E - Everyone

I Don't Want to be perfectt....

I never wanted to change,
Nor adjust, nor sacrifice—
Yet still, I've done all that’s asked,
And still, no one’s satisfied.

I crave to watch my favorite shows,
To cry my sorrows out alone,
Without the judging stares and words,
Of how I waste my time on my own.

I long to eat what calls my name,
Without the whispers, the silent shame:
"You're already full, how much more?"
As though my hunger’s something to deplore.

I wish to clean at my own pace,
Without the scorn of a messy space,
To feel no judgment, no harsh sound,
Just a peaceful, quiet ground.

I want to order what I please,
No worry for the endless tease—
"Money’s tight, what’s all this for?"
As if my choices aren’t worth more.

I long to live my life my way,
Even if I miss a thing today,
No comparison, no cruel light—
Just the peace of knowing I’m alright.

I crave to feel enough, to be
The one he sees and loves to see,
But still, I feel I’m not his best,
A shadow lost in the world's grand test.

I wish to speak without the fight,
To share my thoughts without the spite,
To voice my truth without the cost
Of losing peace or feeling lost.

All women are perfect but I am not free,
Living with him accepting what will be.
Why can't his love reflect what I give,
When I endure through the joy and the sieve?

I work and give, without a rest,
A donkey, they say—no time to invest
In my own heart, my own relief,
I only ask for some belief.

I want to be simple, calm and free
Not to be someone I’m not meant to be.
I am me and that is enough,
In my own world, I’m strong enough.

Comments & reviews · 5
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Hey there!

I honestly just wanna start this off by saying how stunning this poetic piece is. It speaks truth and it holds a feeling of pain. That want and need for people to see you as who you are. To at least recognize your flaws and accept them instead of forcing you to change/fix them to be "perfect".

In this world, perfect doesn't exist. It never did. We, as humans, were not made to be perfect and it sucks that some people just don't get that. But we also can't force those people to see it the way we do. Some people are too up in their own head to see it, so we gotta leave it to them to figure it out on their own.

This piece itself holds a strong string that pulls at my heart. It's relatable, and relatable things make such beautiful art. This is a prime example of it. You kept your stanzas short, but the rhyme still stuck. The words ran in my mind over and over as I read through it. That's a wonderful thing to accomplish in a poetic piece. Good job to you!

I love how there were a few parts of the poem that stuck out. Didn't quite rhyme, but still lined up with how the tale you told flowed. It gives out the idea that this poem was intentionally made NOT to be a repetitive piece. Like how most poems follow a certain order, you DON'T. That makes this piece so wonderful. The fact that you made it your own and didn't make it rhyme! You made it stand out in such a beautiful way!

Overall, I love this piece. I would read this to my friends, and tell them about it if they actually enjoyed reading. This is so beautiful.

Keep writing! <3
~Taost

Hii....thank you so much for the wonderful review and thanks for reading it to your friends. I would love to hear their views.

User avatar
veranet
Review
veranet wrote a review · Fri Dec 27, 2024 3:32 am

To start, I love the lines you used. They were short but still had that great impact of meaning metaphorically and literally. They somewhat rhymed and some didn't but I like the non-perfect aspect as it adds to the entire moral theme you have going on in the words. I love how each line feels effortless even though I know there was much thought behind it. I loved the poem overall and would read to others. A great message behind it too while being appropriate.

First of all...you have completely understood what I was trying to say..yes the whole point is being not perfect even the poem...thanks for reading and making time for to write wonderful review %uD83D%uDE4F

This is a beautiful piece of poetry. I'm not a poet myself, nor have I have ever been a dan of poetry, so it's possible my words to you mean nothing at all. I saw the title and I was immediately drawn in. I have self image and confidence issues so I was intrigued to see what could become of this. I felt like this poem was written for me. I understand that the perspective is that of a woman's, but I think us men can relate as well. I've had my own trials to go through much of which was expressed here. I think the great thing that really helped me after reading this was the message at the end. "I am me and that is enough, In my own world, I'm strong enough." Thank you for this gentle reminder today that I don't have to be what everyone else expects, but that I can be enough by being me.

Thankyou so much for the wonderful review......living as per society norms is very difficult but we always have to remember yes it is enough just to be ourselves..you're strong %u263A

User avatar
AmberMelanie
Review

Alwaysea~
I really love this poem! I especially like how applicable and relatable it is to young adults. Growing up, I think a lot of people can relate to the hateful comments from society and others, even though they might not speak out about it. This poem is very "vulnerable" in that way; I mean "vulnerable" in a good way. It is honest and admirable. I especially like the last stanza; "I want to be simple, calm and free / Not to be someone I'm not meant to be." I feel like teenagers and young adults, especially girls, growing up are told who they are supposed to become, even in today's society. Almost especially in today's society! "I am me and that is enough / In my own world, I’m strong enough."
Great job and I really love this poem!
AmberMelanie

Thank you so much for the valuable review

This is a mostly solid poem! I have a few pieces of (hopefully constructive) criticism.

First, you stick to AABB or ABAB stanzas with two exceptions. Your first is ABCD, which can be explained as setting the tone for the poem. The second is the 9th stanza, which you choose to instead use AABC:

All women are perfect but I am not free,
Living with him accepting what will be.
Why can't his love reflect what I give,
When I endure through the joy and the sieve?

I'd suggest rewriting it as this to make it fit the AABB rhyme scheme:

All women are perfect but I am not free,
Living with him accepting what will be.
Even though his love, that which I know is but to deceive,
When I endure through the joy and the sieve?

Lastly, on the topic of the 9th, the last line doesn't make much sense to me. Furthermore, I tried to find metaphors that referenced sieves and only got 'sifting through'. Maybe this got last in translation, or maybe I just didn't look hard enough. In general, it does seem that it's the weakest stanza to me.

Anyway, I hope this was a good, if short review. The poem was good, even if I mostly glossed over what I liked.

Thank you for the review....I did wondered to keep that stanza or not in the poem. That is help ful



When something is broken, it can be fixed.
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