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Hi HolographicLadybug, Felistia here with a review on your novel.

Story: So I am guessing that you are picking up a whole lot of characters and then are going to introduce the main plot of the story. By the looks of it you are setting up plot points, which is good. Since each chapter is like a small story its self I am going to review it as though it where a short story, for the moment. So this chapter feels very rushed and doesn't really give any description on where the characters are. The chapter can definitely be longer so I would recommend that you expand a bit on it.

Characters: There are about three new characters in here, but the main one would be Whitney. I feel like I didn't really connect to them very well since the chapter is very short from what it is trying to tell.

Description: There is a lot in the beginning of the chapter, which is my favourite bit of the chapter, but it seems to die off afterwards. I think you should definitely put in more description, so that the reader has a clear picture in their head as to what the world around the characters look like.

Over all it is a great lay out for a great story, but just need a little more work in the details. I still enjoyed it though. Never stop writing and I how you have a great day\night.

Overall the story felt very rushed. Try exploring Whitney's surroundings more. Also the dialogue is a bit stilted in parts, but not too bad for a first draft, keep on writing!

Really great book, But why demons (just currious ( I wrote a book about that two look for the Raven Child) I am confused about the hole branch in the arm thing but it's intressting pluss good job with the for shaddow. "She had marvellous almond-shaped eyes, freckles that perfectly dotted her cheeks, wavy copper-coloured hair", Whitney smoothed back her copper-coloured hair. Great job with that. But may i ask why why the whole cloak and dagger stuff. either way great job