The Heart's Song and the Brain's Tune

Hello! This is a cool poem, so let me get into some more detailed feedback.

I like the way you broke up each phase of life and its corresponding sentiments into small sections. Each one is short, but gets to the point. I noticed a rhyming element as well! Also, what each section contains correlates well to its respective phase of life. It seems you've touched just about every big point of life that many people will experience.

Once it got to the old age section, I got a little confused. The rhyme scheme seemed to drift off, and the second line of this couplet(?) was way longer than the first, as opposed to the previous sections where both lines were not too contrasting as far as length. I'd suggest possibly tweaking it so it stays consistent with the rest of the poem.

I didn't realize right away that those last two lines at the end are kind of a paired couplet as well, but then I noticed that in fact they are. With the way I was thrown off with the old age section, this part also seemed disjointed, but that could just be a me thing. Maybe it is because there's that extra space between those last two lines, whereas all the previous sections had no space between rhyming lines. But perhaps you intended it to be as it is, and I wouldn't say it's necessarily a bad thing. One thing it does seem to accomplish is creating a sense of reflection as the piece comes to an end.

Overall, nice work! Keep it up.

This is a fantastic poem! Your use of poetry moves each section along by adding fluidity and humor. I particularly love how, as the poem progresses, the heart and brain become more divided. It is also noticeable how the use of bold lines adds to the stages of life defining feelings. Overall this is a very fun, yet moving, poem about the conflict between heart and brain. I hope you continue your writing journey, you have great promise.

This is so realistic! I feel myself having some of these conversations word for word. For example when you wrote

In Student Life:
Brain urges, "Focus! Achieve your dreams."
Heart whispers, "But I crave fun and sweet schemes."

In Childhood:
Brain says, "Skip school today."
Heart replies, "Right! Who goes every day?"

OMG this is sooo damn true. I think we all suffer a daily battle between our heart and mind. While our mind asks us to get up and get our work done, our heart just wants to enjoy a little more. It's so tough to decide on
who to listen to. The brain thinks practically and logically while the heart is all carefree. And it actually saddens me that if you really want to achieve something in life then you have to cage the voices of your heart. It's actually what's happening with me. What I want, what my heart wants, I know I can never get it. So I have to quiet down the voices of my heart till they completely drown. I can honestly relate with this poem so so so much. It's a really nice piece of art

Oooh I love this!! Thank you so much for sharing this! Let me get right into this! I love how you took this tour of the human brain and heart and how they interact. In the beginning of your early years there really isn't really a difference. The brain is not yet developed enough to cause conflict and it much acts the same way the heart does in the way that it does what feels good to the little person.

But as they get older, conflict begins. My goodness do I remember going through the conflict that you mentioned under Student Life. It was always brain telling me to work and heart telling me to do something fun. I think honestly personality really starts to show here. A lot of personality is in a sense developed by how much one listens to their heart vs their mind. You really opened the way to a lot of reflection on that point. Nicely done!

Now that first date part. Incredibly realistic as far as I know! That's a HUGE point of conflict between the mind and the heart. And it's so crucial that the person focus on both heart and brain during that time. I love how you intertwine so many common life stresses and struggles into how the conversation plays out in your head between what you WANT to do and what you HAVE to do. You really developed all of that conflict in only two lines, but I knew exactly what you were talking about. Wow!!

Now after breakup: the brain does tend to be very critical and harsh on an already broken soul. I can't relate to this in a romantic way (I have never dated) but this is definitely the dialogue after a great personal regret. This is such a sensitive time, too! And the brain just goes right into self-attack mode to try to protect the heart from this heartbreak again, but the heart isn't ready for that yet. Well said!

And adulthood! Absolutely there right now as I read this haha. But I feel like the roles are reversed. I feel like it's more (for me personally) my heart telling me to spread my wings and my brain saying "no do the reasonable safe thing and take this dive slowly." I feel like the urge to be independent is almost like a feeling, but so is wanting to do what the parents want so I guess that's kind of both feelings? But early adulthood is a lot of that so... (Just some random comments, don't mind me over theorizing this whole thing xD)

And there goes the brain being so critical and telling the woman "you can waitttt" and the heart going "too late! Ugh I should have listened to you!" The brain does have a lot of sense that the heart finds hard to take. @_@

Now interestingly, after kids, the brain takes a sympathetic side and says that there's still so much to look forward to. That's logic. The heart is stuck in the present just trying to survive. Here again the heart is in trouble. Again the same thing happens in middle age.

The irony is that at first the brain seems so critical, but then it becomes a source of positivity grounded in logic for the heart overburdened by the toll of being a wife and mother. Interesting.

But then the brain says there is no point at the end of life and heart still has the vigor to carry on as it's the part with the passion for life and the brain is too rooted in the fact that death is coming. Very well thought out here.

Overall, loved this psychological analysis here! It's so short and simple but it really invites the reader to reflect. Definitely another of my fav YWS works! Keep notifying me when you write! You're awesome!!
-Kaia

I'm not sure if i should call this a poem or not, but it is in a very different style. I like how at first the Brain is correct, but the older the protagonist gets the more mature the heart is, and the more selfish the brain becomes. In the beginning they are both in harmony, but they change more and more. The heart wanting to be there for her kids, while the brain has the more analytical view of wanting more, while at first it was the heart who didn't want to do her responsibility, later the brain rejects her own. I find this very interesting. Happy writing!

-hope