Me Time..

Hello! I have arrived to review for you! Let's get started!
I found this poem to be quite relatable as a recent nursing graduate, I never failed to feel this during my time in nursing school. But all that aside.

I love how you didn't capitalize student, and I think I may see a reason behind that. That is something of the past that stole away the time of this person. However "test" is emboldened, making me think that perhaps this line is also a bit of symbolism as the character is being tested to a maximum by everything that steals away precious "me time."

"Where responsibility looms like a shadow." Those words hit deeply because that is so true. You can't go through life as an adult without trying to juggle a thousand responsibilities, dates, times, and places. And you summed all of that up so nicely in that line! Great job!

And then a second great line about weaving a home for her husband. There is something very painstaking about weaving. I think probably because I associate that with a lot of time spent. So yes, I think that is the perfect word to use there. That nicely illustrates what you are talking about and of course the world always demands more!!

painted with the of my precious little ones.

"the of" had me confused. I think maybe you left out a word? But the imagery is beautiful. She is painted with children. And paint is something so beautiful but so messy. What a great word choice for kids!

I understand by the end of the poem that despite the characters hard work she is quite exhausted. Yet, she seems to love her life and have no serious regrets, she is only tired. I hope this mom can get a break soon because that long list of things going on sounds like a lot! Overall, quite enjoyed the read and don't really have any other recommendations.

(Also, I would love to know why student didn't get capitalized as I believe there was purpose to this and am not QUITE sure I got the meaning behind that.)

Hope this helps!
-Kaia

Hai :3

I love this poem so much!! It resonates with that deep, soul-stirring longing for identity and space, and the structure of it really adds to that!! The bolded words especially stood out to me. Like, the way you have all of the roles, and each one captures that constant evolution and the weight of expectations. The transitions from one phase of life to the next feel gradual, but with a subtle tension, almost like each new role is an additional burden layered on top of the last!! It's like I can feel the narrator struggling to breathe beneath all those layers, which is so cool!!

when will I find my own time?

This is a really strong anchor!! It's simple, but it works. It sets up this sense of urgency that echoes throughout the poem. Every role is framed by this silent yearning, which is so relatable, especially the idea of sacrificing vitality. That line hit hard ~~ It's so visceral, like we can physically feel the draining, the giving up of youth and energy. I feel like that's a common theme, but it's hard to overuse in poetry!! It's this gorgeous balancing act between love and sacrifice here, and it makes the piece feel so real. I can reach into the scene and truly feel everything!!

^^^ Speaking of the roles though, which come shortly after, they're listed out in a way that makes it feel like the poem is building up this sense of overwhelming responsibility. The transition between these roles could feel smoother!! Right now, I think it reads a bit like a checklist, which takes away from the emotional weight you have. Maybe adding a bit more narrative flow between them, like how one role shifts or bleeds into the next, could create a more cohesive reading experience!! How do they connect in this context? What's the significance to you?

In that sacred space of me time,
To rediscover myself I’ve left behind.

!!! This is so vulnerable, I love it!!

This feels like the heart of the whole poem!! That desire for "me time" is such a raw need, but it’s almost bittersweet, like the narrator isn’t just asking for it ~~ They’re aching for it. I love how the dream of another life isn’t some grand escape, but it's just a space where they can breathe. It’s so subtle but powerful!! It's like a quiet, beautiful rebellion against everything that demands too much. I can see that speaking to so many people, and it speaks to me. It's succinct, yes, but it's so good!!

- Payton