z

Young Writers Society



A Fool's Bucket - Ch. 6.2

by ExOmelas


A thin strip of light lay over one side of Buck's face when he awoke the next morning. He screwed up the eye caught in it, groaning. Sometimes the execution of an early morning plan was significantly tougher than the concoction. He'd moved his pallet a few feet before settling down to sleep so that it was directly in front of this narrow window, and he'd be woken up as soon as dawn broke. The two guards' body clocks would likely wake them soon anyway, but he probably had about half an hour. He wriggled out of the sleeping back and knelt at the side, where he'd left the bucket.

"Morning, Simone," he whispered. "You seen my notes?"

He had brought a few sheets of parchment tied together at the edges, on which he often scribbled shorthand notes about guests who came to Resador City, whom he might have to research in order to set up a plan with Pires. He turned the first page away from the notes about Erson.

"Alright... What did I learn last night?" he murmured as he wrote. "Hilene... chatty - with questions, little about self. Back to normal on way to sleep? Suggests not night owl. Victane - quiet outside, doesn't like the cold? Liked watching me plan."

Buck frowned, chewing on the end of his quill, then immediately grimacing because he'd dropped it in ink last week. He wrote down four questions to have answered by the end of the day, then stretched his legs and headed off to find the shopkeep to ask for breakfast.

There was a door to the left of the bar that the shopkeep stood behind; as Buck knocked on this, he heard footsteps approaching from behind.

“Morning, Buck,” Hilene said, giving him a quick smile. He motioned with his eyebrows towards the door. “You getting us breakfast?”

Buck nodded. Hilene was back to sentences longer than three words, it would seem. Maybe he had just needed some sleep last night. Before he could test again by asking him a question, the door swung open behind him.

“Good morning,” said the shopkeep. “I’m guessing you three would like breakfast?”

“Victane doesn’t eat breakfast,” Hilene said. “He says an extra half hour sleep gets him going better in the morning.”

The shopkeep shrugged. She adjusted her cream linen shirt which was tucked into a wide brown skirt, yawned, and scratched behind her ear. “Fair enough then. Take a seat by the bar and I’ll bring you out some eggs.”

Buck and Hilene slid onto the nearest two stools and waited for the shopkeep to re-emerge.

“I didn’t know that about Victane,” Buck said.

Hilene shrugged. “It comes up every so often when our boss offers us snacks in the morning, when he’s assigning us jobs for the day.”

Alright, definitely back to chatty. Buck rubbed the back of his neck. “I was wondering about Victane actually. He was awfully quiet on the way here.”

Hilene let out a long breath through his nose, pursing his lips. “I think he misses his daughter.”

Buck’s eyebrows shot up and he forgot his next line of enquiry. “I didn’t mean to drag him away from his family!”

“No, no. She left Resador City years ago. She’s a trader,” Hilene said. He glanced towards Victane, who was still on his side facing the fire. “But he’s leaving the home where she grew up. I think he just needed a moment.”

“Yeah, he did seem to perk up towards the end of the night,” Buck said.

“Yes,” Hilene said, as the door beside the bar opened again and the shopkeep came through, carrying three plates of eggs. That was a one word answer again, just as they were talking about the point of the night where Hilene had gone quiet. But perhaps it was just because the food had arrived. The shopkeep placed the plates down on the bar and slipped around to the other side, drawing a stool out for herself.

As they tucked in to the food, which was delicious, Hilene asked her, “What’s your name, by the way?”

“Dosine,” she said, “And you two?”

They told her their names, Buck using his true name of Buttane, and Buck made up some backstory about the audience with Erson that had earned him his place at the Royal Court. They continued their chat as they ate, but Dosine ate faster than the others, then excused herself to go get the horses ready.

As Hilene finished off some bread that had come with the toast, he said, “We should go wake Victane. But Buck… Just, you asked why Victane brightened up towards the end of the night. Well, you’re about the same age as his daughter. And I think he might see her reflected in you.”

“Aren’t the two of us the same age?”

Hilene chuckled slightly. “True, but she liked to dance. You’ve seen me dance.”

Buck laughed. “I appreciated the attempt, man! That was a fun birthday. But I get what you’re saying. I’ll be wary of that.”

Hilene smiled, wider than he had when he’d greeted Buck before breakfast. “Thank you. Right, let’s go wake him.”

Buck nodded, hopping off the stool. “You do that. I’ll go pay for the horses.”

He headed back out the front door of the hut and followed the path of flattened grass around to the back, where there was a stable attached. Dosine was tending to the three of the horses who had been led out of the stable and tied to a wooden post. Buck let out a small sigh of relief. He knew next to nothing about horses and would have struggled to pick out which three to take.

“Hey,” he called as he approached. “How much?”

“A gold each?” she asked, patting a big brown horse on the nose.

“Sure,” Buck said, wondering a moment later if he’d been expected to haggle. But Pires had set him up with plenty of money; there was no reason to offer less than Dosine seemed to find fair.

A moment later Hilene and Victane appeared at his side. Hilene grinned wide and slowly approached the brown horse.

“Can I have this one?” he asked, turning around to face Buck. Three word answers gone again.

“Of course,” Buck said. He let Victane select which of the remaining two horses he took, then slowly approached the third. He rarely left Resador, and when he did he did so in a carriage with Pires. He had little more than the basic understanding of how to ride a horse.

Once he’d handed Dosine the coins, she helped him up onto the horse. He closed his eyes and tried to remember the one time as a child he’d ridden a pony at a courtyard fair. Surely it couldn’t be that hard to remember. Muscle memory was coming back to him, here and there, and he could copy Hilene and Victane for the rest.

“Good luck!” Dosine called up.

Buck gave her a smile and wave, then mimicked the two guards as they kicked the sides of their horses and headed back towards the road.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
4129 Reviews


Points: 260826
Reviews: 4129

Donate
Tue Jun 23, 2020 11:27 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)

Continuing on

First Impression: Here we learn more about the characters of the two guards which is great and they begin their journey.

And let's begin,

A thin strip of light lay over one side of Buck's face when he awoke the next morning. He screwed up the eye caught in it, groaning. Sometimes the execution of an early morning plan was significantly tougher than the concoction. He'd moved his pallet a few feet before settling down to sleep so that it was directly in front of this narrow window, and he'd be woken up as soon as dawn broke. The two guards' body clocks would likely wake them soon anyway, but he probably had about half an hour. He wriggled out of the sleeping back and knelt at the side, where he'd left the bucket.


That's a good start. Also some good bits of humor.

Buck nodded. Hilene was back to sentences longer than three words, it would seem. Maybe he had just needed some sleep last night. Before he could test again by asking him a question, the door swung open behind him.


So has he just never had an extended conversation with Hilene before?

Buck’s eyebrows shot up and he forgot his next line of enquiry. “I didn’t mean to drag him away from his family!”

“No, no. She left Resador City years ago. She’s a trader,” Hilene said. He glanced towards Victane, who was still on his side facing the fire. “But he’s leaving the home where she grew up. I think he just needed a moment.”


Okay, this seems like something Buck should probably have known or at least asked about from the two guards before they left.

As Hilene finished off some bread that had come with the toast, he said, “We should go wake Victane. But Buck… Just, you asked why Victane brightened up towards the end of the night. Well, you’re about the same age as his daughter. And I think he might see her reflected in you.”


Why would this be the first time that this is coming up? From what was shown earlier the guards have worked together with Buck for quite some time to come up with all sorts of plots.

“Sure,” Buck said, wondering a moment later if he’d been expected to haggle. But Pires had set him up with plenty of money; there was no reason to offer less than Dosine seemed to find fair.


Here we have to wonder how Pires managed to get away with that. Wouldn't a significant amount of money being given away be noticed and be considered a little odd to be given to someone who was banished from the court.

Buck gave her a smile and wave, then mimicked the two guards as they kicked the sides of their horses and headed back towards the road.


And we're off. I wonder how long this journey is going to take.

And that is it for this chapter. Another somewhat short review with this being a pretty short segement.

Overall: We learn a couple of things about Victane and Hillene which is good because it looks like they will become fairly important in the times to come. Also nice humor as usual. One thing though is that Buck seems to have just totally forgotten about his friends. I'd expect him to remember them at least a couple of times before he eventually starts to think of them less. Here as soon as Buck left the city hall he stopped thinking about his other friends.

As always take what you think will help and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




User avatar
557 Reviews


Points: 33593
Reviews: 557

Donate
Sun Mar 22, 2020 6:47 pm
View Likes
Ventomology wrote a review...



Hello hello! Sorry for the long wait.

Maybe this is just me mis-remembering things, but I wonder if Bucket would have known more about the guards already, since he's been in contact with them regularly for a while. Sure, we often don't learn obvious things (like whether or not they have children) about people until we get stuck with them for longer than a daily greeting, but at that point you kind of expect a comment about the situation. Like, "wow, we've known each other for years and I never knew that" kind of talk.

That aside, it is really interesting to learn about people through Bucket's perspective. Something about his narration, and the way he talks about taking notes, really drives home that everything we know about other characters comes from Bucket's impressions of them, and not objective facts. Somehow you make that so clear and yet so seamless, and I really love it!

Planning on getting through a fair number of these chapters today, so we'll leave this where it's at. On to the next one!

Hope this helps,
-Vento




ExOmelas says...


Hmmm... I've been thinking sort of on a level with how much a school pupil might know about a janitor? But on the other hand in that metaphor Buck would be more like a teacher, since they've clearly worked together to put events on before. Thanks for raising this ^.^ (And thanks for the review :D)



User avatar
1464 Reviews


Points: 83957
Reviews: 1464

Donate
Mon Dec 30, 2019 2:07 pm
View Likes
JabberHut wrote a review...



Oooh, we got so much Hilene in this one. It actually made me laugh how Victane was so excited about morning shenanigans with Buck, then proceeded to just sleep late anyway. XD SO MUCH FOR THAT PLAN!

But getting so much Hilene was awesome, and I like how you are straightening out the night owl vs early bird here. It only strengthens their partnership, I think, as they complement each other even more with that little trait. A carefully crafted dynamic!

And we learn so much about VICTANE through Hilene. I never would've guessed Hilene would be the one telling us these details, but I love it. And he seems to genuinely care about Victane. In fact, he's incredibly observant to make the conclusion that Victane sees his own daughter in Buck. AND HE EVEN CRACKED JOKES about his own dancing! He's got such a charming side to him omg don't make me fall for him.

Even though there wasn't really anyone for Buck to get information from, they clearly struck up conversation with the shopkeeper Dosine, and she seems like an excellent resource. If anything, she would have opinions on Erson and his court, which would be fascinating to hear.

I half expected one of the guards to have, like, incredible negotiating skills and step in to haggle for Buck. Victane maybe. He's a father, he'd know something about looking for the best deals. PAPA VICTANE TO THE RESCUE!

omg if Buck's horse goes crazy i'm gonna shriek ;_; I really like that you address Buck's history with horses, though. So often, writers forget that horse-riding requires a certain amount of experience as well as a trained horse. I appreciate that attention to detail. ^^

As a final side note, I am TOTALLY CURIOUS as to what the four questions are that Buck wanted to answer. I actually expected the end of this segment to verify that Buck answered one. Or maybe one of those questions was to confirm why Hilene was chatty (re: because he's an early bird).

Anyhoot, not much happening here, but we're keeping things moving! That's all that really matters at this point. :D I imagine this scene will be revisited given that not much has really happened, but we DID get a good dose of Hilene and Victane (despite Victane being asleep), and I think that alone is worth the effort.




ExOmelas says...


Oooops I completely forgot that Victane and Buck were meant to do morning shenanigans. This was a very rushed segment worked around Christmas xD This will definitely be a chapter that sees a bit of reworking. Probably next week's too since it will be informed by what happened this week. I was hoping to have them reach the court at the end of the next chapter but unless they get there in basically a day's riding... at which point how big of a deal is it really that Erson has come all the way down there in the first place? I think I might stick the fast travel overview onto the start of chapter 7? Idk I'll see how it goes with Buck answering the rest of his questions (he's answered 1 and a half so far, reveal will be coming shortly ^.^)



JabberHut says...


I had a feeling that might be the case! :D

That's a good point about the travel time! If it's a long ways, then I think a time skip will just have to be put in, considering the nature of this novel's plot. It can be however long, but it would certainly make more sense if it's further away.




Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?
— Homer Simpson