A haze covers the form
of a line in the distance,
but I can still hear it,
Marching, pounding.
A rabbit’s heart.
I can taste the words
of an old battle hymn
ready to spring off my tongue.
“He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword”
The words play relentlessly in my head,
over and over.
but my mouth stays closed.
The silence of an insect.
The song dies on my parched lips.
The sky is yellow.
I have never seen the sun.
But I am so hot,
I imagine it’s creeping closer to the ground every day.
Sinking. Burning.
Coming closer, like the line in the distance.
Marching, Pounding.
I hear the rabbit’s heart in my ears again,
beating in time to the hymn,
the flutter of each chamber
in an effort to keep up the twitches.
Flickers.
The line solidifies into a mass of bodies.
They stumble onward,
cavalry without horses,
marines without an ocean.
“I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnished rows of steel”
Their crooked hands and pockmarked faces.
bleeding dry blood.
The sky is red and orange.
Life is an oven.
There is no more water left to sweat.
There is no more water left to cry.
There is no more water left.
Dry, Cracking.
The sky is disintegrating.
Rocks pierce the clouds:
an upside-down mountain.
falling, falling.
“So the world shall be His footstool, and the soul of Time His slave”
The rabbit dies of asphyxiation.
Falling, Crashing, Burning.
The sky is on fire.
The world is on fire.
The clouds are chemicals.
The world grinds to a halt.
Chemical reaction.
Explosive reactants + heat energy =
…
. . .
. . . .
Dust, Dust.
Glory, Glory.
Stardust.
Into the darkness
of a void.
Hallelujah.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Sphealwithit here, happy review day.
You really are good at describing. I love the detail in the poem. The language is smooth and lyrical and with a good mix of metaphors.
I'm with ANADIR here when I ask but are you with the hymn of the republic, or fighting it? just saying.
This is a good poem you should keep up the good work.
Sphealwihtit out..
I am neither with the battle hymn of the republic, nor against it. I am using it for my own purposes. I don't know if that makes sense.
Ok. I'm probably just as confused as you are. This was really discrpitive, but, are you with the hymn of the Republic, or fighting it?

:P:P
You were really good with the metaphores, and your words flowed really well. I wouldn't mind reading a bit more...
Blue team's pickle lover- Andy
I am neither with the battle hymn of the republic, nor against it. I am using it for my own purposes. I don't know if that makes sense. But thanks for the review.
Knight Malachi here to review for Review Day.
So I don't really know what this was about either. I was confused as to whether or not this in commemoration of the battle hymn of the Republic, or against it. Your writing itself was beautiful. I loved the description and the metaphoric writing. As well as the style in which you wrote it Good job.
Keep it up!
I am neither with the battle hymn of the republic, nor against it. I am using it for my own purposes. I don't know if that makes sense. But thanks for reviewing!