z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Maths

by umaima


Sometimes I end up
awake all night,
Trying to find your X,
which you lose every time.

Are you so bad at relationships?
Can't you keep her safe?
Every time you lose her,
I end up hitting my head.

Arithmetic, Geometry or Calculus,
Just keep everything to yourself,
Because neither does anyone wants’ them
nor do I myself.

Sometimes memorizing you're COS,
drives me so crazy,
that even the sanatorium’s doctors,
make excuses that they're busy.

I don't fear vampires,
nor any other creatures,
how much I fear-
your trigonometry!

I am so sorry that I have,
Such a grudge against you,
But I’m not at fault,
Though it can be your difficulty.

But I won’t blame you for it,
As there are others to,
Those Insane people,
Who put everything in a book.
 
No, not the mathematicians,
They were just great,
But those dumb heads,
Who made our texts.
 
Those people stuffed so much in them,
Resulting nothing useful,
Except for the four main aspects,
which we learned long ago.
 
Will someone tell me,
How Angles help in daily life?
Who cares if we can or cannot,
Bisect them or trisect them.
 
I don’t understand why,
They think us as geniuses,
When they themselves say,
Everyone’s not the same!
                                            
                                                 -Umaima 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
163 Reviews


Points: 5016
Reviews: 163

Donate
Tue Aug 04, 2015 7:08 am
Mysticalxx wrote a review...



Wow! Really good! I HATE math with all my soul, so I'M not sorry for having a grudge against it, like you say in the poem! But it's really good.
There are just a few grammatical errors which you could edit quickly (I'm too lazy to point them out) but it's great overall.

The first stanza is so hilarious! It's my favourite! :)

Keep it up.

Mist




User avatar
29 Reviews


Points: 1704
Reviews: 29

Donate
Mon Aug 05, 2013 8:45 am
View Likes
OceanGirl wrote a review...



Heyy Umaima!
This is SapphireFlames for reviewing your amazing poem!
Wow!!! your poem is soo good and amazing!!!
I loved it and enjoyed reading it thoroughly.
Wow!! even I feel the same with the 10th math its seriously so bugging especially Trigonometry! Remembering the sin , cos , tan and all the theta .....anyway lets leave that!

I love this part of the poem:
"Arithmetic, Geometry or Calculus,
Just keep everything to yourself,
Because neither does anyone wants’ them
nor do I myself."
its so funny.

the flow and stuff is perfect and alright!

Dude I loved it man!
keep it up!
I would like to see more of these types!

FutureAuthor,
SapphireFlames.




User avatar
157 Reviews


Points: 22293
Reviews: 157

Donate
Sun May 26, 2013 6:26 pm
View Likes
ERZA wrote a review...



Wow This Is A Poem!! I mean I feel the same way!!
Here everything thats written is so darn true!

Trigonometry is a headache.
quadratic equations give me amnesia.
Ratios give me goosebumps,
And the question paper gives me a panic attack!

I do not fear dark as much
As I fear you...
You are the one whose
Problems' we find out
And you do nothing sitting
There on our nervous heads!

You big dumb big Maths!
I will throw you out of the window..lol

The throwing out of the window part is very common in our classes when the teachers scold us when we are talking...how will she manage to throw us out of the window anyway??lol

Anyways A very fine poem this one is and I must say you exactly told us how some of us feel when we do our math he he :-D But Good woork this one is. Keep Writing!




umaima says...


Thanks ERZA :D



User avatar
806 Reviews


Points: 1883
Reviews: 806

Donate
Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:18 pm
View Likes
Aley wrote a review...



"I don't fear vampires,
nor any other creatures,
how much I fear-
your trigonometry!

I am so sorry that I have,
Such a grudge against you,
But I’m not at fault,
Though it can be your difficulty.

But I won’t blame you for it,
As there are others to,
Those Insane people,
Who put everything in a book."


So this first stanza I've sectioned off, it is the only time you mention fantasy, and it feels awkward simply because of that. You've stopped name dropping at this point too, and personally I liked the name drops better, but I can understand the need to stop. Using vampires specifically makes me think that your speaker lives in a fantasy world instead of our own, even though I'm pretty sure that is not the case. If you used something like death, or illness, or even cancer, then this section of the poem would tie more into the realism of this world rather than fearing a fantasy creature.

The second stanza has awkward phrasing due to the commas you put at the end of every line. This is something that goes through your entire poem and I think the poem could be better if you did not put punctuation at every line so the lines can flow smoothly as they want to instead of being forced to pause at the end. If you did this, the poem would almost be like a confessional letter. Also the last line in this stanza is awkward. The first time I read it, I thought you had the wrong your because of the phrasing. You might want to consider tweaking it.

The third stanza it's a simple typo, to instead of too. To= to do something, too= also.

I would suggest lower-casing angels because even though they are important, they aren't important enough to be a proper noun. Overall, this poem made me laugh. I enjoyed the word play, the outright frustration, and the witty humor in the poem.




umaima says...


Thanks a lot :D



User avatar
12 Reviews


Points: 1407
Reviews: 12

Donate
Sat Apr 06, 2013 11:30 pm
View Likes
primrose22 wrote a review...



This was a fun and cute little poem! :)

You have a nice rhythym going all throughout this, but at some places it does mess up a litte or become a bit odd. Like in the eighth stanza, you say

No, not the mathematicians,
They were just great,
But those dumb heads,
Who made our texts.


To be honest, I don't like this stanza at all. "Dumb heads" is just a bit *too* immature and silly for this poem, which I think is overall more clever and playful than this stanza. I would also recommend trying to keep with a rhyming scheme and find something to rhyme with "great" instead of "texts," or vice versa.

I'm also a bit unsure of the comma that you end each line with. Do you really need it? You already establish there there is somewhat of a pause because it's at the end of each line, so why do you need the comma? I myself would take it out, as it is often distracting in some places.

Overall, this is just a cute and fun little poem. Cool. :)




umaima says...


Hey,
thanks for the review and I am really glad you enjoyed it...well the commas are important because I want the reader to take a pause after each line...it makes the poem fun to read...




If you have a Kuzco in your life and they don't turn into a llama, bail.
— Alan SeaWright