The Color of Pain

I never though of pain like that, pain has all kinds of masks I suppose, but instead, thinking it off as a color and a forced smile works very well together. This haiku also has a very nice rhythm to it, one of the perks of haiku I suppose.

I like how you have used, dull and grayish-pink to highlight the tone of the sentence and thus, making the next line more effective.

Nice work, once again.

Your suggestion of pain being an emotion that you cover with a mask seems well thought out. Your poem is short and sweet yet filled with so much information. And grayish pink is an interesting color to see.

You know, smile might be considered one syllable but most people read it like its two. Smi-LE
Although I am not the best with tenses in poetry.

I thought it suffice, well not technically, but well enough for people who like to read intuitively. I find this to be perfect, as it can be, but would find it to be a better start of a poem instead. If there was more I would love it but I tend to like more meat on my poetry then the next person, and there's nothing wrong with the way its presented.

The color of pain grabs you in although I get rather sick of the word "pain" at times it still gets the job done and I don't quite know a better word to use or theme with the given parameters. The "would be dull grayish-pink" is suspenseful and it reads rather naturally from the first line and the "of a forced smile" perfectly ties it together and makes the reader rather surprised.

I think some of the best poems are the ones that sneak up on you and -in three lines- you did that well, good job.

hero

You spelled colour wrong!

Wow...I've seen several haikus before, and I've known good ones to be capable of creating loads of imagery and emotion in very few words, but none quite like this one. Even more astounding, this technically isn't a haiku-the last line has only four syllables whilst a haiku has five, meaning it has even less words and is therefore perhaps even more remarkable! Honestly, I have never known a poem to hold such weight in such few words and lines. Flippin' excellent!!

What makes you think that fortis"

Hey a three line poem? Wow! Sounds interesting. I'd like to call it a quote or thought instead of poem. This doesn't seems to be a poem also. *Giggles*. I think the dull gray means sad and pain if i am not mistaken. Am I right about that? Hope I am. . Why don't you add more lines the poem would be great. A nice and short write. Keep Writing and do ask me if you would like me to review your work. Gotta Go
Thankz.

Hey fortis!
Hmmm...you're name sounds familiar but I can't quite put my finger on it...
Anyway, I'm hanorah and ill be reviewing your haiku.

Nice work, I love haikus, yet I'm quite bad at them so I applaud you.

You pretty much sum up pain in on sentence, well done! This is a perfect example of quality is better than quantity.

I have no critism, well done! I'd give it a 10/10!
Seeya.
~keep writing

Hey there. I'm new to dis...but here's a review!

Haikus are awesome. They are always really short. But they pack a punch. (yes these first three sentences are a haiku themselves...

Anyways, I like this because it shows the way that something like forced or feigned affection can be just as deadly or cause just as much pain to someone as something like outright demonstrations of dislike. Great job! This is a perfect example of a haiku because you were able to say a really big thing, with very few words. Fantastic. Worth a follow

Hey Fortis remember me. =)

I don't think this is a haiku an it's really good so you could make it longer. There are many ways to describe the color of pain.You could still use this and make the poem loner with different colors and different settings. Like for example

"The color of pain
would be the pale blue
of endless sadness"

or something like that. Oh well thanks for reading my review. Think about it.

I know it's a short poem, but that's how it's supposed to be. You did something very difficult. I was very intrigued by the title, which is a great start. Factual wise, you did a perfect job. As soon as that first line was read, I automatically ran over billions of thoughts of how you are feeling. This was a mysterious poem: which I love. I understood ever little word in this poem. Which is something that doesn't happen very often. You are an inspiring and amazing author. I wish people would write more Haikus. They are really interesting and make me think twice about anything I had ever known. Nice job!

Hi, LyricalRebel here to review your work. It is a short piece since it is a haiku and the topic was the color of pain. When you said in the second line that its color is a dull grayish-pink I actually had a quick idea of what it meant. The dull gray would be the sadness, pain, misery and sorrow experienced and the pink is the mark, pretending that everything is fine and nothing hurts but then when the third line was released I was enlightened by how you put into a single line the idea of everything. So little work and so much impression! All I can say is thank you for defining the emotion of pain for me. Great job! I hope to read more of your work.

Hey fortis!

I really like this. Plain and simple. I read it multiple times and each time, I obtained a new feeling from it. That was super cool. The first time, I didn't quite get it. The second, I began to understand. By the third time reading the haiku, I smiled.

Your are so, so clever. I now imagine a color palette with a 'dull grayish-pink' color named Pain. Haha. Now I'm curious if there is one.

So, a haiku goes in the form of this:

Five syllables here
Seven syllables
Then five here again

Correct?
Have you ever clapped your hands to find out how many syllables are in a word when you were young? I still use that method today. I just think it's easy and reliable.

Anyway, I tried using that method with this poem. The first two lines are correct. Though, I'm having trouble with the last line. Of, a, and forced are all one syllable I believe. But I don't know if 'smile' is one or two.

I'm going to go look it up on Google real quick. ^__^

Okay, so it's officially one syllable. I looked at multiple websites to make sure. So, that makes the last line four syllables. I liked the last line too. Oh, well. Of course, you don't have to change it if you don't wanna.

Great job on this haiku fortis! Happy writing!

Yours till the Chocolate Chips,
Snow

Quick review for a quick work!

Let me say that I just generally really dug this piece. I was confused at the second line, but the third line brought it home. It's a great statement about pain and how we handle it today and it really works on a pathetic level, because who among us has never been hurting and hidden it with a smile and a causal "I'm fine".

My one complaint would be that I read the last line as only four syllables, because I read it as "forst" instead of "for-sed".

But seriously, very good. I dug it.

-Loller