I always wonder about this, especially when I’m up early, running around trying to get everything done. I wake up before the sun, making sure everyone has what they need, while all I really want is a few more hours of sleep. If I were a boy, would I get to stay in bed a little longer? Would I get the luxury of just existing without feeling like I’m always needed for something?
Maybe, if I were a boy, I wouldn’t have to feel like my education is a constant “investment” that has to pay off. I could just study what I love without worrying if my parents are going to look at me and think, “Is this worth it?” It feels like I always have to prove something, like there’s a scoreboard of effort and achievement.
I think about how, when I’m sick, I’m still expected to carry on. No one’s bringing me warm soup or telling me to rest. Instead, I take a pill, push through the day, and pretend everything’s fine. But what if I were a boy? Would I be allowed to rest? Would they take care of me the way I always take care of them when they need it?
And what about love? I dream about being able to choose someone I truly care about, without anyone questioning it. What if I were a boy? Could I marry the person I love without feeling like I’m some kind of disappointment if things don’t go according to their plan? Would I be free to choose for myself, without worrying about being a “burden” to my family?
What if I were a man? Could I decide if I wanted children, without anyone’s opinion getting in the way? Sometimes I wonder if being a man would make me feel more in control of my own life, instead of always thinking about what others expect of me.
But here’s the thing— I always put my family first. I think about them constantly, always trying to meet their needs. He, on the other hand, thinks about what society wants from him, how things look to the outside world. It’s exhausting, this constant balancing act. If I were a man,maybe I wouldn’t have to carry the weight of everyone’s expectations so heavily on my shoulders.
Sometimes, I wish I could be a bird. Just fly away, far from the nest, never having to come back. No worries, no responsibilities, no judgments. Just freedom. Maybe, just maybe, that would give me the space to breathe, to live without always wondering, “What if I were born a boy?”
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Oh wow! This is a very well worded perspective that touches on many familiar concepts. Things that are expected as the bare minimum in girls are highly praised anomalies in boys. Including the double standard of how someone should be treated when their sick, really added a more gender neutral appeal. As anyone should understand that people should be taken care of when they're sick, or maybe being "sick" could be extended to the feelings of just needing a little more help. Something to think about..🙃 I especially enjoyed the first paragraph, this sentence in particular:
"Would I get the luxury of just existing without feeling like I’m always needed for something?"
This was a great connection to the simple idea that 'growing' boys should sleep in longer. I was not, in fact, expecting that and the realization hit me hard. If something is needed, in my experience, the girls should be the ones to get it done. A difficult group project? Grandma needs a glass of water? The heads turn towards girls. We are presumed to be productive people, when we are not then the girl is 'lazy,' but that 'lazy' girl would be considered an average boy.
As far as corrections involving grammar, the only thing I saw:
"If I were a man,maybe I ....."
Which is a really simple fix. While there are so many more hardships that could be added to this, I like that the ideas chosen were concentrated towards the main focus of family pressures. Girls, in many cultures, are expected to be rooted towards their family. It's acceptable for a boy to take off, but the double standard shows that when a girl leaves, she is cold-hearted. Out of all the issues, I believe this is the most prominent one and a perfect choice. Good read <3
Thankyou so much angstyteen...and thanks for the advice really appreciate %uD83D%uDE03
It’s a breath of fresh air seeing this kind of dialogue. As a male, I’m looked at as a provider rather than a caretaker. My worth is measured by what I can offer, not by how much I care.
My version of "Am I still worth it?" is going 100 miles an hour down the freeway—if I hit a pothole, I’m erased. And if I don’t? It means I’m still valued, cosmically speaking. It’s an endless test, one with no clear finish line, where existence itself feels conditional on performance.
I can’t show tears. I can’t show weakness. If I do, I’m seen as less of a man, as though emotions strip me of my worth. So instead, we’re told to man up, get over it, pull yourself together, grow a pair. And society? It applauds that kind of resilience. Hurray for emotional suppression.
But I never really looked at it from the other side of the mirror.
I never thought about the other side—what defines the value of a woman? If a man is weighed by what he provides, then what does a woman bring to the table? And more importantly, why are we even measuring worth like this in the first place?
Men are expected to bring strength, protection, provision. Women are expected to bring care, nurture, sacrifice. Two different currencies of worth, but both equally limiting. Both forcing people into roles they didn’t necessarily choose.
If a man’s worth is reduced to his ability to provide, does that mean without status, wealth, or usefulness, he is nothing? And if a woman’s worth is tied to her ability to nurture, does that mean without sacrifice, without putting others first, she is failing at her role?
Where’s the freedom in that?
Maybe the real problem isn’t who has it harder—it’s the fact that anyone has to live under a system that constantly asks, Are you enough? Maybe worth shouldn't be something we measure at all.
Maybe we’re all just trying to exist in a world that keeps telling us we have to earn our right to be here.
Thankyou so much