z

Young Writers Society



Airpot II

by Nike


I know. Writing Part II's and sequels clearly suck. But, I feel like I shouldn't not write one to this peice. But at the same time, I feel I shouldn't write one. I like leaving people empty like that I guess. Whatever, I'm already here. My lamp just died on me, yay. Writing in the dark. Anyway, here we are.

I began to write something on the notepad next to me. Words just flew from my head and onto the paper. Smoothly, with no interruptions, I wrote. I didn't even notice anything around me. My own world in these few short minu-

"Amber!" someone interrupted me.

Looking up, I saw my manager, Maggie. She had on a blank face but her eyes were blazing with anger. Wonderful. What did I do now?

"Yes?" I asked, putting down my pen.

"What are you doing? You should be at the ticket counter!"

"The flight has all of their passengers booked already."

"Than why are there people crowding up the desk?"

I stood up, putting on a small smile. She gave me one in exchange and I went past her. The gate was almost full with passengers as I passed them. Walking away from the gate and past security, I got to the counter. There were only a few people and two people were already managing them.

"You need help?" I asked, walking behind the booth.

"Nope, we are fine, thanks." I noticed one of them was my friend Jasmine.

"Hey girl!" she turned and looked at me.

"Hey Jas," I smiled.

I walked up to her, hugging for a quick second as she returned to her passenger. I walked into the office behind the counter which also lead me to the gate. So, I took the path, waving to a few people as I went by and finally got back to where I started.

The first thing I noticed was the empty desk. The computer was still blinking though.

"Shit," I huffed under my breath.

My writing, it's gone. I knew I should have token it. Maggie probably took it and threw it out due to her disapproval. Jesus Christ. i hope that's what happened.

I went into the gate and watched a few more people sit down comfortably. Oh, forgot to tell you. I did get a chance to meet Daniel the-one-the-only Radcliffe. Pretty sick. Picture. Autograph. he's very pleasant and hot. Very hot. This is the reason I like my job. Daniel. Freaking. Radcliffe.

Anyway. Walking through the gate, I answered a few questions from passengers and helped some with what they needed. My job was to be accomplished correctly. I was one of those who did not want to get suspended. I caught Maggie at the corner of my eye as I was talking to an elderly woman.

"Yes, your flight will be there around the evening." I assured her.

With a soft smile, she went back to doing her things. I straightened out, and went my way to Maggie. She's been on my ass these days. God.

"Amber," she said, her voice high. "Remember that you are at work, not at school."

Like you could doze of at school without a teacher snapping at you. College wasn't much different than high school with that.

"Yes, I apologize."

"Good. Good job." she smiled.

Uh, was that even a smile?

She walked past me and I walked up to the doors that lead to the jet bridge. The scanner was just a foot away when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Cold hands. It's Maggie. Again. Whoopie.

I spun on my heel and saw her looking at me, a little to close for comfort but whatever.

"You can actually go home now, it's the end of your shift."

Looking at my watch, I saw that yes in fact, it was seven o'clock at night. My time to dip this hell hole.

"Thank you and goodnight." I smiled.

She returned with a 'night' as I past by her, on my way to the office. Some passengers looked at me, all happy and glowing. While others were trying to hide their sorrow. I reached the office with a push on the door. Only the secretary sat at the desk, talking on the phone. I got to the time-card's and searched for mine. In a quick second, I found it and clocked myself out.

The ceiling in here needed to be covered, once you looked up you could see the bare bones of the airport. Unless British likes this, I believe this should be changed. We were supposed to get a new office anyway.

"Night," I said, pushing the door open.

I rushed to our break room which was downstairs in the arrivals section of the terminal. So, walking past many people, pushing my way through and creatively finding my way to the escalator, I finally found my self kicking the door the the room open. I could hear someone toying with their locker, but other than that, there was no one. We had small rooms with lockers and the main lunch area had them as well. Mine was one of the first, right next to the door. I spun the dial, rushed, got my stuff and shut the damn thing locked.

"Goodnight," I heard someone say.

Before I could even make it to the door, I spun on my heel and saw a dazzling Penelope. She had a smile that could be a nesting place for flying debris and eyes so full of happiness, I was going to choke.

"Night," I said anyway.

Either my jealousy was excruciating or she really is unlikable.

She past me, opening the door and leaving it to close itself. I followed after and caught my breath in my thought. I have spoken to her maybe a few times, but my jealousy got the better of me. God, I am horrible.

Her phone rang as we walked through the terminal, I was going to the escalator and so conveniently was she. So, I wasn't eavesdropping, okay?

"Hey," she giggled.

Throw up.

"Oh, yeah..." she paused. "I hope he comes."

My stomach heated up at the pit of it, like fire ready for me to blow out of my mouth.

"Why wouldn't't he?" she laughed. "Duh!"

"Hold on, I got a text."

She got of the escalator and I followed after, pulling my other backpack strap so I could have it on. We were going to the trams that took you all around the airport.. From Terminal 1 to Remote Parking Lot E. I was headed to Terminal Two and I suppose she was too.

A few people were scattered around the tram waiting area as were the employees wearing green jackets. I leaned against the window, there were windows all over this level, showing the track of the tram and the outside world. It was snowing, rough winds blowing past us.

I slipped on my headphones, turning on the MP3 player on my phone. Muse blasted into my ears, making me smile. These guys. They were yes. I shut my eyes for a few seconds until I felt someone touch my shoulders. Jumping, I pulled out one of my headphones and turned on my heel.

"Don't do that!" I hit him on the arm.

He laughed which made me laugh.

"You need a ride home?"

"I guess... if that's not a problem."

Following after him, I felt everything in my jump. Happiness sprung in my heart, growing all over. Cheesy. Jesus Amber. What that hell is wrong with you?!

We went to the break room, grabbing his stuff and heading all the way back to Departures. The bus for the parking lot came here. I would know since I drive with my brother. But today, he works late.

"So, how are you?" he asked as we stood next to the the doors to the outside. It was snowing bad, the snow stuck to everything it landed on. Like magnet.

"Better, I guess." I smiled. "Since you're here." he's blind anyway, he can't see what goes on around him. With people lying, backstabbing, loving, liking. He just can't see. He just can't see it. I wish he could. Then he'd notice, Whoa! Amber likes me!

He smiled wholeheartedly and pulled me into a warm hug. His held onto me tightly even though I wanted to pull away. A minute later, I was able to get out of his bear hug and I laughed. The first thing I saw once I got out of his hug were his eyes, hazel and warm. So inviting.

"Jay..." I smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing. Just happy to see you after this long day. A friendly face is better than seeing Maggie on your ass."

He chuckled, knowing what I meant. She wasn't too fond of him either.

"The bus is here." he said.

Looking out the doors, yes, the bus was here and people were pilling in. We ran through the doors, out into the cold and onto the hot bus. This guy cranked up the heating real good. We sat at the front of the bus, pretty much the only open seats left. The bus drove off, headed to the parking lot.

"I love this weather." I smiled, looking out the window in the uncomfortable seat.

"Yeah, me too. Reminds me of home."

I looked at him and saw the soft smile grow on his face as he looked past me and out the window. he's originally from Europe, as am I. So snow was one of those beautiful things you got there, not here.

"Yeah," I sighed.

I looked back out, enjoying the ride in awkwardness. Either this guy was silent or I was speaking. A few minutes passed and we were at our stop. We hopped off the bus and I followed him to his car. I've been in there only once, with my brother, cause I was one scared mother fucker. But yeah, I knew how it looked.

"Can't find it?" I asked after five minutes of looking.

"No, I know where it is..." he swiveled around, looking.

"Sure you do." I smiled.

He gave me this look, which said "ha-ha" and "not cool". I shut up and let him look.

THAT'S ALL FOR TONIGHT. IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING GOODNIGHT.


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Mon Feb 04, 2013 12:54 am
Kale wrote a review...



Before I mention anything else, I feel compelled to point out that you have a typo in your title. This is very bad. Very very bad. What having a typo in your title says to your readers is that you don't care enough about your writing to check to make sure everything's good (whether or not this is truly the case), which inclines your readers to care less about your writing. So yes. If there is one thing you go in to fix, it should be your title as it is quite literally the first thing your readers will ever see of this piece, and first impressions are incredibly important and lasting.

I knew I should have token it.

Should be "taken". You remember that first impression I mentioned earlier with typo in the title? Things aren't looking so good... especially since there's more basic errors right after this. And so this was the point where I concluded that you didn't proofread this before posting, which is not a good idea if you want other people to take your writing seriously, because if you don't take your own writing seriously enough to proofread it before posting, why should anyone else?

There's nothing wrong with wanting to share your writing right away, but proofreading your writing before you post it shows your readers that you're willing to put in the extra time and effort into your writing to make it really shine, and so we should too. I strongly encourage you to, every time before you post something, go through it and make sure all your spelling and capitalization is correct before slapping it up onto the internet. It'll make a really big difference in how your writing is perceived.

One last thing: you state that Jay is blind. However, he has a car, and there is no mention of a driver. This makes no sense. How can he have a car and be able to use it when he can't see to drive?

You need to fix that.




Nike says...


Um I meant he was blind from what's under his nose... Not literally. Like he can't see what's right in front of him. He can see. Sorry about that confusion. I shall fix that. And the typo I will fix that. I haven't gotten around to edit this work. So I will soon. Thanks for the review :)



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Sat Feb 02, 2013 3:31 am
PenguinAttack wrote a review...



Hi Nike!

It's good to see the continuation of the last part, it left a lot of thoughts in my head. First
I'm just going to say that the one bit of language for this felt like it came completely from left field, it just didn't expect it at all. I'm also still confused about the age of Amber, she doesn't exactly behave like a teen sometimes, but at other times she's so much like a teen it's confusing.

When Jay comes back in the end, she doesn't mention his name until like two paragraphs later, that is far too long. I had no idea who she was talking about until you put the name in. The interaction is a little awkward but okay, he probably shouldn't be hugging her so much if he's the manager but you seem to be setting it up so that it seems he likes her. I'd be okay with this if I knew how old she was, again, otherwise he might be a creeper, even if she likes him. It would also help explain some of her actions and her motivation.

She does a lot of rambling that I think you could clean up and focus. I know we're in her head, but it gets a bit boring there when she's just rambling on. Like when she's talking about how Jay is blind (at that point I thought she was literally talking to a blind guy who could drive and I was stupidly confused) and she just adds on all these adjectives and things. We don't need all that, even if it's how young people think, all jumbled up, because you haven't set the story or the scene enough for us to just run with it. If we were more established in setting - is it raining or light or cold or something outside? Are there lots of people on the bus, does he like her music?

I know I've talked a lot about what I don't like, but I actually do enjoy reading this. I think it's a bit funny and a bit odd and I'd like to see what happens to Amber. I am curious as to whether you're going to try and make this a very long story, cause I'd probably advise against it. Amber's fun but not yet fleshed out enough to make a long story worth it.

Thanks for the read, I'm looking forward to the next part. Hit me up if you have any questions, queries or just want to chat!

~ Pen.




Nike says...


Thanks for the review. I will get around to editing it soon. Yeah, amber is a teenager. I'll make it more clear.




What's the point of being a grown-up if you can't be a bit childish sometimes?
— 4th Doctor