Young Writers Society

Hey there,

I love the idea behind this poem. I love its delicacy, and I love the happy, yet somber tone that flowers contribute to its atmosphere, but its delivery isn't swimming as well as it could. Is there a reason you capitalize the flower names? I know they are nouns, but they are not proper nouns, and shouldn't be capitalized unless you're using their binomial nomenclature...

I will be first in line to admit that I am a sucker for big words, but here,

All I ever dared to say was never too direct;
It's ambiguous as equivocality...
I learned to never say but to show;
To write in secret garden codes

I feel Amaryllis for how your poetry has progressed. I Acacia you for your ability. I hope you have the Hollyhock to pursue your gifts.
May a Tulip-tree eventually come to you.
Jenth
Ha.

There is an interesting play between what we know and what you're presenting to us. For example, I know sage is an herb and typically used for healing. I know buttercups are typically a playful nickname for women dating, and that they're childish. I know clover is another herb and typically associated with luck. You don't use that, and this is a little confusing for me to read because of that, but also because you need to explain the flowers.

Most of the time I feel like if something needs explaining, then something's off. In this case, I'm not sure that's 100% the case. It is nice to see the flower references, but I think you're basing too much of the poem in them. There needs to be a balance between being able to read the poem and not understand the references and the joy of the secret when you do. For me, this poem has too much foreplay before you get to the crux of the matter in the second to last stanza.

This is beautiful and I think it is perfect the way it is.

Why start something that's already over?