In a small and quiet town there lived a woman named Riya. She often heard people talk about their mothers’ food—the love and care it carried, the comfort it brought, and how no chef in the world could match its taste. Riya had always listened quietly, nodding along, though she didn’t truly understand. She had a mother and father like everyone else, but her home never felt like others described. She always felt like a guest, distant and alone in her own house.
Riya hoped things would change when she got married. She thought maybe just maybe, she’d feel the care her elder sister once had or the warmth she had longed for. But life had different plans. After her wedding, her parents cut her off completely. She wasn’t part of their world anymore. They didn’t call didn’t ask didn’t care—or so it seemed.
Now, Riya had a child of her own. Every day, she poured all her love into the meals she cooked for her little one. She would carefully chop the vegetables, stir the pot with patience and serve it with a smile, hoping her child would feel the love she’d missed her entire life.
But in the quiet moments, when her child was asleep and the house was still, Riya would sit alone and wonder. Did her mother ever think about her? Did she ever care? The memories that came to mind weren’t soft or loving. Her mother’s voice often echoed with harsh words and curses, words that cut deep. There were even times she wished Riya wasn’t there at all.
Riya asked herself, **Am I that bad? Did I do something wrong?* *She couldn’t understand why she felt like an outsider in her own family. Sometimes she thought it might’ve been better to have no parents at all than to have ones who made her feel so unloved.
She knew the past couldn’t be changed. Her parents would likely remain as they were, distant and cold. But deep in her heart, she still carried a small wish—a longing to feel the warmth of a mother’s love, just once. She didn’t want perfection; she just wanted a moment, a single moment, where she could feel what others talked about.
For now, she focused on her child. She decided that her child would never feel the emptiness she did. Every meal, every hug, every word would be filled with love. Riya might not have known what it felt like to be truly cared for but she would make sure her child never felt the same pain. And in giving that love she hoped to heal a little piece of her own heart.
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,748 Reviews
Hi again Alwaysea! Icy here again for another review.
This is a very short piece, but again feels kid of fairy-tale like in quality. Or perhaps fable like. I feel right from the start that I'm going to learn a lesson through this piece and I *almost* do, though I think the length of this piece means that it stops somewhat abruptly.
The themes you explore flow well, with Riya transferring the love she feels she missed from her parents to her child. This is definitely something that can be relatable, but I'd like to see some of her actual interactions with her child. I think we see a snippet of her love in this line:
but beyond that I feel separated from what's being talked about because they're slightly more abstract thoughts from Riya.
I think to improve I'd like to see a moment of clarity, where Riya realises that she doesn't have to fix her relationship with her parents in order to love her child. That way, we'd have something of a character arc in this work and Riya would have changed her misbelief from the start of the story. That progression is what moves the story along.
I think you have a really good foundation here, and something to build on if you so choose.
Hope this helped!
Icy
Thankyou so much Icy...wil sure do
Hello!
I want to start off by saying that this was a really nice story. This story was interesting, sweet, sad and also inspiring, it is about a woman named Riya, who yearned for the mother's love that she had always heard about, but never experienced for herself. It showcases the feelings of not growing up with motherly love and wanting to become the best parent possible to heal the part of you that never experienced it yourself. But there is also a sad part to the story, with Riya wondering if she did something wrong as to be undeserving of that parental love.
Through your writing, you really convey the emotions that Riya is feeling in the story to the readers. It feels like you're experiencing the same things she is, and you really gain a deep sense of empathy for her as you learn her story. Your writing has a certain feeling to it; It almost feels like a fairy tale or some kind of fable, which I deeply enjoyed. It adds to that inspirational and hopeful feeling that I mentioned earlier.
To sum it all up, this was a great and quite heartfelt story. I loved reading it and think you did a great job writing this!
Thankyou so much the reading..
Let's analyze this piece using a modified Graham Cracker method, focusing on structure, voice, and impact. We'll adapt it slightly to suit the narrative's length.
The Crust (Structure): The story follows a clear chronological structure, moving from Riya's childhood longing for maternal love, through her marriage and estrangement from her parents, to her determination to provide a loving home for her own child. This progression is effective, creating a strong sense of character development and emotional arc. However, the final paragraph feels somewhat abrupt. Expanding on Riya's feelings after making this decision for her child would add emotional depth and a more satisfying conclusion.
The Filling (Voice): The narrative voice is compassionate and empathetic, allowing the reader to understand and sympathize with Riya's pain. The internal monologue reveals Riya's vulnerabilities and self-doubt, making her a relatable and compelling protagonist. The descriptive language, particularly regarding food and the contrast between Riya's actions and her internal conflict, is evocative and enhances the emotional impact. The use of questions like "Am I that bad?" directly engages the reader and amplifies Riya's emotional turmoil.
The Icing (Impact): The story's impact stems from its exploration of the universal desire for maternal love and the lasting effects of childhood experiences. Riya's journey highlights the resilience of the human spirit and the power of breaking cycles of neglect. The contrast between the harsh reality of her upbringing and her determined efforts to provide a loving environment for her child is particularly poignant. The unresolved question of her mother's feelings, and the lingering sadness despite her resolve, leave a lasting impression on the reader, inviting reflection on the complexities of family relationships.