Nine

Hello! Here to review.

First of all, i don't understand the concept that much, i feel it's confusing. would you mind telling me what's it all about?

Just numbers? you know by reading your poem, i remember of the poem used in Agatha Christie's "And then there were none" I am sorry for forgetting the poem's name

And, did you really make those spelling errors intentionally? o_O

And, alright, it's a fun read though.

Nice. Write more. Stay good. Have fun!

The spelling mistakes I will assume is intentational, you don't see like the type who makes careless mistakes. Besides, after so many lives, is understandable your head might be a tag hurt.

This whole poem has a wonderful flow and rhythm, feeling the tension building in each stanza as each and each life gets more frustrating, more painful. I'm now increasing loving your poems, they're one a kind.

Not too blunt nor too elaborate. Amazing!

Wow... fortis.. your writing is amazing, seriously!
This is so well done, I love how your spelling and the voice just sort of crumbles and deteriorates throughout until the last lines:
"eight. eight
Hate.
eight."
It's so well written and thought through. Again, I apologize as I can find nothing to correct! Great work, I really admire your writing skills!
_CFG

Hey there fortis! We meet again. :3 HUEHUEHUEHUE :3

I really enjoyed this piece! :3 It's quite interesting.

Look's like you made the typos intentionally and those are what makes the poem more unique!
Wow.
Like wow.
It is brilliant. How, you started making intentional 'spellings-gone-crazy'. It made the poem stand out and I don't know how, but they made it more real and gave it clarity.
I love how the poem collapsed at eight and you named it "Nine".

Brilliant job! Keep up the good work, fortis! I always enjoy your poems. :3

~ Gigi

And Happy Reviewing!

I like this. Is it purposely left open-ended? Do you have a thought of what it is about in your mind and you have chosen not to share? That's fine. I thought perhaps it was about lies. When one lies, one is splitting oneself into two different places where they have to maintain both realities to different people. As the lies keep building, the actual, true person can be overwhelmed and overcome. They may feel like it is too late to turn back. That could have been nothing like what you envisioned for the poem, but that's what I took from it.

I actually do see some sense in the spelling mistakes. The poem starts with good grammar and spelling, but as it progresses and the person is losing their grip on sanity and reality, he or she slips into the mistakes and stops being careful.

I enjoyed this piece! Thank you for putting it on here! Keep writing!

--Xreigon

I don't know if the spelling mistake thing was a joke or not but I will take it was not.
If so, why so? What does adding spelling mistakes add to the poem? How do they enhance it without taking away effect.
The only effect it gives is that of a child. It can give the effect that as the person gives more and more lives, they become younger and younger?

I was very interested at this poem. It had good pace and rhythm and its consistency was just enough to sustain the reader into its tempo.
I like how you decided not to use exact rhymes but near ones. This helps to convey the sense of rhyming while exact rhymes will give it a too jumpy or fun approach. I think that the use of near rhymes is a much more particular art form than exact.

Since you said spelling was intentional I can't nitpick. Were the i's intentional too?

Hello! Runawaylove here to review.

The title was catchy, good choice. I love the rhyming scheme and i really appreciate a poem that rhymes. Your poem is gripping. I read it quite a few times before reviewing. The theme is good and unique.

Four lives I lead,
Four lives, one me.
So much disention,
I’m losing conection.

This is my favourite stanza. I really like the last two lines. Now, The ending was good but it could be better I guess.

eight. eight

Hate.

eight

I do not like this part. I think the poem would be better off without them. But this is your poetry and end of the day it is your opinion that matters. The poem was overall a very good piece and i enjoyed reading it. your rhyming scheme and word choice was remarkable. Keep writing!

Wow. This is quite exceptional. You didn't even need to describe the fact that the errors were done on purpose; it's clear that the mistakes are permanent. And it's my first time actually reading mistakes that worked out. It reminds me of the short story "Flowers for Algernon". I wish I could write like this.

There's one thing that kind of bothers me. Why the triple periods after 'cant let it out' on line 24? It seems out of place even in the devolving of the poem. Other than the relation to the title, multiple periods just reads awkward to me. This confusion transfers over to the title as well. More interesting ideas could be played with, especially numerically. I would have titled it, "Nine". If not, I would at least get rid of the '...'.

I really loved this poem though. It's clever and simple. The structure is organized, then becomes purposely disorganized. Keep posting more stuff; it inspires me to edit and write more! Thanks for the read.