In two minutes,
My socks could burn to ashes.
The lovely baby blue colour and white polka dots
would be cinders in seconds,
leaving my feet slightly chilled.
.
In two minutes,
Word could shut off
there could be a strange glitch or a bug
and all of my hard work would be gone
.
In two minutes,
The pages of my book could fall out.
One
by
one,
like leaves in the fall
they’ll all drift to the ground
because the binding gave up on them.
What a disappointment.
.
In two minutes,
The world could end.
A fresh world war that lasts
thirty seconds
could start.
Bombs would be taken too far.
So far that the earth would fall to the knees
of World War Three.
.
In two minutes,
you’ll fall under my spell.
The spell of a hologram
Who has abilities like none other.
.
In two minutes,
You could finish this poem.
Maybe even before that.
.
But the two minutes are crucial
To the blueprint of our lives.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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140,369 Literary Works • 673,125 Reviews
HolographicLadyBug. What a name!(:
I really liked the way that you took something so simple and tore it apart. You didn't see the moon, but you saw the way it glinted off the shattered piece of what once was a mirror. All it takes is two minutes and the entire world could fall apart and it makes me wonder what, or who, hurt you in that small about of time. The idea is beautiful.
My favorite thing in your poem, without a doubt, is the ending. It's a strong ending that really hooked onto me. I loved how you kind of broke the fourth wall by connecting to the reader about reading the poem and ending it with how we must cherish even the small things given to us.
I loved the humor to it too. It was such a deep meaning with such a light tone to it and I applaud you for that. You talked about how if your socks burned your feet would be cold and that your book would bring you disappointment. And then BAM. You could also die in two minutes but you know. Haha, I loved it.
But I think the flow of the poem could be better. Sentences like "One by one" and "thirty seconds could start" be in one line so there's more you can add to it. Bring more imagery. I loved the cold feet and the earth to it's knees, but what about the book breaking like everything else or bringing the leaves of the pages to life? Only a suggestion, but I feel like you have more waiting inside of you.
Overall, I loved what you have created with Two Minutes. It's amazing and I'm obsessed with the idea. Some of those lines are definitely going to stick me(:
Thanks for the review and compliment on my username! Yours is quite cool as well.
Why thank you! Yours is quite creative. Seriously though, you're a great writer.
Aw, thanks!
Hello! Authorian here for a reviewww~~~~
This is such a beautiful poem! I always love your style. It's interesting, in the way it's formatted. And I especially loved the part pertaining to the possibility of World War lll. It really hit home.
Since reviews should touch on what the author could improve, I will say this. It felt just a little bit long to me. But that's touching on personal preference in this case.
Basically, there's nothing wrong with this piece.
It does what it should. It's beautifully written. It's engaging, interesting, and original. It has a message. It puts things in wonderful perspective.
But I suppose that the message itself makes me saying it's long practiaclly irrelevant. Because I believe I read this poem in under two minutes, and it changed my perspective.
Keep writing!
Best regards,
Authorian
This was really awesome. Specially the title attracted me. Just awesoeme