, 'cause this is going to be a bumpy ride. I’m going to keep it short alright!✨

All in all

This party rocked, let's take a quick look!

As you said in the beginning, I read part one first before part two. So here I’m again leaving you a review on part two. ^^

I think it’s really interesting how you placed your protagonist from the modern times in the prehistoric times. I think with all the knowledge the protagonist has, he kind of is the leader (God) there. I’m really excited to see where you’re going with this.

You also did a great job with the second chapter and I like the elements you place in it. Or the people sniffing him to make sure he isn’t the enemy or a predator. Great thinking there!

I love the fact that he’s going to introduce them to fire, I hope everything goes well for them.

Areas to Improve:✒️

The following suggestions are merely to help you improve on your writing and not to offend you in any way. Feel free to skip these suggestions, if these are not what you aim for.

As I said for the first chapter also, try to take a risk and make your chapter a little longer. Think about adding some more descriptions and telling about your protagonist's background?

~~~

Overall, I loved this chapter as much as the first one. And as I said before, I’m really excited to see where you’re going with this. All the best!

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
Amaya
– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉




KaavyaK says...


Thank you for reviewing my work.




[as a roleplayer is feeling sad about torturing her characters] GrandWild: "You're a writer, dear. Embrace it."
— GrandWild