The Auction

Hello fortis!

Wow. This is amazing. I loved this poem. Do you always write such meaningful and deep poems?

I love the message behind the poem. It's flawless. Like always.

"Loyalty was sold for parts.
Someone bought the Earth,
The cheapest merchandise was hearts.
No one knew what they were worth"

^This was my favorite part but I loved the last line the most.

Well done!

~Gigi
And Happy Reviewing!

Hi fortis!

I have to say, I really, really enjoyed reading this...the darker message behind the poem actually struck a cord within me and despite the poem being on the shorter side, I kept reading every word and ate it up. It's amazing. You honestly have such an amazing gift for writing poetry!

The one thing I would want you to change is the first line, and it's so minute it doesn't even really matter if you do - but in my personal opinion I think that "the Auction" should be changed to "The Auction." I think capitalizing The would put so much more emphasis on the rest of the poem and would make the entire thing a larger statement than it is.

The last line also hit me, as I wasn't expecting it. I liked it a lot, and I'll be honest when I say that I can actually relate to how people don't quite understand what they have and give it away for such a low price - never really understanding until it's gone what things (material or not) in life are worth.

Please keep writing, it's so flavorful and amazing to read!

Very witty, =3 Excellent show,
Way better than anything I can do, so a comment must suffice.

Hi! I will start out with what I liked most. The last sentence is the best part of the poem, it added depth to it. I like that you capitalized the "A" for auction. Right from the start, you knew that it was an important subject. I think you should capitalize the rest of the feelings so that they can become proper nouns too. For example, "Fear" for the fourth line. This is not a style that I am too fond of, so you don't have to listen to the next advice. I just thought it was a little too simple and I didn't get the correlation between souls, fear, compassion, virtue, etc.

This reminds me of Shel Silverstein

So, I'm not a rhymey-poem person, but this...this can be one of the few notable exceptions.

You've got a really great use of your rhyme scheme here, that helps the poem rather than simply stifling your options creatively. It was poignant and well-written and a little bit sad, and I adore the simple presentation and its deeper reflections about what humanity inherently seems to value. You manage to say a lot in a little, which is a sign of a good poet.

Alas, I'm left with little to say. I don't have any corrections, really, which is not my norm. I suppose I'll just have to reiterate that I thoroughly enjoyed this endearing little poem.

Keep writing, and best wishes. xxx

Wow, this is an awesome poem! I don't really have anything to say other than watch out for certain lines with one or two more syllables to flow completely, but it wasn't like I had to stop reading and cluck my tongue in disappointment or anything. I really like the message this holds, it's definitely true in today's society. Actually, I think I do have just one suggestion that you don't even need to listen to. So the point you were trying to make was that material things were very expensive, but the things that mattered most were the cheapest things at the Auction, right? So I'd suggest writing a couple more lines by the iron part delving more into more items that are largely coveted today, and displaying how much someone is willing to pay to get it, just like you did with the example of iron. So I'd say go just a couple lines deeper into that materialism and this would be poetry book ready.

Hey Fortis!

Shady here with a review for your poem this time.

As I mentioned earlier, I tend to be really rotten at reviewing poems, but this piece was too good for me to pass by without jotting down a few notes first.

So, I liked this, quite a bit. Your rhyme scheme was excellent, and the pace perfect. I actually understood what it was about, too, so you get bonus points~

That's about it. I liked it. Well done!

~Shady

Hey,
I love this, it is really good.
I don't have time to review as I am of to school soon, but I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed it.
Reading the description I thought it was going to be a silly poem about buying houses, instead what it was, was an amazing piece of work with a bunch load of emotion and heart.
Fantastic.

Keep writing and I will review it later if I have the time.
Nargles xxx