z

Young Writers Society



A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 6.3

by ExOmelas


A/N: I really hope the little joke this ends on works :P I think the rest of the travel will have to be summarised at the start of the next chapter. I could stick it on the end here, but I think I like the ending and this chapter is already 4000 words.

---

Carefully watching Hilene and Victane allowed Buck to get back into the swing of horse-riding within an hour or so. They chatted a little any time they had to slow down, which was necessary whenever a group passed in the opposite direction. This seemed to happen a lot, like everyone but Buck was flocking to Resador City to see what Erson had been up to. For the most part, however, Buck didn't have to dwell on this, and could canter along in the summer sun.

"I'd head this way for the evening," Victane said eventually, bringing his horse to a stop. There was a track just wide enough for the three of them to go abreast. It headed into the treeline, and Buck couldn't see far along it.

"Is there somewhere to sleep?" he asked.

"An inn, aye," Victane said. "We can get some drinks and a proper bed."

Buck glanced up at the sun, which was just beginning to set. That meant it was late evening, which explained why his stomach wanted food. He nodded. "Alright, let's go."

The tavern turned out not to be too far from the road, but had been entirely obscured. Even at the edge of the forest, the trees were so thick that their branches knitted together, and the light was quickly fading. Soon though, the flickering lights were clearly visible through the steamed up windows. Victane was leading Buck to a small hut to the left, which served as a stables, then headed inside.

They were met with a rumble of chatter as the patrons of the busy tavern tucked into meals and drinks before them on the tables. There was less of a pattern to the tavern Buck used to perform in, which was almost like rows of seating in a theatre. However, there was a space cleared at one end, in the corner of which a woman was crouched down tightening the skin of a drum. Buck grinned.

Hilene seemed to notice. "You thinking there might be singing tonight?"

Buck led them towards a table just to the side of the bar, which was on the opposite side of the room from the woman with the drum. As they sat down, Buck said, "Definitely at some point. But I want to get a feel for the room first. No point launching into the call and response if they're expecting a narrative ballad. You two gotta listen carefully with me and analyse what you hear, yeah?"

"Of course!" Victane beamed. "I promised you some strategy and you're getting some strategy."

Hilene just nodded and got up to get drinks.

"Is he okay?" Buck asked. "He's been going quiet now and then, just like that. Like, when we were going to sleep last night. Normally that wouldn't be weird for Hilene, but after he got all chatty that night on the way out from the city..."

Victane glanced over his shoulder. Buck could see past him that Hilene was stuck in a bustling, disorderly queue.

Victane turned back around. "I should probably tell you that Hilene's not as big a fan of strategy as the two of us. It's actually one of the reasons he's excited about a change of scene. There's a lot of scheming and secrets in the city. I think he's just excited that he no longer has to be careful what he says."

Buck rocked backwards slightly. "Oh... So that's why he got so chatty. He'd kept himself all pent up. I thought maybe he'd suddenly been hit by a wave of curiosity. And then he went quiet again..."

"When the plotting started again," Victane said, "Exactly."

"But you enjoy plotting, scheming, strategy, and such?" Buck asked, his voice going slightly high pitched.

Victane smiled with one side of his mouth. "I enjoy seeing your spirits raised, young man."

Buck sighed slightly, satisfied with four questions successfully answered in a day. He'd tick them off on his parchment before bed, but for the moment he reached up to accept a flagon from Hilene.

Hilene shook his head rapidly as he sat down. "Gods, I miss my uniform. Usually takes me five seconds to get served."

Buck tilted his head to the side. "Do you think that'd get you drinks quicker out here?"

Hilene was quiet for a moment, and Buck worried he'd strayed too close to strategic discussion of power struggles. But a moment later, Hilene said, "Huh. I guess I never came to a place like this. I spent all my time in the palace music hall and the bar there."

No wonder you couldn't get away from the scheming, Buck thought. That room has gossip for cobwebs.

Buck observed the trends in the music silently as the performances began. First was the woman with her drum, beating it slowly at first, then faster and faster until her hands were a blur. Next was a man who just stood up and told jokes, the delivery of which also seemed to get faster as the performance went on. Then there was a young boy doing magic tricks, who at one point seemed to make fire come out of his eyes and shoot up into the ceiling, causing no damage whatsoever. All in all, still pretty Resadorian.

"Alright," Buck said, standing up and clapping his hands together. "I'm going to do a drinking song!"

He made his way to the empty space where the performances had been going on and spoke to a woman with short red hair who seemed to be handling the schedule.

"Ah, you're just in time, my friend. That was our last pre-scheduled performance." She smiled, showing well-kept white teeth. "And what name shall I announce you by?"

With minimal hesitation, Buck said, "Buttane, please."

"Wonderful, wonderful," she said. Buck noticed she was elongating some of her vowels in a rather sing-song voice. Very Resadorian indeed... the day's travel really hadn't brought them that far at all.

The woman announced him a moment later. He hurriedly got his possessions his bucket - Simone hidden in the dark fabric - then turned it upside down to make himself a drum. The song was easy enough for the crowd to pick it up, though he noticed with interest that they didn't already know it. In Resador, it was a widely known opening to a night of drinking.

After he finished the last cry of "and hurrah for all the trees!" there was widespread clapping and laughing, and he was waved over to the nearest table. He grinned as a drink was immediately pushed towards him and settled in for a long, merry evening of intelligence gathering.

That evening, he dragged himself sleepily upstairs to the room he'd rented for the night. He'd got a twin room for the two guards and a single for himself, figuring that they could maybe use a bit of time to chat. They seemed to know each other well, and would know what each other needed. Besides, they both went to bed much earlier than him.

He kicked off his shoes and plonked himself down onto the bed, curling his legs up in a basket. Then he grabbed the parchment and quill out of the bucket, taking Simone out too to give her a little air, and ticked off the four questions.

Question one: why was Hilene suddenly so curious? Answer: he'd been holding in all his chatter for fear of saying something wrong in a city where words built traps, where possible, marriages. Question two: why was Hilene upset before bed? Answer: he didn't like the return of the scheming. Question three: why had Victane been quiet outside? That one had been answered what felt like a long time ago, early in the morning. Answer: he was leaving the city where his daughter grew up. Question four: did Victane want to help with planning? Answer: it was more about seeing Buck happy, because Buck reminded him of his daughter.

"Wowee, Simone, busy day today, eh?" Buck whistled through his teeth. "And that's before I even note down the bar room chat I picked up through the night. Most of it was curiosity about what Erson's spending so long doing in the city. There were also rumours about a disagreement between the prince and a servant. Did you hear that, Simone? A servant! That's what I've been reduced to."

He tutted a little more as he took down his notes, leaving plenty of space for notes from the rest of the nights on the road. He also wrote himself a reminder to limit his alcohol intake going forward. He didn't lose his ability to take information on board as he drank, but he certainly couldn't operate with multiple hangovers day after day.

"Well, Simone, what do you think?" he said, as he stripped to his undergarments and pulled the covers over himself. He put the bucket on the ground and, tapping it three times, said, "Seem like a decent... rhythm?"

Simone looked up at him, then turned around and went back in the folds of the dark fabric. Buck chuckled at her continued disdain of puns, then blew out the candle by his bedside and went to sleep.


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Tue Jun 23, 2020 12:45 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)

And the sixth chapter comes to a close. One more chapter to the halfway point.

First Impression: And we get to see Buck in action gathering some information. So some good development there.

Anyway let's get on with it,

"I'd head this way for the evening," Victane said eventually, bringing his horse to a stop. There was a track just wide enough for the three of them to go abreast. It headed into the treeline, and Buck couldn't see far along it.

"Is there somewhere to sleep?" he asked.

"An inn, aye," Victane said. "We can get some drinks and a proper bed."


So that means Victane at least has been out of the city before if he knows about what looks to be a fairly hidden place.

"Of course!" Victane beamed. "I promised you some strategy and you're getting some strategy."


Well that sounds like fun except we did not see Victane do much strategy in the rest of the chapter. It sounded like Buck was the only one who did anything.

Victane turned back around. "I should probably tell you that Hilene's not as big a fan of strategy as the two of us. It's actually one of the reasons he's excited about a change of scene. There's a lot of scheming and secrets in the city. I think he's just excited that he no longer has to be careful what he says."


Any reason why Hillene didn't simply leave if he was that uncomfortable in the scheming of the city?

"But you enjoy plotting, scheming, strategy, and such?" Buck asked, his voice going slightly high pitched.

Victane smiled with one side of his mouth. "I enjoy seeing your spirits raised, young man."


That's should be an interesting character trait going forward.

Hilene was quiet for a moment, and Buck worried he'd strayed too close to strategic discussion of power struggles. But a moment later, Hilene said, "Huh. I guess I never came to a place like this. I spent all my time in the palace music hall and the bar there."

No wonder you couldn't get away from the scheming, Buck thought. That room has gossip for cobwebs.


Well that must have been a hard life.

Then there was a young boy doing magic tricks, who at one point seemed to make fire come out of his eyes and shoot up into the ceiling, causing no damage whatsoever. All in all, still pretty Resadorian.


That's definitely a very interesting magic trick. Its certainly the first instance of any kind of magic in this fantasy story that has so far only mentioned magic in the father's thing and his tree.

"Wonderful, wonderful," she said. Buck noticed she was elongating some of her vowels in a rather sing-song voice. Very Resadorian indeed... the day's travel really hadn't brought them that far at all.


I think that last line is a little unnecessary because all the Resadorian references do a good enough job of implying that.

The woman announced him a moment later. He hurriedly got his possessions his bucket - Simone hidden in the dark fabric - then turned it upside down to make himself a drum.


I think you meant his possessions out of his bucket.

They seemed to know each other well, and would know what each other needed. Besides, they both went to bed much earlier than him.


So he knows that they go to bed early but he only thinks that they seem to be good friends. Seems like that's something that he would know for sure. Also I would like to see if Victance actually helped in any information gathering.

Question one: why was Hilene suddenly so curious? Answer: he'd been holding in all his chatter for fear of saying something wrong in a city where words built traps, where possible, marriages. Question two: why was Hilene upset before bed? Answer: he didn't like the return of the scheming. Question three: why had Victane been quiet outside? That one had been answered what felt like a long time ago, early in the morning. Answer: he was leaving the city where his daughter grew up. Question four: did Victane want to help with planning? Answer: it was more about seeing Buck happy, because Buck reminded him of his daughter.


This paragraph is a little wierdly structured. It doesn't flow well. Maybe split each question into its own paragraph.

Simone looked up at him, then turned around and went back in the folds of the dark fabric. Buck chuckled at her continued disdain of puns, then blew out the candle by his bedside and went to sleep.


That's a pretty nice ending.

And that is it for this chapter.

Overall: We learn a few more things about our two side characters and it looks like Buck is back in action. Again I don't see him remembering his friends at all even once he is in a tavern. That should've dredged up at least couple of memories of fun times.

As always take what you think is helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




ExOmelas says...


Hey, thanks for all the reviews again! I think you've picked up a couple of times on something that I have a pretty bad habit of, which is entirely forgetting logistics in favour of goofs xD Thanks for picking up on things that don't entirely make sense, will make sure to figure things out in edits :P

Thanks again! :D



KateHardy says...


Your Welcome!! I can relate. If I did not run my stuff by a friend or two before posting I would end up with some hilariously unrealistic logistics. :)



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Mon Mar 30, 2020 12:37 am
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Ventomology wrote a review...



Hello! Finally made it back.

As Jabber already said, it's really wonderful to see Buck fully in his element like this. I don't think we ever really got to see the intersection of performance and intel-gathering before now, since they seemed to often happen separately. I know so much is already written, but I hope it stays this way for a bit!

I like the way we learn about these other characters, where we get a conclusion based on real observations in the story, and I can't help but feel like there's a lot of opportunity here to mislead your readers. Of course, Buck is going to make his own conclusions, and these become our conclusions, and I kind of hope we get to a point where he messes it up big time.

That being said, as much as I like the whole query-observation-conclusion thing, I think there's probably a better way to format it textually? Reading through Buck's conclusions was fun, but the paragraph itself just looks so weird. Obviously there are limits with layout on YWS, but I would encourage you to think about different ways of listing out the questions and conclusions.

Great chapter, as usual though! Hopefully I'll be a little quicker on the catch up from here on out.

Best,
-Vento




ExOmelas says...


Yeah, I was talking about that paragraph with JabberHut and I have an idea. I write out a checklist on yellowing physical paper. Take a photo. Imgur. Image bbcode tag! I'm quite excited by the idea. Might even get my fountain pen involved xD

Thanks for the review :D

slight spoilers as a response to the question about Buck getting it wrong at some point
Spoiler! :
I don't think I've had him get anything explicitly wrong yet but he's thoroughly confused about something. There's a plan for him to be tragically wrong about something later, though not in such an explicit sense of him gathering information and coming to a wrong conclusion.



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Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:35 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



YAY STRATEGY!!

My favorite part of this whole thing is seeing Buck back in his normal element of singing in bars and having a good time without really losing sight of what's important (i.e., gathering intel here). It's kind of a good reminder to us of when we first met Buck as well as the bar scene where he sung his hastily-written song. Now we see the side of Buck where he's doing all of these things we know him to do with a solid understanding of the nature of bars.

I think I did a bad job of explaining what I mean BUT I BASICALLY LIKED THIS A LOT. I like seeing Buck in his element again. And Victane is super sweet about it, too. He basically outright said that he enjoys seeing Buck happy, not that he enjoys scheming, and that just makes me want to hug him and love him because he is the sweetest and gentlest and just <3 <3 <3


I wonder if Victane and Hilene got their share of intel as well! At least Victane said he'd listen a bit and analyze anything he's heard. I imagine we'll hear about it the next day if he did, but I gather that there wasn't much interesting intel of note that night to hear about, so it might not have been a productive evening on that front.

I think I said this before, but I really like these questions that he challenges himself with through his journal. This is such a fun aspect to have for a character and gives them (and the reader) very short-term goals to help progress the story. In this case, we're analyzing the guards themselves and their characters, which is helping us better understand the world these characters live in and how each region might differ from the others.

The quick summary of questions at the end seemed rather abrupt and quick, almost like a built-in FAQ, but I'm also afraid of saying to stretch this out either without giving more insight. I don't want it to be a boring session of narrative either. It just felt a bit quick, or maybe last-minute or clunky. But I DID like that he made a mental reference to it earlier, about being able to tick off a question in his journal. This does give at least a little setup for the journal questions we can finally see later. I also hope these continue to be a thing later on. I feel like it gives good insight into how Buck helps himself stay on track.

And I like the joke at the end. I absolutely like the way the chapter ends here, and I think it's totally appropriate to skip along the travel sequence at the start of next chapter. It keeps things moving and relevant to the plot itself, and this chapter ends with that light humor we come to love from Buck. AND Simone continues to be a cutie and such a beautiful support group for him. <3




ExOmelas says...


Yay, I'm glad the joke worked ^.^

Yeah, the questioning didn't feel right... I think what I really want is like a picture of a piece of parchment with Buck's handwriting on it and some little squares with checkmarks in them. I might try experiment with some image editing and see what I can whip up for next time. I just think it might be a fun addition, almost like a game, to have him check off questions like achievements. I'm going for a similar vibe to D&D here so I feel like that could be really fun xD

I know you always give me loads, but I was wondering if I could ask for a specific thing... Any thoughts about Hilene? I've been trying to build up the question of why he's going quiet and chatty at different points and I was hoping it would be something of a "ohhhh that's why" when I explained what his issue was.

Thanks for the review :D



JabberHut says...


Ohhhhh dude that WOULD be cool! That would be such a fun way to dive into Buck's personality and the way he thinks and emphasizing his playful nature and omfg that would be incredible

I guess I didn't really dive into Hilene much in my review, but I did think about it after reading the segment, so I must have forgotten to include it! I like that it's making more sense of Hilene's reserved or cautious nature, and it DID make a lot of sense! Especially when one considers how the prince's disinterest in marriage was an example of how news goes around so quickly without one knowing. Hilene being extra careful with his words makes a lot of sense from my perspective, and it was kind of an AHA! moment when Victane directly explained that.

So I basically liked that this bit was confirmed about him and remained consistent with his behaviors so far! He's simply very careful of his words and actions, he's very aware of his surroundings and -- actually, he probably would be the one that shares some like crazy significant intel from the shenanigans at the bar here if there was any to be found XD that would be hilarious -- I think it pretty much helped connect the dots of what we already know about him.



ExOmelas says...


Yay, that's exactly what I was hoping for! :D




It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien